Pretty Little Bride
by ChocolateChurros
Summary: [CHP 51 UP][RoyXEd] A wellknown terrorist group has made a terrible threat on Edward's life! In order to protect him the Fuhrer orders him into hiding accompanied by his uniformed friends. As loves bloom and pasts are revealed, a secret war is brewing...
1. Chapter 1: The Threat

Its me again. Back with, "Pretty Little Bride." Im sure you're all wondering why I named it that. Well, you wont know until the next chapter! MUWAHAHAHA. Oh, I'm bad. hehe. Anyway, enjoy:

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Ed staggered along the rainy road. The rolling hills in the distance made it feel like he

was _back home_, but when he looked to his side at all the crammed

buildings, it made the feeling disappear. The sky was dark and the rain was falling

down hard on him. In the distance he could see lightning every now and

then and the roll of thunder usually followed it. As he walked, his feet tapped on the

road. He had fallen a few times onto the hard stone street. It hurt his knee.

Even though it was right on the edge of the city, there still wasn't any good ground for

miles.

"_What a surprise_." He thought, gloomily.

He was in pain.

His legs hurt, his mouth hurt and his ego hurt. He was **nothing** without Alchemy. He

wasn't anything special. So he thought.

"Just a stupid "_dog of the military_" That's all."

He whispered to himself.

The constant taste of blood was in his mouth. He has been punched one too many

times. His whole body ached.

"You're a cheat, just like that Colonel."

He had been helping a little girl with a sprained knee get to her house. It had _just_

started raining. After he dropped her off, he began walking towards

headquarters. Suddenly, from an alley not too far in front of him, two rather large men

stepped out. They both crossed their arms and wouldn't let Edwardthrough.

One of them was in a black collared shirt and the other was in a blue tank

top. The one in the blue tank top had a mustache, dark pants and a piece

of cloth wrapped around his head. The other one had sunglasses and black dress

pants. The one in the blue tank top put his hand on Edwards head,

"Going somewhere?"

Ed looked up at him and glared.

"Yes, I am. Get out of the way."

He swatted the man's hand away and stepped forward.

"Hey, you're that _Full Metal Alchemist_ guy."

Ed remained silent.

"We've been dying to fight you."

"You don't want to fight me." Ed said with reassurance.

"Sure we do; only, it's not _your _type of fighting."

"What?"

"Real men fight with fists. And you're nothing without your precious Alchemy."

Suddenly two more men came up from behind Edward. One was in a black leather

jacket and blue jeans. The other was in a white vest and light pants. The

one in the white vest began to crack his knuckles.

"I don't have _time_ for this." Ed said with a smirk.

"See guys, he's not worth it. He's not the real thing."

"Yea, he's probably just a **cheat**. Just like that _Colonel_."

"Weakling."

They began walking away.

"What do you mean the Colonel is a cheat?"

"He sleeps with men to get promotions. He's a cheat."

Ed took off his jacket and put up his fists.

"I'll take you all on."

Ж

Of course, he had been beaten to a pulp. They had dragged him into a car and

dropped him at the edge of the city. Where he was now.

He was soaked to his bones and his hair stuck to his face. He was cold and shivering

as he started remembering the events of earlier that day again.

"You're nothing without Alchemy!"

"Just like that Colonel Mustang!"

"The Colonel is a cheat and sleeps with men to get promotions!"

**That **pissed him off. The Colonel may have been overly concerned with getting

promotions… but he _earned _them. He knew that the Colonel was a pervert, not

very professional at times, and kind of a jerk, but that didn't mean he would go

around and sleep with any old guy just to get promoted. He knew that. He

knew the Colonel. After all, he had been serving under him for quite some time now.

He liked the Colonel…sometimes.

"Oh no! Where did you go? I can't see you under this mountain of paperwork on my

desk! You're too small Chibi-san!"

Ed giggled a bit. It hurt his stomach to giggle, but he did anyway.

"You're nothing without Alchemy!"

It echoed through his mind.

"It's true." He said aloud.

"I'm nothing without Alchemy."

Suddenly, he heard a rather loud car horn and two headlights flashed brightly onto

him. He heard a familiar loud metallic stomp moving in a rhythm, coming

toward him.

Then, a familiar voice yelled out to him.

"Nii-san!"

He turned around, winced and fell to his knees.

**"Nii-san!" **

"I'm alright Al."

He mumbled.

Alphonse helped him back up and supported his limping body to the nearby truck. It

was parked part on the street, part on the "ground" as they called it.

Which is wasn't, to Edward.

"Ground has green on it."

He thought. This "ground" was just dirt.

He could hear the constant tapping of the water on Alphonse's armor.

It reminded him of before. Those men. The car. The car had made the same sound under the rain.

"Nothing without Alchemy!"

"That Colonel Is a Cheat!"

He shook the thought from his mind, and fought to keep his eyes open. His attention then when to the truck.

He blinked a few times and looked inside. Behind the steering wheel, he saw an

extremely angry looking Roy staring back at him. He glared at Ed.

Ed closed his eyes and again thought of what those men had said.

" Roy isn't a cheat." He thought.

"Just a jerk."

He smiled.

Ed then said to Al,

"I'll walk on my own."

The rain was thinning out and he didn't want to ride with Roy when he was _angry. _

Of course, he would never admit it was because he was embarrassed. He most likely

looked like crap. He had gotten his ass kicked, how else would he look?

"But Nii-san!"

"Don't help me!"

He began limping passed the truck toward the general direction of the headquarters.

Suddenly, Roy stepped out from the truck.

He slammed the door behind him and walked very casually over to Edward. It wasn't

hard to catch up to Edward, who was barely keeping his balance. When

Roy was right behind him, he tapped Ed's shoulder.

"What do you want?" Ed said haughtily.

"Turn around."

So he did as he was told. Definitely not because he was following Roy 's orders. It was

because he wanted to. _Right… _

Almost at the exact moment he turned around Roy picked him up by the armpits and

threw him over his shoulder.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing? That hurts!" Ed yelled.

He then saw another dark green army truck pull up rather quickly and out poured:

Armstrong, Fuery, Havoc, Farman, and Breda . They all lined up in a row

and kept their hands at their sides.

"That's called "being at attention," I think." Ed thought.

He was still yelling ear piercingly loud. He yelled at Roy to put him down. Of course, it

didn't help Roy any.

Roy then yelled louder than Ed dorwning him out,

"As you can see, I have found him; you are to return to headquarters behind us."

He paused.

"Armstrong…"

"Sir?"

"You will accompany the Lieutenant and I."

"Yes sir!" He yelled.

"I expect to be receiving orders concerning the current situation soon, until then, we

don't do anything, unless it is **completely **necessary."

"Yes sir!" They all yelled in unison.

"Alright, move out!"

They all began piling back into the truck, Havoc in the driver's seat. He started tapping

his hands on the wheel and humming some tune Roy had never heard before.

"Does he even _have_ a driver's license?" Roy thought.

"Probably not."

He smiled and looked over at Riza who was still standing there.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Sir?"

You will ride in the back with Armstrong and the _other_ Elric brother.

"Yes sir!"

He threw her a blue plastic tarp type thing to put over the bed of the truck so none of

them would get wet. The rain was going to stop soon, but that didn't matter.

"I guess I _am _a nice guy sometimes." He thought and smiled.

Armstrong helped Riza into the bed of the truck. Because, after all, he was a

gentlemen.

She accepted the help and sat beside Al with her gun at the ready.

"Will my Nii-san be okay?"

He asked her. She didn't hear him, she was to busy thinking about what she might do

if something bad happened. Behind them, Armstrong was strapping in

the plastic tarp and the rain tapped on it.

"Will my Nii-san be okay?" He repeated.

Riza sighed, nodded her head and said with a reassuring smile,

"He'll be… fine."

She looked down at the bed and picked up a stick with a single leaf on it. She began

twisting it around and around.

"The Colonel was very worried for him this time." She whispered.

"Why?" He questioned.

She sighed.

"This group…"

She paused.

"Never mind, I probably shouldn't tell you."

"Please tell me." He pleaded.

She closed her eyes.

"You are never to repeat this."

She said to him sternly.

"Uhuh." He responded.

She took a deep breath.

"They're Alchemists."

Ж

Ed continued to yell at Roy who just wouldn't let him down.

Roy then opened the passenger door to that stupid truck and threw him down onto

the cheap green seat. After all, these trucks _were _army issue. All green.

Roy put his hand on Ed's chest to keep him there.

"You are going to stay in that truck and let me take you to headquarters."

"Don't tell me what to do!" He yelled.

"There has been a threat on your life by a rather large and well- known

anti - government group. We are going to make sure they don't get to you."

"I'm not afraid!" Ed yelled and tried to get up.

"You are very important to the government. We cannot afford to loose you. Your

talents are much sought after. So just sit there and shut up."

"That's the only reason why." He whispered.

"What was that?" Roy said with confusion.

"Alchemy… If I wasn't an Alchemist, they wouldn't protect me."

Roy closed his eyes.

"You're probably right. But try not to take it personally."

Roy buckled his metal seatbelt then used a small amount of his power and melted it.

Ed struggled to get free.

"What'd you do that for?" He yelled.

Roy then slammed the door and walked over to the driver's seat.

"Don't even try to get away, Full Metal!"

He yelled and banged on the truck a couple times.

Roy walked over to the other truck and helped them put on their blue plastic tarp. Roy

then walked to the driver's seat, stared at Havoc, and took his cigarette

from his mouth. He frowned and split it in half.

"Don't smoke today."

Havoc's eyes were big.

"But- B-b-but…"

"That's an order."

"Yes sir." Havoc said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Just as Roy walked away, he pulled out another cigarette and smirked.

Roy twisted around on one foot and glared at Havoc.

"Heh." Havoc said nervously.

He put the cigarette away and smiled at Roy .

Roy then proceeded to the truck where he had Ed as his prisoner.

He opened the door, slammed it behind him and fumbled to get the keys out of his pocket.

Roy looked serious. Never before had Edward seen him so pumped. He decided to

shut his mouth. It was then that he realized how hurt he was. He started to

feel lightheaded and his vision blurred.

"Colonel…"

Ed whispered.

Roy glanced over at Edward as he started up the truck. Roy took off his glove, reached

over, and placed his cool hand on Ed's forehead.

"No Fever."

He said with a hint of relief.

"You're beat up pretty bad though, what happened? I know it wasn't the people who

threatened your life, they wouldn't have left you alive."

Roy closed his eyes. He looked as if he was contemplating something very important.

He opened his eyes again.

"Well?" He persisted.

Ed grunted and his eyes became droopy.

"What? Did you hit on a girl with a boyfriend or something?"

Roy smiled perversely as he remembered his own experience with **that. **

"Oh Maria. Or was it Lena ? Or… Julie?... Mary? Oh well…I don't remember."

He sighed.

"So what happened?"

Edward closed his eyes and just before falling fast asleep he softly whispered,

"You're not a cheat."

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Well, hello again. Yes, yes, I know you all hate me for _not _continuing my other fic. When I have more time on my hands I _might _write a sequel. Well, yea. It took FOREVER to come up with a good title for this. And **you **wont get it until the next chapter. So.. HAHA. lol. Trust me, Its great. Anyway, **PLEASE REVIEW! I BEG YOU! **lol. Oh and btw, if you have any ideas or suggestions, I would **love **to hear them. I rewrite each chapter like... a **million times** before submitting it. So yea. hehe. Thanks all:)


	2. Chapter 2: Unusual Orders

Okay, this is when the title is explained. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is kind of a short chapter... I'll probably edit it later on and add more detail and such. I just couldn't keep it a secret any longer. :) Anyway, enjoy.

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When Ed finally woke up, he was at headquarters, in an ugly white room that smelled like

fish. He growled. Suddenly he felt a nice cool breeze. He looked

over at the window and saw a beautiful sight. The long white curtains were flying with the

wind and the sun was shining brightly. And there, leaning

against the window frame, was Roy. He was in that stupid uniform of his, hat and all. He

looked very formal. The soft wind

made his hair fly around his face, making him look absolutely beautiful. Roy's eyes were

closed and his head pointed towards the sky. He was smiling. Ed

blushed and cleared his throat.

"Ahh." Roy said without turning around.

"The sleeping chibi finally awakes."

Ed stumbled out of bed, growling, limped over to Roy and threw a punch at him. Roy caught it and smiled.

"Go back to bed."

Ed jerked his hand back and growled.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Suddenly, Lieutenant Hawkeye opened the door. She poked her head in carefully and said,

"Colonel, sorry to interrupt, but there's a call for you. It's the

Fuhrer."

Roy nodded his head and walked towards the door. He tipped his hat to Ed who was still

behind him and, without turning around said, "Go back to bed until

we decide on what to do about this situation."

"What situation?" Ed yelled. "I don't even know what's going on!"

"I'll inform you of everything after I receive my orders."

"WHEN?"

"Right now, as a matter of fact."

Ed growled.

Roy smiled and proceeded toward the door.

He put his hand on the brass knob and began to turn it as he said,

"We were worried about you."

And he left.

Ed took a deep breath and stumbled to his bed. He climbed in and yawned.

"I'm not going to sleep _here_."

He put his hands above his face and looked at them as he pulled them away.

"Roy's not a cheat." He said aloud.

"And I'm nothing without Alchemy."

He laughed.

"Yea, that makes sense."

He suddenly heard metallic giggling from outside.

"Are you having fun eaves dropping Al?" He asked with a smirk.

Al opened the door slowly. Ed knew he would be smiling nervously if he could express himself.

Suddenly Hughes poked his head in the room as well. He was also in that stupid uniform.

"Having fun talking to yourself little buddy?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SUPER EXTRA CHIBI-FIED SPECK OF DUST ON

THE FLOOR THAT IS SO SMALL IT CAN ESCAPE BEING DUSTED UP BECAUSE

IT CAN FIT THROUGH THE TINY SPACES IN THE FEATHERS?"

In a split second he had stumbled over to Hughes and held him by the collar.

Hughes smiled and patted Ed's head.

"DON'T PAT ME LIKE SOME KIND OF KID!"

"Oh... are you still sore about being called small?"

He said with an extra glittery smile.

"Why not look at some of my daughter's pictures to help cheer you up?"

Just as Roy got off the phone, Hughes was flying across the room at full speed.

He then hit a wall and slowly slid down.

Roy walked up to the crumpled ball of flesh on the floor and laughed.

"Called him small again didn't you?"

Hughes cried comically and said in a sad voice, "Yesss!"

Roy laughed again. "That's what you get."

He shrugged and continued on to Ed's temporary room.

He knocked on the doorframe and leaned against it.

"Full Metal, I have received my orders."

"Bout time!" Ed said from the bed, with Alphonse at his side.

"So?"

Roy cleared his throat.

"Havoc, Hawkeye, Fuery, Armstrong, Hughes and I, have all been ordered to accompany you."

"To where?" Ed said with a pissy face.

"We've been ordered to protect you while in hiding."

"WHAT? HE EXPECTS ME TO HIDE? WHAT THE HELL? I CAN TAKE THEM ALL ON!" He boasted.

"Yes, I'm sure." Roy said with an unconvinced smile.

"Nonetheless we have our orders."

Ed crossed his arms and shook his head,

"I'm not doing it!"

Roy held his head in his hand and rubbed right above his eyes.

"That's not even the worst part, Full Metal."

Ed's eyes got large.

"Doesn't matter, I'm not doing it."

"Edward Elric, you are a State Alchemist, therefore you must follow the orders of superior

officers. Especially the orders of the Fuhrer."

Ed pouted.

"Looks like I have no choice." He said while gritting his teeth. "How bad does it get?"

Roy loosened his collar, fought of a smile and said,

"Alphonse cannot go with you, he must stay here. And…"

He paused.

"You have to disguise yourself as a…" He paused again.

"As a…"

He paused once more, took a deep breath and loosened his collar again.

"As a bride."

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING? I DON'T WANT TO PRETEND IM MARRIED!

ESPECIALLY NOT AS A GIRL! WHO AM I GOING TO BE A "BRIDE" TO?"

Suddenly, Havoc came up beside Roy and said while patting his chest,

"This guy right here."

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Lol. So how's that for a stopping point? Hehe. Well, so now you all know why it's called,

"Pretty little bride." Hehe. Well, I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3: One Perverted Colonel

Okay, just to clear something up, the end of the chapter before this was supposed to be like that. You're not supposed to know exactly who Ed has to pretend to be married to. It's all in the excitement and suspense! Hehe. Anyway, here's my next chapter!

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"WHAT?" Ed twitched and pointed his finger at Roy.

"I have to pretend to be married to HIM?" He twitched some more and steam came from his ears.

Havoc looked over at Roy and smirked.

"I'll leave you two to figure this out."

He started walking away with a jump in his step and sang:

"Edina Mustang, Edina Mustang, oh so short and oh so small. Edina Mustang, Edina Mustang, is the luckiest girl of them all."

Someone then tapped his shoulder. He turned around with that shit faced look of his and both Edward and the Colonel punched him.

He laid on the floor and watched "birdies" fly around his head.

"Birdies." He said comically. "Birdies!" As he reached up to try to touch one of the invisible visions going around his head.

Ed then limped over the semi-conscious Havoc and back into his room, still yelling at Roy.

"There's no way in hell I'm going to pretend to be a girl… much less YOUR WIFE!"

Ed then heard a quiet metallic giggling. He limped over to Alphonse and smiled a sadistic smile.

"Something funny… Al?"

"Umm… no Nii-san.. There's nothing …funny… at all." He said nervously.

"GOOD!"

He then limped over to the Colonel and put a finger to his head.

"There's no way in HELL!"

Roy closed his eyes and said with a tinge of anger.

"You know, this wasn't exactly my cup of tea either."

Riza then appeared on the scene.

"Colonel"

Roy turned around.

"Yes Lieutenant?"

Riza was holding up a rather revealing article of clothing.

She closed her eyes and twitched.

"I am not wearing this."

The rest of the men in the room whistled and howled at Riza.

She then pulled out her gun and shot a couple rounds leaving imprints of their bodies on the walls. Everything was quiet.

Roy then yelled, "Get back to work!" And the hustle and bustle of the office returned. Ed pulled on Roy's uniform and pointed at

Riza's "outfit".

"I don't have to wear something like that, DO I?"

Roy then visualized Edward in it. A see-through white shirt tied up above his belly. Then, a very high black miniskirt that shows off

a red thong underneath.

Roy then got a nosebleed.

He smiled and began sparkling as all the other men in the facility were visualizing Riza in the outfit.

He rubbed his chin.

"I don't know, we may have to discuss that."

Ed grabbed his collar and pulled him down to his level.

"There will be no discussions about it Colonel! I won't wear something like that!"

"And I won't either." Riza said while handing it to Roy.

Roy comically cried. "There goes my dream."

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"Stupid Colonel!" Edward mumbled under his breath. "I can't believe this!" He threw a suitcase onto his bed and began packing up

his things.

"But Nii-san… it _is _an order."

"Yea… but…"

He plopped down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Who knows what he might do?"

Alphonse got up and started punching at the air.

"I wish I could go! Then I could kick his butt every time he tried something!"

Edward knew that if Al could express himself, he would be trying to look as scary as he could.

"Al?"

Al stopped punching the air and stood over Edward.

"Yes, Nii-san?"

Ed cleared his throat.

"Will … you be okay?"

Alphonse couldn't smile, but if he could, he would have, very big.

"Yes Nii-san… I'll be fine."

"Good."

Ed then got up and continued to pack his things. He couldn't get everything to fit in the suitcase so he was constantly pulling things

out and putting them back in. He paused for a second and looked around him. They were in that same white room. The floor was

white, the ceiling was white, the door was white and the sheets were white. Even the lamp over to the side of him was white. Also the

night stand the lamp was on was white.

"So… sterile." He thought.

"So… boring."

He continued to pack his things. He pulled out his State Alchemist watch and stared at it. "I guess I have to leave this here." He

placed it on the bed and continued to put his things away. He didn't have much. A couple books he liked, a few tools for auto mail

tune ups, some boxers, his red overcoat, socks, a white shirt, a black shirt, and extra gloves. But, his suitcase was so small, most of

it wouldn't fit. Finally, when he got it all in, he sat on the suitcase to keep it from popping open.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Yes, it's open, what do you want?" Ed said in an annoyed tone.

It was Riza.

"Oh, Ri- I mean, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

He walked over to her and stood straight.

Riza looked down. "I brought you some… appropriate clothes."

"Huh?"

"Remember? You have to dress up as a girl. I have a few clothes that aren't that girly and aren't any where's near as inappropriate

as what the Colonel suggests you wear."

Ed took the clothes from Riza and looked them over. She was right. The girliest thing there was a purple V-neck shirt.

"Thanks!" Ed yelled.

"I thought you might like them. They should all be in your size."

Al thought for a minute.

"You used to be short?" He asked.

"WHAT?" Ed yelled from across the room.

"Nothing Nii-san!"

Ed then turned back to Riza. She was smiling. She was really pretty when she smiled.

Ed smiled back and said, "You should do that more often!"

"Huh? What?"

"Smile!"

He then blushed when he realized what he had just said. Riza laughed a bit and started out the door. "Thanks." She said, and

walked on.

Ed then closed the door and threw the clothes on the bed.

He then grabbed the suitcase and popped it open, everything went flying. A pair of boxer shorts fell onto his head and he looked at

Al through one of the openings for the legs.

Then, with an annoyed tone in his voice he yelled, "Time to repack!"

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Sorry for such short chapters lately, I have an exit exam to study for. :) Hope you all understand! And btw, thanks for all the nice comments! I LOVE YOU ALL:)


	4. Chapter 4: Playing Dressup

Wow, I'm so happy so many people seem to like this. It was just an idea that kinda popped

into my head. Forgive me if the story is confusing, but I'm just kind of writing what

comes into my head. I'll make sure everything gets explained though. Anyway, enjoy:

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Roy sighed.

"This is going to be the most interesting assignment I have ever received."

"YES INDEED IT WILL, FRIEND!"

Roy put his head down and banged it on his desk. He laid his hands face down and started

tapping them.

"Why so glum, chum?" Hughes said with a genuine concern for his friend.

"That kid…."

Suddenly Hughes' eyes got big and he covered Roy's mouth.

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT!"

He looked around nervously.

"He could be listening."

Roy raised an eyebrow.

"So now you're afraid of him?"

Hughes put his hand behind his head and smiled nervously.

"Sorta…."

Roy sighed again. He put his feet on his desk and began cracking his knuckles.

"What?" Hughes asked.

"It's just… this is an awfully strange assignment… but…"

He paused.

"These are awfully strange people…"

Hughes nodded.

"So it is the "Red Claw"

Roy nodded once and twisted his chair around toward the window.

"One thing bothers me though."

"What?" Hughes came up behind the Colonel's chair and leaned on it.

"Nothing…"

Hughes twisted the chair around and grabbed Roy's cheeks and pinched them.

"Oh come on! Tell your old pal!"

Roy swatted his hands away and sighed.

"You know they're Alchemists, right?"

"Yea."

"Well, I was thinking…"

He paused.

"Why do they want to kill Ed?"

Hughes began thinking about it.

His eyes became large and he turned around.

"I don't know, but now that you've pointed that out, it doesn't look all that good."

"You've got a theory?" Roy questioned.

"Yea…"

"Tell me…"

"Well, you've heard about them experimenting on other Alchemists, right?"

Roy's eyes got big.

"What if they don't want to kill him, I mean, he does has a great deal of potential."

"You think they want to use him?" Roy asked, with concern in his voice.

"It's possible." Hughes folded his arms and sighed.

Roy stared out the window and bowed his head in anguish.

"I've seen what they do them in there and so have you. We have to keep Edward away from them."

Hughes nodded his head.

"Agreed."

"This is gonna be one tough situation." Hughes said, with a dark tone. He started walking to the door. Roy

stared at his window and sighed.

Suddenly Hughes came up behind him and yelled, "Boo!"

Roy smiled. "Didn't scare me."

"Aww.." Hughes pouted.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"It's just…"

He paused and sighed.

"Don't worry; I doubt they even remember you."

Roy sighed and bowed his head.

"I know they do."

"Huh?" Hughes questioned.

"Nothing. We should get back to work."

Hughes nodded and stretched.

"It'll be nice to take a vacation for a while."

Roy smiled. "A vacation… yea, it'll be nice."

Ж

Edward stepped out of his room in purple pants and a white shirt. Also, with an EXTRA PADDED bra. Alphonse

laughed. Edward blushed and growled.

"Shut up Al!"

He laughed some more. He struggled to get around in the high-heels he was wearing. "This is so

humiliating." Edward tried walking towards Alphonse and when Alphonse moved,

everyone in the office was staring at Edward. He blushed and rushed to get back to his

room. Suddenly, Riza pushed her way through

the crowd holding a pair of tennis shoes. "Not even _I _know how to wear high-heels." She

rolled her eyes and sighed. She then noticed that Ed's "boobs" were off to the side. She

fixed them without saying anything, stood back and put her hand on her chin.

"Take your hair down."

"What?"

"Take your hair down, that's an order."

Ed mumbled something about stupid Lieutenants and stupid orders as he untied his hair

and pulled out the braid. Riza began messing with his hair. She tucked one side behind his

ear and left the other side over his eye. She pulled out a hair pin and put it on the hair she

pulled behind his ear. Edward put his hands on his hips and blushed.

"This is so humiliating."

Riza fought off a smile and said,

"This isn't even the worst part."

"That's the second time today someone's said that to me."

Edward pointed out.

"Well, it's true."

"Okay, how bad does it get?"

She began to laugh a little and said,

"You and the Colonel have to pretend to be newlyweds."

Ed's jaw dropped, and all went silent.

Just as Roy got off the phone, Edward crashed open the door to his office and declared.

"I am not kissing you!"

Roy stared at Ed. He blinked a couple times and got evil.

"Umm… can I help you Miss?"

Ed stormed over to Roy's desk and slammed his hands down on it.

"Shut up!"

He then stormed out and slammed the door.

Roy was left in dead silence.

"What the hell was that all about?"

Ж

Ж

Ж

Wow, there's a lot of unexplained things going on here. Hmm.. I wonder what's going on.

Hehe. Oh and please Review, any suggestions or ideas help. Any **NICE** C+C is

appreciated. Hehe. Oh and once again, I'm sorry for such short chapters, but I have an exit

exam coming up soon. **AND** today I learned that I have a **7 page essay** due this **Friday**, on

_some dead white guy_, so yea, I may not be writing very long chapters. Hehe. Hope you all

understand.

.Choco.


	5. Chapter 5: Playing the Part

PLEASE READ:

Well, I found some extra time and decided to write a chapter for you guys. But only you nice people, not the stupid flamers who keep e-mailing me. Now, I'm going to refrain from blowing up at you jerks and just point to the top and bottom of each of my chapters. They're called, "Author's Notes!" READ 'EM! They might explain why the chapters are so short. And umm, if you don't like Roy and Ed being gay, then don't read. I put RoyXEd on the description for a reason. Okay, now that we have that established. Please enjoy this next chapter:

Ж

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Ж

Havoc smoked a cigarette and stared his fellow officers. All of them except him and Roy

were in civilian clothes.

They were all practicing not calling each other by their ranks in the "courtyard". Roy went

by Riza and gave her a devilish smile.

"So, I get to call you Riza now."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, sir."

He laughed and announced,

"This is going to be fun."

"Except, Roy…" Havoc began.

"You can't hit on Riza, because you're married."

He threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.

"You have to be faithful, remember?"

He smiled cleverly and put a tooth pick in his mouth. Roy glared at him. Havoc shrugged

and smirked,

"Just telling the truth, Roy." He started giggling and walked away with a huge smile on his face.

Roy fell backward onto the grass.

"This is gonna suck."

"GET AWAY!" A voice yelled from the other side of the courtyard. It was Edward in a

dress. He was running away from Hughes.

"Oh come on! Let me put your hair in pigtails! Sweet little Edina!"

Roy smiled and said, "5…4…3…2…-"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC BACTERIA THAT IS SO

ITTY BITTY TEENY TINY IT CAN GET AWAY FROM EVEN THE TEENIEST

TINIEST MEDICINES BECAUSE IT PASSES RIGHT THROUGH THEM?"

Everyone watched in terror as Hughes started running away from Edward instead.

When Edward finally became too tired to chase after him anymore and stripped off the

dress. Under it, he had on a white tank top and black pants. He threw the dress on the

ground and stomped on it. He then put his hands to his mouth and announced,

"IF ANYONE ELSE TRIES TO GET ME TO WEAR A DRESS, THEY'RE GONNA DIE!"

And with that, he went back inside.

Roy walked over to Hughes, who was wearing his normal purple shirt. Roy knelt down and

poked the crumpled ball of flesh.

"You are a sick man."

Hughes laughed and untangled himself. He jumped up, dusted himself off and shook

around a little.

"But I thought it would look so cute! He could look just like Elysia!"

Hughes then produced a picture of his beautiful daughter in pigtails and the exact same

dress.

"Isn't she cute?"

"Yes, Hughes, for the millionth time, she's just peachy."

Hughes then began to "hug" the picture and nuzzled on it.

"Oh, I love my Elysia!"

"Yes, I know."

Roy said and walked back to the others. He sat down and watched them all make idiots of

themselves trying to act like normal people. Suddenly, Farman yelled out to Roy and said,

"The Fuhrer is on the phone!"

Roy slowly walked in, dreading what the Fuhrer had planned for him this time.

Ж

Ed sighed and kicked up a couple rocks that were on the ground.

"This is so stupid."

He leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky.

"Someone wants to kill me."

Suddenly, the wind picked up and a cloud went over the sun. The cloud seemed to turn red.

Ed put his hand over his eyes so he could see clearly. But, before he could get a good view,

the cloud had moved. His hair flew around his face and he felt a bit cold. He held his

shoulders and slid down along the wall onto the ground.

"Cold, Full Metal?" A voice taunted from in front of him.

"What do you want?" Ed yelled.

"I've got new details about our assignment." Roy stated.

"Great." Ed said with sarcasm.

"Do we have to be lesbians now?"

He said with a growl in his voice. Roy laughed.

"No…fortunately, you're the only one who has to pretend to be a member of their

opposite sex."

Ed hugged his legs to his chest and put his head on his knees.

"That's wonderful."

Roy sat down beside him.

"So don't you want to know?"

"Sure."

Ed mumbled.

"Well, it appears as though we have to go to the mountains and live there for a while."

Ed smiled.

"That's not so bad, real earth, real ground."

He picked his head up.

"Sounds great."

"You won't like this next part."

"I'm sure I won't, the fact we're going to the mountains seems to be the only good thing

about this assignment."

He put his head back down.

"He looks really depressed." Roy thought.

Roy sighed and continued,

"Apparently, it would be too suspicious if so many people went up there at once,

so, Armstrong and Fuery will not be joining us."

Ed pulled his legs closer to him and his hair flew around his face.

"Joyous. Just you, me, Havoc and Hawkeye are going then."

"Don't forget Hughes."

Roy said with a smile.

"Oh, who could forget HIM?"

Ed growled.

He shivered as the wind picked up some more.

Roy stood up, took off the upper part of his uniform and put it around Edward. Ed looked

up at Roy with confusion.

"Well, I am a gentleman after all, and you're a lady."

Ed threw the jacket back at Roy and hid his head. Roy then tenderly put the jacket back

around him and said,

"Sorry."

"Huh?"

Ed questioned.

Roy sat back down beside Edward, sighed and said,

"I've been teasing you too much, haven't I?"

Ed remained silent. He pulled the jacket tighter around him and felt the warmth that Roy

had put into it. It smelled like Roy too. Every time he breathed in, it felt like he was

floating.

"Dammit"

He thought.

"Hey!"

Roy said and poked Ed.

"Don't worry about it; I'm not some sensitive little kid."

Ed said and got up. He handed the jacket back to Roy and started walking away. Roy smiled

a defeated smile and shook his head.

"To have feelings, doesn't mean you're a kid..."

He then put his jacket back on and walked the other way.

He sighed.

"He'll always dislike me."

"And that is pretty much my fault." He laughed at himself.

"I can't have a conversation with him without making fun of him in some way."

He sighed.

"What a jerk I am."

He bowed his head.

"What a jerk…"

Ж

"What a jerk!" Ed yelled and threw a rock into the fountain. He sat on the side of it and

looked at hisreflection.

"That guy lives to make my life miserable."

He smiled and threw another rock in as he said,

"But he's still not a cheat."

"Nii-san?"

A familiar voice questioned.

"Hey Al."

Ed said with a depressed tone.

"What's been bothering you Nii-san?"

Al said and sat down at the fountain beside Ed.

Ed threw another rock in and yelled,

"This stupid assignment, those stupid killers, and that stupid man!"

He got up, walked over to a patch of grass and fell down in it. He grabbed a fox tail and put

it in his mouth. Al laughed and sat beside him.

"You can't do that when you get up there you know…"

"Do what?" Ed asked.

"Lash out, yell, and you especially can't put foxtails in your mouth."

Al giggled.

"Are you making fun of me now?"

Ed asked, sadly.

Al had then realized that he had hurt his brother's feelings and quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry."

He said and got up.

"I'll leave you alone."

Ed listened until the familiar metallic stomp disappeared.

He took the foxtail out of his mouth and got up. He stretched and yawned.

"Time to learn how to be a lady!"

Ж

Ж

Ж

Okay, I tried to make it as long as I had time for but I just have to get my essay done. I might not be updating for a couple days. (2 days MAX) So yea, just to let you know. Also the exit exam is next week. So I'll be out a couple days next week. But don't worry, I mean it when I say, 2 days MAX. :) Hope you all understand. And btw, thanks for all the nice comments. I'm so glad so many people like this fic. hehe. Thanks again.


	6. Chapter 6: Women

Okay, I got bored with writing about a dead white guy so I decided to write about the hottest of the hottest, ROY!

Roy: Yes, thank you, thank you. I know I am by far the hottest bishie in the entire world Yes, thank you, thank you.

Suddenly, bishies from a bunch of other animes show up and kick the crap out of Roy. lolSorry, Random thought. Anyway, heres my next demented chapter. MUWAHAHA:)

Enjoy:

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Ж

Ed tapped his foot as the phone rang into his ear.

"Would she pick up already?"

He exclaimed, annoyed.

Finally, after a few minutes, a familiar voice spoke quietly into the speaker of the phone.

"Rockbell residence, home of the great auto-mail maker, Winry Rockbell! How may I help

you?"

Ed rolled his eyes and began to speak.

"Winry?"

"Ed?"

"Oh no, here it comes." He thought.

"Where the hell have you been? Do you know how long it's been since you called? You

have some nerve waiting so long to call. I've been worried sick! Do you know that?"

Ed sighed. "Yes, I know Winry."

"Well, then why don't you make me **not **worry, and call more often?"

"Because I don't have the time. Listen, Winry."

Winry heard a bit of fear and sadness in Ed's voice.

"Is everything… alright?" She asked, with concern.

Ed sighed.

"No."

"Well, what's going on? Is Al alright? Are you alright?"

"Al is fine, and I can't tell-"

"_You can't tell me what's going on_." Winry finished his sentence.

"Well, then, I supposed you need repairs on **MY** auto mail?"

"No."

"Well, then why did you call?"

Ed sighed and whispered,

"I need you to help me be a woman."

"**WHAT**?"

Ж

Ed hung up the phone and sat down.

"Oi…"

"What's wrong little buddy?"

Hughes asked as he popped his head out from behind a desk.

"**YOU WANNA DIE**?"

Ed yelled and made a fist. Hughes quickly shook his head and smiled.

"So, what's going on?"

He asked as he sat next to Ed on the red cushion seat.

"This is so stupid."

"What?"

"The whole thing."

"Ahh…" Hughes said in an understanding voice.

"I mean, she thought I was going gay!"

Hughes fought of a smile and tried to keep calm.

"Yes." Ed said with humiliation. "You can laugh."

And Hughes then rolled on the floor like a dog, holding his stomach and laughing like an

idiot. Ed sighed. He imitated Winry and said,

"Edward! I'm worried about you! What man is forcing you to be a woman for him? Tell

me his name and I'll kill him. Its not that I have anything against you going gay, you just

shouldn't have to dress up as a woman for him! Tell him you don't need him! Yes, that'll

do it! Just dump his ass"

Hughes continued laughing as he rolled on the floor. Ed got up and continued to imitate

Winry by putting a hand on his hip and pretending he was holding a wrench. He flung it

around as he said,

"Why do you wait so long to call? I worry so much about you. You could be dead for all I

know! And you never tell me anything so I don't even know if you're in danger or

anything. And how about you only calling me when you need something? You only call

when you need me to repair

**MY** auto mail. I mean, you call up, have me come to the city, and I find you roughed up so

bad. And you won't even tell me why or how. I mean, I worry so much. And not to

mention I should know what you've been doing to **MY** auto mail. I mean, that stuff costs

money you know. Do you work? Can you pay for it? **No**. I work; I buy the parts and all the

metals to make auto mail. That's a lot of money. But do you care? No. You go around and

break it once every couple of weeks! Auto mail is meant to be loved, not tortured and

killed. Take care of**MY** auto mail! You hear me?"

Ed took a deep breath and started dancing around like a crazed fan girl. He squealed like

Winry and said,

"Oh my gosh! I just thought of something! If you're gay, then you'd be interested this

wonderful guy who lives across town. He's so sweet. He cooks, so you wouldn't have to,

and he loves dogs. Oh, I just know you two would beperfect together! I can hear the

wedding bells now!"

Hughes' voice had long since died of laughter and he was walking over to get a drink of

water. All the while, laughing as hard as he could.

When he came back, he sat down next to Edward.

"Ed, you don't need her to come down here."

"Huh?"

"You got it all down."

He giggled and took another sip of his water.

"What do you mean?"

"Just act like her."

"Hmm…"

Ed put his hand on his chin and rubbed it.

"That's not a bad idea."

He suddenly got up and went to the phone. He took a deep breath as he dialed her number

for the second time that day.

Ж

Ed hung up the phone and sighed.

"She's coming anyway."

Hughes laughed and put his arms behind his head.

"She's a perfect role model."

Ed sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Dammit! What am I gonna do? She's gonna find out about everything."

Hughes looked over at Edward and asked with curiosity,

"Why don't you just tell her yourself?"

Ed sighed.

"No reason."

"Liar."

Ed closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He then whispered,

"You can't laugh."

"I swear."

"Really?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

Ed took a deep breath and crossed his arms.

"I just don't want her to be involved."

He paused.

"I mean, what she thinks happens, is no where's near as dangerous as what **does **happen."

Hughes nodded his head.

"I understand."

Ed looked over at Hughes.

"Really?"

"Yea."

"How?"

Hughes took a deep breath.

"Well…"

He paused.

"**You **can't laugh _this _time."

"I swear."

"Alright."

He paused and sighed.

"Well… sometimes I don't like to tell me wife what goes on around here, yano?"

He closed his eyes.

"She gets all worried and concerned if she ever thinks I'm in danger. And it's the same

way."

"Huh?" Edward questioned.

"She always assumes about less dangerous things."

Ed bowed his head and sighed.

"Women are confusing." Ed declared.

Hughes smiled and patted Ed's shoulder.

"Yes, they are."

Suddenly, Roy walked in.

"What this I hear about women being confusing?"

Ed sulked in a pit of black and growled at Roy.

"Oh, we were just talking about how Gracia gets when I snore at night."

Hughes covered.

"Really?"

Roy questioned, unconvinced.

"Yep. Right little buddy?"

He nudged Ed.

Ed ignored Hughes and got up.

He then sighed and without turning around said,

"Colonel, my friend, Winry Rockbell, is coming to see me tomorrow. Don't mess with me

then. And certainly don't mess with her."

And with that, Edward stormed off.

"I think he's mad at you." Hughes said with a nervous smile.

"I guess so." Roy said sadly.

Hughes got very close to Roy.

"Something tells me, you don't like that."

Roy ignored him.

"Hmm…" Hughes then began pondering something.

He then looked like he got an idea. He stepped away from the Colonel and took a deep breath.

"Oh no Colonel! I have a lie detector with me!"

Hughes said comically and pulled out a calculator.

"Now, tell the pretty device all about your horrible hatred for Ed and we'll see if it's true or not."

He put it right under Roy's mouth and said,

"Come on, prove your hatred!"

Roy swatted the Calculator away and stared at Hughes.

"Come here Hughes, I want 'ta tell you a secret." Roy said and motioned for Hughes to

come closer so he could whisper something in his ear.

Hughes did so and smiled.

Roy then whispered,

"So, you want to know a secret?"

"Yea, tell me the secret!" Hughes pleaded.

"Alright, but, you can't tell ANYBODY. And I mean that."

"Yes, yes. I know. I won't tell anyone."

"Alright… well… the secret is."

He paused.

"You're an idiot."

"Why?" Hughes asked, tauntingly.

"Is it because you _like _Ed?"

"No its, cuz you're an idiot."

"Whatever." Hughes said, and walked away.

"I don't like Edward." Roy thought.

"Do I?"

Ж

Ж

Ж

Okay, I originally had it stop with just, "You're an idiot." But I thought that was mean to

poor Hughes so I changed it. hehe. Anyway, I am sitting here eating strawberries and my

keyboard is all red with strawberry juice. Its kinda funny. I'll have to clean it off before I get

in trouble. lol. Well, okay, apparently, I might not even be gone for more than a day.

Soyea, I thought that would make everyone happy. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter.

And please Review. I don't care if I already have chapter 14 up, I still want you to review.

lol. It helps, believe it or not. So yea. Thanks for listening to my ramble and wish me luck

with my essay :) Byes!


	7. Chapter 7: Red Sky

Okay, here we go. Another chapter of my evil demented story where I make Ed dress up as a girl! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAAH! Anyway, This was a fun chapter. Got my heart pumping. Well, I hope you enjoy it:)

Oh yea, and someone suggested I do this:

Disclaimer: I DO Not own Ed or Roy or any of the Full Metal Alchemist characters or anything. I am not that guy with the amazing talent. Or was it a chick? Anyway, I don't own them. So yea. Don't sue the poor little freak. lol.

Ж

Ж

Ж

Alphonse sighed.

"Nii-san certainly doesn't want to do this. Maybe we should just… go into hiding

_ourselves._"

He caught a leaf that was flying with the wind and tore it in half. He sighed. He kicked a

couple stones on the ground and sat in the grass. He looked up at the sky. It looked very

ugly.

"Its going to rain again soon." He thought.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice calling him name.

"Al!"

"Yes Nii-san?" Al called back.

"Winry is coming tomorrow."

"Winry? Really? That's so cool!"

Alphonse yelled and began dancing around. Which was a pretty funny thing to see since he

was in that giant armor. Ed couldn't help but giggle a bit.

Ed sighed.

"This whole thing is so stupid." He thought.

"I have to be alone with that guy. I mean, why can't Al go?"

He sat down in the grass next to Al.

"Hey, Al."

"Yes Nii-san?"

"I'm sorry you can't go."

"Hehe, that's okay. Just have tons of fun and tell me all about it when you get back."

"Yea."

They looked at the sky together.

"Hey Al."

"Yes Nii-san?"

Ed pointed to the sky.

"Doesn't that cloud look like the Colonel with rabbit ears?"

Al looked at it and laughed.

"Yea, it does."

He continued to giggle.

Al then pointed to the sky and said,

"That one looks like you and the Colonel, only you're taller than he is."

Ed smiled.

"Now if only that cloud version of me would turn around and squish that Colonel, I'd be

satisfied."

Al giggled.

"You really don't like him, do you?"

Ed sighed.

"Its not that I don't like him. I mean, sure he's fun to talk to, when he's not being a jerk."

He sat up and sighed.

"It's just... I don't know. He bothers me so much."

"Well, maybe he's doing it on purpose."

"What do you mean?"

Ed laid back down and stared at the sky once more.

"What I mean is, what if he likes you?" Al giggled

"You're sick." Ed whispered, annoyed.

Al continued to giggle.

"You don't seem like you'd mind all that much."

Ed got up.

"Oh yes I WOULD mind! I don't like that guy! He's a big fat ugly **useless** COLONEL!"

He yelled at the top his lungs.

Al giggled again.

"Well, maybe that's why he doesn't want me to go."

Ed scratched his head and stared at Al.

"You really think so?"

Al laughed.

"You really think I'd let him do anything to you?"

Ed stretched and yawned.

"I guess not."

Al giggled.

"He's afraid of me."

Al got up and got into an attack stance.

"Hey Nii-san."

"Yea?"

"You be the Colonel, and I'll be you"

Ed laughed and nodded his head.

He then got into an attack stance as well and imitated Roy by saying,

"I'll smash you like a bug you chibi!"

"Hey! Don't call me small you big stupid idiotic Colonel!" Al yelled back.

"Don't call me ugly." Ed started messing with his hair and imitated the Colonel some

more.

"I'm much too beautiful to be called ugly."

He sighed.

"Oh, the poor women of this world! They can't handle my perfect beauty! They shall faint

at the mere sight of me. Oh what a horrible curse. No woman can dare look upon me

for too long. For they will fall in love with me."

Al laughed.

"I think you went a bit too far Nii-san."

Ed put his hand behind his head and laughed.

"Yea I guess so."

"Hey Al."

"Yes, Nii-san?"

I'll be right back."

"Alright Nii-san." Alphonse sat down against the wall and started making transmutation

circles in the sand.

When Edward finally got to the door, he gulped. He didn't like the Colonel, but he wanted

to talk to him. He stared at the big oak door. He studied the design and the brass door knob.

He wanted to turn it, but then he didn't want to. He couldn't make up his mind.

He got a big closer and could heard loud yelling inside.

"What!"

He heard Roy yell. He sounded a bit scared.

"Yes sir, Yes sir… I understand. Yes. Goodbye."

Suddenly, he heard running and the door crashed open. Roy saw Ed standing there and

thought about being evil, but there was no time.

"Full Metal…"

He said quickly.

"We have to leave, now."

"What?"

Ed asked, confused.

"Now."

"But Winry is coming tomorrow, do you know how mad she'll be at me if I'm not here?"

Roy put a hand on Edward's shoulder, looked into his eyes and said,

"They're coming Edward."

"What?"

"No time to explain."

Roy picked up Edward and started walking very fast.

"We have to get you out of here."

"Hey! Put me down!"

Edward yelled and kicked around.

"Just because I'm shorter than you doesn't mean you get to pick me up all the time."

Edward continued to kick and scream and the Colonel.

"Hey wait a minute, what about Al and Winry? What about them?"

He yelled into the Colonel's ear.

Roy finally put Ed down in a hallway and stared at him.

He grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Do you not understand what is going on Full Metal?"

Roy looked kind of scared. It left a sick feeling in Ed's stomach. If Roy was afraid, this was

bad. Ed swatted Roy's hands away and yelled at him,

"What about Al and Winry?"

Roy took a deep breath.

"Al is going with Armstrong to East city."

"And Winry?"

"When she gets here, Fuery, Breda, and Farman will accompany her there as well."

Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

Roy yelled.

"Okay!"

Ed yelled back.

"Then lets get going!"

He and the Colonel started running through the offices telling everyone to clear out or get

ready. So many people were running around, gathering things and bumping into

each other. It was chaos. Suddenly, a man in uniform came up to the Colonel and said,

"There are more men in the halls."

Roy nodded his head.

"Lets split up." Ed suggested.

"Alright, we'll meet in the courtyard in twenty minutes."

"Right." Edward nodded his head and went straight to the courtyard.

He couldn't find Al.

"Al?"

He yelled.

"Al?"

Suddenly, he heard a very loud boom and, in the distance, a small portion of the sky turned

red.

"What the?" Ed stood there with his eyes wide open.

Suddenly, Roy came up from behind and picked him up.

"Wait a minute! I need to find Al! Let me go!"

"Al is with Armstrong. He's safe"

"But I wanna see him! Al!" He yelled.

Suddenly, there was another loud boom and the redness of the sky expanded.

"Shit." The Colonel cussed.

"What is that?"

"The people after you."

Two more loud booms went off and the red sky covered part of headquarters.

"Shit!" The Colonel yelled.

Suddenly, two cars screeched up. Havoc was driving one. "Get in!"

"But… Al!"

"Al is safe!" Roy yelled.

"But I want to see him!" He kicked and yelled.

"I want to say goodbye!"

Roy opened the back door and attempted to throw Ed in, but he ran off.

"Shit." The Colonel said again.

"Havoc."

"Yes sir."

"Get everyone who's leaving, out of here."

"But sir."

" Ill catch Ed myself."

Roy took off the upper part of his uniform, revealing the cream colored shirt underneath.

"Wish me luck, Havoc."

"Good luck sir!"

Roy then began running in the direction Ed had just run.

"That stupid kid!" He thought, angrily.

Suddenly, there was another loud boom and the entire headquarters shook.

"This is not good."

"FULL METAL!" He yelled.

"Where are you Edward?"

Ж

" AL!" Ed called.

" AL!" He ran through the whole building searching for his brother, but he just could not

find him. He sighed.

"Is he already gone?"

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.

"NII-SAN!"

Ed turned around just to be pounced by a giant suit of armor.

"I'm happy to see you too."

Ed said and pushed Al off of him.

"What's going on Nii-san?" Al asked with concern.

"I'm not sure, but we have to get out of here."

Suddenly, Armstrong appeared behind Al.

"Time for us to leave little Elric!"

Ed stared at Al. "He IS talking to you, right?"

"Umm… Yea." Al said nervously.

"Alright."

Ed put his hand out.

"I'll see you soon, little brother."

Al put his hand over Ed's and shook it.

"I'll see you soon, Nii-san."

They then took off in different directions.

Edward looked behind him at Al and Armstrong running away, quite fast.

"Be safe Al." He whispered.

Suddenly, he bumped into something hard and fell backward.

A hand went in front of his face and he looked up.

"Come on Full Metal." Roy said.

Ed nodded his head and grabbed for Roy's hand. Suddenly, there was another loud boom

and the whole building seemed to shake right down to its foundation.

"They're right on top of us." Roy whispered.

Roy then picked up Edward and started running as fast as he could.

"Don't yell at me this time Full Metal."

He paused.

"They'll hear you."

Ж

Ж

Ж

Wow… talk about… adrenaline.. sheesh… I was typing this thing so fast my whole desk was shaking. Lol. Well, I decided the story was dragging so I got them to move their

arses! Wow, scary. Red sky… hmm… does anyone remember that from an earlier chapter? I wonder… lol. Shame on me… I'm ruining things! Lol. Oh well. Anyway, I know

theres not tons of detail in this and that's because I was on a roll. I was having so much fun typing up all the fun stuff that I couldn't stop. Lol. Yes, call me crazy. Anyway, I

got a B on my essay and Im quite proud of that. So yea. My mom bought me cookies for it, so I'm happy. Hehe. Anyway, my exit exam is next Wednesday and my mother's

birthday is next week too, so I might not be updating quite as fast. (I know, I say that, and yet, I continue to do so. Lol) Anyway, thanks for all the nice comments and such.

It really means a lot to me. :) Well, I hope you liked this chapter, and if you didn't, tell me why. (But NICELY) Anyway, thanks again. Tata.


	8. Chapter 8: The Escape

Okay, I got even more bored and decided to spoil you guys. Hehe. Don't you just love me?

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or Roy, or Ed or anything that has to do with it. I'm just borrowing them and making them shag each other! MUWAHAHAHAH! Lol

Alright, on with the story:

Ж

Ж

Ж

Roy slowed his pace a bit and set Edward down.

"What's going on Colonel?" Ed whispered.

Roy ignored him and started tiptoeing to the exit. Ed wasn't moving so he grabbed him by

the fabric on his shoulder and pulled him in front.

He put one of his hands on Ed's shoulder and the other one in front of him, in the gesture

of a snap. If anyone showed up, he would protect

Edward. No matter what. He started pushing Ed forward and they slowly walked to the

door. Ed's heart was pounding and the only thing in his

mind was the feral instinct of self survival. Suddenly, there a noise to the side of them and

Roy pulled Ed down under a desk. He stood up and continued to point his ready fingers in

the general direction of the sound. His heart pumpedand small beads of sweat went down

his face. He breathed quietly, slowly, but big breaths. He was scared and Ed knew it. Ed

was scared too, but he's never admit that. Then, a door opened and Roy snapped his fingers

just as a figure jumped out of the way, completely scorching the door and all its

surroundings. The figure popped his head up from behind a desk and growled,

"Jesus Colonel, I don't want to be Barbequed today!"

It was Havoc. Roy let out a sigh of relief and put his hand down.

"Wait, I thought I ordered you to leave."

Havoc smiled.

"Like I'd leave you here."

Roy nodded his head.

Havoc stood up and straightened himself out,

"Where's the kid?"

Roy knelt down and poked his head under the desk. Ed wasn't there.

"What?"

"He's not there?" Havoc questioned.

"Shit!" Roy yelled.

"Over here." A quiet voice called from behind Havoc.

"Whoa." Havoc jumped a little.

Roy walked over to him.

"What were you doing over there?"

Ed smiled.

"Whoever it was, I was gonna sneak up on 'im!"

Roy nodded his head and put his hand on his chin.

"Not bad."

"Umm…" Havoc began. "I hate to break this lovely thing up, but, we gotta get outta here."

Roy nodded his head and rushed over to Edward. Ed put his hands up and said,

"You're not picking me up this time, I can frickin walk all by myself!"

Roy smiled.

"I know you can, but I run faster than you."

Roy then picked Edward up and Ed pouted.

"You're a big fat, ugly, stupid, idiotic, useless, Colonel." He whispered.

Roy smiled. "So I've been told."

They went out the back and there stood Hughes and Riza, waiting for them.

"You got everything?" Havoc asked Riza.

Riza nodded her head and motioned for them to sneak out quietly. She held her gun in her

hands and her happy trigger finger rested to the

side of the gun.

Roy busted open the back door and they rushed out to the black car. The entire sky was red

and the wind was blowing very hard. Havoc ran to the car ahead of Roy and the others. He

started it up and Hughes helped them out as Riza covered them. Trees fell down and leaves

and debris flew all over the place. It was like a tornado only with a dark red sky. Suddenly,

the ground started to shake and Roy threw Ed into the

back seat. Hughes sat in the passenger seat, beside Havoc, with Riza following behind. She

sat beside Ed and Roy sat on the other side. The car shook and Havoc started driving, but

slowly. They bumped along as all kinds of debris hit the little car and made loud smashing

sounds. Roy made Edward put his head in his lap, to keep him from being seen.

"As if they could see me through all this anyway."

Roy stared at Ed.

"Do you think they would do this id they didn't have a way of seeing through it?"

Ed thought about that for a moment and pouted. He could see out Riza's window on the

other side of the car. He watched the dust fly around and the sky started to darken.

"Hawkeye."

"Yes sir?"

"Did you order Fuery, Breda and Farman out?"

"Yes I did, sir."

"Good."

"Wait a minute!" Ed got up.

"What about Winry?"

Riza sighed.

"I ordered one of them to meet her at the train station."

Ed stared at Riza.

"That's… surprising."

"Not really." Hughes stated.

"If they're after you, they'll go after anyone to get to you. She could be in danger so they'll

protect her."

"WHAT?" Ed yelled.

"They know about her?"

"Hughes didn't say that." Roy pointed out.

Havoc put a cigarette in his mouth and said,

"But even if they do, she'll be safe in East city."

Ed pouted as they slowly bumped over the exit.

As soon as they were clear of the red wind, Havoc sped off.

"Oh." Hughes said.

"I got something for ya."

He tossed a black jacket to Ed. He looked Hughes who winked and put up his thumb in a

positive gesture.

"It's a girl's jacket, but it kinda looks like a guy's jacket. You can try it on when we get there."

"Thanks a lot."

"Don't thank me, thank Gracia, she picked it out for you."

Ed smiled.

"When we get back I will."

Roy looked behind them to see a giant wall of red dust, but no headquarters.

Ed sat on his knees and looked also. "What happened to it?"

"Its there." Roy said as he settled back into his seat.

"You just can't see it."

Ed stared at the enormous whirl wind with both fear and curiosity. Then, for just a

moment, he saw a black figure appear and disappear at the gate entrance. Ed blinked his

eyes and rubbed them. He then looked again.

"What was?"

Roy stare at Ed. "What?"

He turned himself slightly to look out the back as well.

He didn't see anything. He raised an eyebrow and stared at Ed. Ed had the look of a curious

and confused child. He seemed to be almost in a trance.

Roy poked Ed and he snapped out of it.

"Huh? Wha?"

"What did you see?" Roy asked.

"Oh."

Ed sat back down and looked down at his feet.

"Nothing."

Riza gave Roy an uncertain look as if they were communicating to each other through

facial expressions. Ed continued to stare at his shoes and

looked quite sad.

"Hey."

Roy said.

He shook Edward a bit and exclaimed,

"Cheer up! We're going on a vacation!"

"Yea…" Ed responded gloomily.

"sounds great."

Havoc stared at Ed through the rear view mirror and asked,

"Want to stop somewhere for

ice cream?"

Hughes stared at Havoc. "What?" Havoc asked, confused.

"Maybe when we get up there." Roy suggested.

"How about it… Ed?"

Ed seemed to be lost in deep thought. He was still staring at his shoes and his facial

expressions kept changing from fear, to anger, to sadness and to determination. He bit his

lip.

"Hey, Full Metal."

Ed then snapped out of it and said, "Yea, ice cream sounds great."

Riza pulled out some gum and gave it to Ed.

"This should hold you until you get there, right?"

Ed nodded his head.

"Hey, what about me?" Roy whined.

"Losers don't get any."

Roy pouted.

Ed pointed at him and laughed.

He then made a big bubble and crossed his eyes while making it. It popped in his face

causing gum to stick everywhere.

Then Roy pointed at Ed and laughed.

Ed pouted.

"Jerk."

Ж

Ж

Ж

Anyway, thats it for now, hope you liked it. God, I'm tired.


	9. Chapter 9: Crazy Road Trip

Okay.. this is the next chapter. I'm really tired, so not much to say. Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: FMA is not mine and all that good stuff. So yea. Don't sue me.

Ж

Ж

Ж

"Are we there yet?"

Roy whined.

"No."

Havoc said back.

"Are we there yet?" Hughes whined.

"NO."

Havoc yelled back.

"Are we there yet?" Ed whined

"NO! SHUT UP!" Havoc yelled back.

Riza sighed and looked out the window at the vast expanse of green.

"Men."

Roy laughed.

"Women."

Havoc then smiled and said,

"I spy with my little eye, a gas station!"

"We shouldn't stop." Roy cautioned.

"But we're almost out." He said, tapping the gas meter.

"Well, then we need to change out of uniform."

Riza's eyes got big. "The car is mine."

Ж

All the guys sighed and went outside to change.

"Why don't you go in the car and change with the other woman?" Roy taunted.

"Ha, ha, ha asshole. I'm not changing at all."

Havoc smiled at Roy and Roy smiled at Havoc. Hughes opened up the trunk and pulled out a yellow sundress.

"You either change willfully, or WE change you into THAT." Roy said and smiled, pointing at the dress.

Ed twitched.

"Fine!"

He went to the trunk and pulled out his suitcase. He grabbed the fake bra, a blue V-neck and blue jeans.

He changed on the other side of the car, away from the three stinky men.

Roy changed into blue dress pants and a black t-shirt.

It outlined his perfect chest quite nicely.

Hughes put on a dark blue Hawaiian shirt, white shorts, and flip flops.

Havoc put on a white t-shirt and black jeans.

They all stood there, awaiting either Ed, or Riza to show up so they could hoot like barbarians. The first to show was Riza.

She opened the back door and stepped out. She was wearing

a light purple long sleeved turtleneck, a white skirt and a purple and white scarf.

She stared at the men who seemed to be ready for the beach.

"You do know, we're going where it snows right?"

They stared at her then looked at each other, then stared at her again. She put her hands up. "I'll go see how Ed is doing."

Ed was having a hard time putting the fake bra on. He couldn't clip it in the back and he blushed with embarrassment.

He had already gotten the pants on. That was easy. But this stupid bra strap was killing him.

He reached behind his back and every time he thought he had it, it would disconnect again.

Riza covered her mouth to try and hide her smile. Ed stared at her.

"Go ahead and laugh, this is stupid."

She walked over and knelt down behind him. She pulled the straps together and hooked them.

"Hey Ed."

"Hmm?" He said as he put the blue V-neck on.

"Back there."

She paused.

"What did you see?"

"I don't know." He admitted.

He stood up straight and his fake boobs went lopsided under the shirt again.

Riza fixed them for him once more and smiled.

"I see." She said and pulled Ed's hair down.

"Well." She paused and put a hair pin in her mouth.

She tucked Ed's hair behind his ear and stuck the hair pin there to keep it in place.

"If you ever see it again, if you remember something more, or if you figure out what it was, let me know."

"Sure."

Ed said, a bit confused. He looked at himself and blushed.

"This is so humiliating."

"Oh!" Riza said.

She opened the door to the back seat and grabbed the black jacket Gracia had bought for Ed. She threw it to him.

"They won't be that noticeable under that."

He smiled.

"Thanks."

She bowed her head then yelled, "Are you men done yet?"

"Yes!" One of them yelled back.

Ed smirked. "I'm gonna wear my boots."

Riza smiled. "That's the spirit…"

She then walked over to the other side to see if the men had dressed more appropriately. And sure enough, they were.

Roy was wearing a long sleeved white shirt, black pants, a gray hat, and his long gray overcoat.

Hughes was wearing a long sleeved purple sweater and blue jeans. Havoc was wearing his old high school letterman's jacket and tight black

pants.

She stared at them as they posed sexily.

"You're all idiots."

Just then, Edward came around the side of the car, blushing. Roy took off his hat and blushed. Havoc took a step closer and Hughes freaked.

"Oh my gosh! You look so adorable!"

In a split second he was standing over Edward, playing with his hair.

"My sweet little Edina!" He sang.

Riza, Havoc and Roy closed their eyes as they counted down quietly in unison.

"5…4…3…2..."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN EXTRA CHIBI-FIED TEENY TINY RAINDROP THAT YOU CAN'T SEE, AND EVEN WHEN IT HITS YOU, YOU CAN'T FEEL IT AND IT DOESN'T EVEN GET YOU WET BECAUSE IT'S SO SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT?"

Ed tore off the jacket and started chasing Hughes around the giant field. All the while, his fake boobs were bouncing. Roy was transfixed.

Havoc waved his hand around Roy's face and tapped him.

"Roy!"

He yelled. No response. Havoc shrugged. He looked over at Riza who loaded her gun. She shot a bullet right by his foot and he jumped.

She blew the smoke coming from the gun and said,

"Yup, still got it."

"You tryin to kill me?" He yelled.

"Nope." Havoc said.

"Just trying to get you to stop drooling over Ed."

Roy blushed. "I was not drooling."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yea."

"Then what's that?"

Havoc asked and pointed at a wet spot on the ground, directly below Roy.

"I don't know." Roy said and turned away.

"Uhuh…" Havoc said, unconvinced.

Havoc then clapped his hands twice and yelled, "Everyone in the car!"

They all piled into the car and Roy kept sneaking glances at Ed.

Ed saw Roy's reflection in the window. He turned around and snapped at him.

"What are you looking at?"

"Umm…"

Roy began. He than pointed at Ed's fake boobs and said,

"Are those things… real?"

"NOT THEY ARE NOT YOU MORON!"

Ed growled.

"Then…"

He smiled.

"Can I touch them?"

"NO YOU CANNOT YOU FRICKING PERVERT!"

He yelled and punched Roy in the head.

"It was worth the risk…" Roy said, smiling comically.

"Oh!" Havoc said.

"I just remembered something."

He tossed a small black box over to Riza and she opened it.

Ed stared and Roy looked over Ed's shoulder. Right when they realized what it was they started screaming.

"There's no way in hell I am wearing a wedding ring!"

"For once, Full Metal's right. Count me out!"

"Hey, what do you mean, for once?"

"I meant what I said, for once."

"You jerk!"

They started wrestling each other in the back of the car.

"Hey!" Riza yelled.

"Stop acting like children!"

They got off each other, folded their arms and pouted.

"That's a little hard for one of us, since he _is_ a child." Roy snapped.

"What?" Ed yelled.

Riza put her hand over his mouth and said with a smirk.

"Yes Roy, I'm very proud of you for recognizing that about yourself."

"Wha?

Roy pointed to himself and said,

"Me? That's not very nice."

Riza yawned and looked out the window.

"If you don't be nice to Ed, I won't be nice to you."

Roy pouted, he looked back at Ed and Ed stuck his tongue out at him.

Roy growled some more.

Riza glared at him and he shut up.

"Dammit." He thought.

"Now… you two… you have to wear these."

She said pulling the box back out.

She handed a ring to each of them.

"Ahh… the thing I dread most. The commitment band!" Roy whined as he put it on.

Ed had put it on the wrong finger.

"No you dummy!" Roy said, rudely.

He took the ring off Ed's left ring finger and put it on the right one.

"Your right is right." He sang.

Hughes smiled and said,

"I now pronounce you man and wife."

"Havoc, pull over the car!"

Ж

Ж

Ж

lol. Rereading that made me laugh. My friend asked me why I put so much humor into such a "dark" fic. Well, I'll answer your question.

Q: Why do you put so much humor into such a dark fic?

A: I think it lightens the mood and it doesn't leave that icky angsty aftertaste. It makes you laugh, then cry, and all those great emotions in the middle. And I'm a very fun-loving person. And I love making people laugh. So yea. heh.

Hope I cleared that up. I'm gonna start answering questions down here, so if you have any, don't hesitate to ask.

Laters. :)


	10. Chapter 10: Perverted Colonels and Trigg...

Okay, I had already written four new chapters, but I thought they kinda dragged the story so I deleted them. Yes, call me crazy. I decided to take a large swig of orange soda, get the creative juices flowing, and get re-writing. See, my fear is that I will lose interest in this story, and it will suffer, and I will disappoint you guys. And I don't want that. So I will work hard for you! Hehe. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this rewritten version of "Perverted Colonels and Trigger Happy Lieutenants…

Disclaimer: No, Full Metal Alchemist is not mine. And even if you sue me, all you will get is four cats, a crappy old computer, a huge collection of orange soda cans and tons of old sticky notes. So, it's really not worth it anyway. Hehe.

Ж

Ed watched out the back of the car as Hughes ran after them as fast as he could.

"Umm… Colonel?" Havoc questioned.

"Keep driving…" Roy smiled evilly.

"He needs the exercise."

Riza rolled her eyes.

"Men."

"You are truly a sick man." Havoc said while laughing.

Roy rubbed his chin.

"I'm a pretty man too."

Riza coughed and tried to keep herself from laughing as she said,

"I didn't know men could be pretty, is there something we should know about?"

Roy gave her a feral smile, grabbed her hand and smothered it in kisses.

"I assure you, my dear, either way I am a beautiful man."

Riza smacked him over the head and growled,

"You're an idiot man is what you are…"

Then Suddenly, Roy got punched in the face.

Ed was steaming.

"You set this all up so you could take advantage of me didn't you?"

"Wha?"

"YOU NASTY OLD MAN!"

"Old man?"

"YES! YOU! NASTY OLD CRUSTY FAT UGLY USELESS IDIOT COLONEL!"

Roy stared at Ed long and hard.

"Did you just call me… old?"

Havoc closed his eyes for a second and smiled.

"You're in for it now Mr. Elric…"

Riza began counting down as Roy steamed up.

"5…4…3…2…"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING AN ANCIENT MUMMY WHICH HAS BEEN PROPERLY PRESEVERED BUT IS ALSO DECOMPOSING AND BUGS ARE EATING IT'S OLD CRUSTY NASTY DECOMPOSING BODY BECAUSE ITS BEEN THERE SO FIRKING LONG AND NOBODY CAN EVEN RECOGNIZE WHO IT IS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE AND ANY DISTINGUISHING MARKS HAVE ALL DISAPPEARED OVER THE LONG TIME WHICH HAS PASSED?

Ed was afraid. Very afraid.

He then yelled, "LET ME OUT! I'D RATHER WALK WITH HUGHES!"

He jumped out of the car and ran back to catch up with Hughes.

"Umm.. sir…" Riza began.

Yes, Riza?" Roy was smiling. He was very proud that he could scare the Full Metal

Alchemist. He folded his arms and pointed his head up.

"I know, you're going to tell me how brilliant I am, aren't you?"

Riza stared at him.

"No, I'm going to tell you that you are an idiot because the one we're supposed to be

protecting has just jumped out of the car just to get

away from your sorry ass."

Roy stared at her long and hard as if thinking about something. He then looked behind the

car at the disappearing Ed and Hughes. He then

looked back at Riza who was glaring. He smiled nervously and said,

"Oops?"

The car then starting making a funny sound.

"Umm.. Hey, I got good news…" Havoc stuttered.

"What?" Roy asked just as the car stalled.

Havoc put another cigarette in his mouth and unbuckled his seat belt.

"We don't have to go to the gas station after all…"

Ж

"Can't we call East city and have them send another car?" Havoc whined.

"No… We received strict orders not to call them." Riza explained.

"The Fuhrer said he would send somebody when it was safe. Until then, we're on our own."

Havoc looked around and shivered. It was starting to get dark and the gas station was still

miles away. He looked off to the side of him at a

rather large forest. He pointed to it.

"_That _makes me nervous…"

Riza nodded her head and stared at it.

"Makes me nervous as well."

"Ohayo!" Hughes called out jokingly.

"You waited for us all this time, what wonderful people you are!" Hughes praised.

"Heh… not quite…"

Hughes stared at Havoc.

"What?"

Just then Ed walked up.

" Roy scared the car too, didn't he?"

Roy started sparkling.

"I am… amazing…"

Riza smacked him over the head and said,

"No, you're an idiot."

Roy started comically crying. Havoc sat down on the hood and lit another cigarette.

"You know, that's really stupid to do…"

Riza informed him.

"Why?"

"Because if anyone was looking for us right now, they could see our exact location."

She sighed.

"All they would have to know about is your awful habit of smoking."

Havoc smiled.

"Not very hard to find out."

Riza shook her head and stared at the ground.

"Idiots they are… all of them."

She walked off a little, still mumbling something about idiots, stupid second lieutenants,

and perverted Colonels.

Roy then opened up the trunk while comically crying and said,

"Looks like… we have to rough it!"

Havoc's eyes got large.

"I wanna share a tent with her."

He said and pointed at Riza. Suddenly, something black which looked very much like a

shoe zoomed into his

head and he went flying.

"W-T-F?" He said while on the ground.

Roy put his hand on Riza's shoulder.

"O-M-G!" Havoc yelled and watched invisible birdies fly around his head.

Roy laughed.

"He's been reduced to Internet acronyms…"

He patted her shoulder.

"Good woman."

"O-M-F-G-B-B-Q!" Havoc said and sat up straight. He felt his head and groaned.

"W-T-F?" He shook a couple times.

"WHAT THE FU-"

Roy quickly put his hand over his mouth and said,

"Don't ever say that in front of ladies…"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A LADY, OLD MAN?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD MAN YOU STUPID WOMAN?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU CRUSTY OLD MAN!"

"NOT BEFORE YOU DO YOU SHORT SMALL FEMALE CHIBI-FIED BEAN!"

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

Havoc then sat on the hood of the car and threw his cigarette on the ground while listening

to the endless insults. He stomped on the cigarette

and said promptly,

"Smokings' bad for you…"

Riza nodded her head.

"Good man."

Ж

Roy sighed. "So here we are… in the middle of firkin nowhere. On the edge of a monster

infested forest, and I don't even get a woman to

sleep with…"

He poked Ed.

"Will you sleep with me?"

Roy then quickly went flying across the tent.

"SHUT UP IN THERE!" Havoc yelled.

"Yea!" Riza joined in. "We're trying to sleep!"

Then Hughes said something that just made it _all _better. _Right… _

"Yes, enough of your lover's quarrels…"

"SHUT THE HELL UP HUGHES!" Ed yelled.

"Aww… don't be gloomy just because you have to share a tent with a stinky man…"

"Come over here and I'll show you some pictures of Alicia!"

"She's so cute! See, here I have one of her riding her first tricycle… oh and here she's lost her first tooth…

Oh and here's another good one… she's asleep with her teddy bear… oh and then this one…"

Suddenly, they heard a gunshot and all went quiet.

"Any more talking and the person who does it will be shot." Riza warned.

"Missed me!" Hughes yelled.

She blew on her gun and said,

"Oops…"

"You would really shoot me, would you?" He whined.

"Dare to try your luck?"

"No…" He whimpered.

"Good… now go to sleep…"

"She's scary…" Ed whispered.

Roy comically cried.

"Yes she is…"

Ж

Lol. Okay… I laughed when I reread this. Over and over. Hehe. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Lol. I still can't get the mental image of

Roy yelling at Ed because he called him old out of my head. Lol. Now Roy has something to get pissed over. Hehe. Oh and once again, thanks for all the sweet comments, you all made my day. Seriously. hehe. Oh and um.. DID YOU GUYS MISS ME? hehe. Yes, I was gone for day for those of you who didn't even notice. lol. I will be gone two days next week. Not in a row. But just a heads up. I'm thinking of making a schedule like comic writers do. I should like... update like... every tuesday and wednesday or something. Eh, I'd never be able to keep it up. Anyway, oh, I also wanted to thank everyone who actually reads this stuff down here. Makes me feel special. hehe. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. And don't forget to REVIEW:) Thanks.


	11. Chapter 11: Face to Face with Fear

I have returned! Well, yea. I'm sure you all missed me lots. Uhuh… yup… I'm sure of it. Hehe. Anyway, here's the next chapter of my exciting and dementedly funny fic…

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist is not mine so don't sue me unless you want my two rats. Or… you can have my brother… :) lol

Ж

In the night, Roy had rolled over onto Edward. Edward had screamed and threw him out.

He looked up at the sky. It was beautiful.

"Don't get stars like this back at home." Havoc commented and took another puff of his

cigarette.

"I thought smoking was _bad _for you." Roy said.

Havoc smiled and sat down on the hood of the car.

"And I care why?"

Roy laughed.

"Just like you…"

Roy climbed onto the top of the car and stretched out.

"Hey Colonel…"

"Hmm?"

"Is it really all that safe to be out here?"

Roy shook his head.

"Probably not… but don't worry… we're safe as long as Full Metal is here."

"Eh? I thought it was us protecting him…"

Roy laughed.

"As if… we'd never last a minute against the Red Claw."

Havoc laughed.

"Some protectors we are."

Roy laughed.

"Indeed."

After a few moments of silence Havoc piped up again.

"So what exactly happened between you and the Red Claw?"

Roy froze.

"I know it's none of my business… but I've heard things… I've heard you were one of them…"

Roy sighed.

"For a year…"

Havoc shook his head and closed his eyes.

Roy sat up.

"I left as soon as I could. You have to understand… I was paying off a debt…"

"What debt?"

"I killed his daughter…"

Suddenly, Ed emerged from his tent and rubbed his eyes. He started walking away,

completely slouched over and started mumbling something

about dancing polar bears.

Roy laughed.

"Strange boy that one is." Havoc said and took another puff of his cigarette.

"Yea…" Roy whispered.

"Yes he is."

"Hey little one! Where you off to?" Roy called after Ed.

Ed put up his middle finger without turning around and said,

"You're not my mother and I can go potty all by myself you ugly giraffe…"

"What the hell?" Havoc raised an eyebrow.

Roy smiled.

"Strange indeed."

Ж

Ed walked up to the edge of the forest, unzipped his pants and started doing his business. It

was very dark and the forest chirped with life. He

wasn't afraid of the forest. He had grown up next to one… he had to live in one for a long

time too. He remembered the time he and Al had

been forced to live on that island. He smiled.

"Izumi… Al…"

He whispered into the darkness.

"What the hell?" He suddenly.

"Isn't it kind of wrong to think about them while going pee?"

He quickly zipped up his fly and stormed off. He suddenly felt as if something were

watching him. He turned around.

The forest life had silenced and his heart raced. The car and the tents weren't too far away.

He could run for them… or he could protect them

and run into the forest. Suddenly, his mind was made up for him as he was dragged into the

forest by something large and black. She

whispered in a low voice and said,

"Finally…

"Finally I've come to meet you…"

Ж

All Ed remembered were a few strange sounds. Like screeching. Then gunshots. Then more

screeching. He opened his eyes. It was bright. He

was unusually warm. He could tell he was moving somehow. But he didn't know how. He

wasn't moving his legs. He hurt too much. He blinked a

few times. It was still blurry. He figured out he was being held up. Like he was on

someone's back. He breathed in. It smelled like fire and after- shave.

"Colonel…" he whispered.

Suddenly, there was a sick feeling in his stomach and he hit Roy. Roy dropped him and Ed

lay flat on his back. He tried remembering what

had happened. And then some of it came back. The smell. The smell of something dead…

something that shouldn't be allowed to walk. He

closed his eyes and he saw it. The thing that had taken him into the forest.

He threw up.

He then teared up a bit.

"What the hell was that thing?"

"Human." Roy responded.

Riza covered her mouth as tears tickled the sides of her eyes. Havoc remained silent and

Hughes leaned down in front of Edward. He handed

him a tissue and patted his back.

"You alright little soldier?" He asked him.

"Now's not exactly the best time to call him that." Roy said, harshly.

Ed coughed and teared up some more.

"That wasn't human." Ed whispered.

"It looked like a Homunculus."

Roy shook his head.

"I looked for a way not to believe it to. It's hard to believe what they turn those people

into."

Ed choked and threw up some more.

He closed his eyes and remembered her face. How sad it had been. Then, he remembered

her words.

"Save us…"

He then thought a bit.

"Why do they want me?" He asked.

"We don't know."

Roy lied. He didn't have to heart to tell him they wanted to turn him into that. He also

knew that if he told him that that

thing had once been an Alchemist, he would figure it out. So he ignored the truth. He

thought about what had happened. He had shot her out of pure pity. He knew what

happened there. He knew what they had done to her. But he didn't want Ed to know. He

would protect Ed's innocence no matter what. He then thought for a moment.

"Did she say if the others knew where we were?" Roy asked.

"She told me specifically that only she had been following us."

He closed his eyes and tried to remember more but he just choked up and started slightly

crying again.

When Ed was a bit more composed he got up and started stumbling to the forest ahead of

them.

"The cabin is that way, right?" He asked, wearily. Roy nodded his head.

He then began walking ahead of them, by himself.

Ж

"Its not so bad, right?" Hughes asked.

"No Hughes, its worse."

"How so?"

"I think I've figured out why they want Full Metal."

"Why?"

Hughes questioned, a bit curious now. Roy watched ahead of him and Hughes at the

staggering Ed. He was completely slouched over and was

slowly slouching more with each step he took. Roy sighed and closed his eyes.

"They don't want to use him at all."

He paused and a single tear fell from his eyes.

"He's the only one that could ever do it..."

He smiled and Hughes stared.

"They want to stop him from freeing the Alchemists."

Ж

Breda sat at the train station, his fingers entwined. He tapped his feet and stared at the sky.

The sun beat down on him and he perspired. He

then remembered the events of the day before and shivered.

"I hope the Colonel and Full Metal are fairing well…"

Suddenly, he heard a train whistle and stood up straight. "Finally!"

The train slowly pulled in and he whistled a happy tune. "Let's see… her name was…

Windel Reebell… no… What was it?"

He scratched his head and stomped his foot trying to remember. "Shit…"

He then saw her. She looked just like she did in the picture. He quickly ran up to her.

He put his hand behind his head. "Are you the girl in this picture?" He showed it to her and

she stared at it.

She then pulled out a wrench and yelled, "STALKER!" Suddenly, Den jumped out of the

train and started chasing after him.

"NO! I HATE DOGS!" Breda yelled and ran off.

"GO DEN!" She yelled and waved her wrench in the air.

"Ahh! I hate dogs! Get away from me stupid mutt!"

Den then jumped forward and grabbed Breda by the seat of his pants.

"Ouch!"

"That's it Den, keep that stalker running!"

"Woof!"

Ж

I'm so mean. I just had to pick on poor Breda. Hehe. Well, I guess the story it kind of coming together, is it not? I'm starting to the think the title may have not been the best choice, but no sense in changing it now. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	12. Chapter 12: Triple The Fun

This chapter originally had Roy being beaten up on by a hillbilly, but it got pretty boring and too much like Inuyasha after a while. So I deleted it. Lol. Well, umm.. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen next, so… all I'll say is I hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: Yano… this is getting kind of annoying. I DO NOT FIRKING OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST! And you cannot sue me. Because I am special and cannot be sued so go eat a tree. Lol

Ж

Al sighed. He missed his Nii-san.

"Cheer up little Elric!" Armstrong yelled.

"Oh! Armstrong… I didn't see you."

Armstrong showed off his muscles and said with pride, "How could not see these sparkles?"

Al sighed again and sat down on a black bench. He looked down at his hand. It was just the

day before that he had shaken his brother's hand

and said goodbye. The first time ever.

Al then suddenly stood up and posed.

"I'm going to be strong for Nii-san!"

Armstrong posed with him and shouted,

"Look at me sparkle!"

Just then, Farman walked in and walked straight back out, shaking his head.

"They're all on drugs I tell you…"

Ж

Breda sighed. It sure as hell took him long enough to convince this girl that he wasn't a

stalker. He glared at the dog sitting in the back seat

and Den growled at him. Breda started to sweat and looked over at Winry. She looked out

the window and stared.

"We're not going the right way…" She carefully pointed out.

"I know."

"You're not really a stalker are you?"

"No…"

"Then why aren't we going to headquarters?"

"It's not safe."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT SAFE?" She screamed

"WHERE'S EDWARD? IS HE ALLRIGHT? WHAT ABOUT AL? ARE THEY BOTH

OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED?"

She grabbed onto Breda, causing him to speed out of control and hit a tree.

He glared at her and she nervously smiled.

"Oops…"

Breda walked to the nearest phone booth and started dialing in a number by heart. Winry

watched him then sat down on the curb. She was

worried about Ed. Den came up and nuzzled on her leg. She smiled and pet him. She

sighed.

Suddenly, Den went rigid and started growling.

"What is it boy?"

She stood up and stared in the general direction, but saw nothing.

She knelt down and pet him.

"There's nothing there, Den."

He continued to growl.

"Fine, I'll go look for you. Would that make you happy?"

No response. Duh. She sighed and stood up straight, brushing herself off. She looked at all

the little houses and shops. They were all quite

squished together and she suddenly missed home. She kicked a couple rocks in the street,

and stopped to smell the flowers in front of a

restaurant. She breathed in and looked around. It was an older restaurant. It had stone walls

and a very large window. There was a single sign

in front of it which read, "The Shire."

"What an odd name…"

She thought and leaned over the flower bed to look through the window. Of course, no one

was around, which she found quite odd. It was all

too quiet in Central City. She continued walking. She passed an alley way and suddenly,

something caught her eye. She froze and turned

slowly. It was a trashy alleyway. It looked like the trash hadn't been picked up in over a

year. She saw a broken bicylcle, a few trash cans, an

old stroller and a car tire. Of course, she couldn't identify the smaller things. Suddenly, she

heard a noise from behind one of the trash cans a

bit farther back. She squinted.

"How far does this alley go?"

She thought. She took a step and nearly tripped over a bottle of some kind. She kicked it off

to the side. She then heard something move

again. She could see two green glowing eyes staring at her. They blinked and she froze.

Suddenly, Breda was behind her with a gun.

"What is it?"

He yelled.

She pointed to the eyes and he pointed his gun at them. He shook. Suddenly, they heard a

noise and it came out from the darkness.

"Meow!"

They both sighed. Breda put his gun away and Winry held onto her chest.

Breda then grabbed her arm and dragged her to the phone booth.

"Sit right here and do not move."

She sat down.

"Good girl..."

She growled and he walked back to the phone, whistling as he went.

Little did they know, a tall black figure was watching them from the rooftop.

It laughed.

"Too easy…"

Ж

Roy yawned. He was tired He was thirsty. He was hungry. And most of all, he was afraid.

He stared at the forest

ahead of them and stared at the road off to the side of it.

"Hey! Full Metal!"

Ed stopped without turning around and snapped,

"What?"

"Let's take the road instead…"

"Whatever."

Ed then changed direction and started walking toward the road off to the side of the trees.

Riza stared at Roy. Roy stared at Riza.

They gave each other feared expressions and then continued to walk. Havoc shook his head.

Once again, they spoke in a language he didn't understand.

Roy started watching Edward as he walked. He seemed to keep slowing down. Roy was a

bit worried, but he'd never admit that. Suddenly, Ed

fell face first into the sand.

"ED!" Roy yelled and ran to him.

Ed's face was once again down in the ground.

Ed put a hand up and waved at the Colonel.

"I'm too damn tired… if you make me walk any more…"

He took a handful of sand and growled,

"I'll make you eat this…"

Roy laughed.

"I suppose a break wouldn't be such a bad idea."

They all sat down around Ed, who was still lying in the sand.

"That _can't _be comfortable…" Havoc commented.

Ed ignored him and pretended to snore. Roy laughed.

"He's got the right idea…" Roy then laid his head on Ed's back without thinking and closed his eyes.

Hughes laughed.

"So cute… such cute little love birds!"

Suddenly, he was lying on the ground as well, with a huge welt in his head and a black shoe

in front of his face.

He wondered how that happened. He looked at Roy's one stocking foot and laughed. He

stood up, leaning over Roy.

"Don't be ashamed just because I found out!" He yelled.

Silence.

" Roy?"

He knelt down and poked Roy then ran away quick.

He ran up, peeked up behind Roy and poked him again. He waited a couple seconds then

JUMPED away.

"I wouldn't bother him if I were you…" Havoc warned.

He then got right in the Colonel's face and started playing with his cheeks.

Havoc put his hand out in front of Riza.

"Ten bucks says Roy proves pigs can fly…"

Hughes made a sad face a Havoc then turned his attention back to Roy. He started messing

with his hair and moving his lips while imitating him.

"Hello, I'm Roy Mustang, the biggest asshole in the whole world."

Suddenly, Hughes was half way across the sand whining as he fell.

Roy laughed and clicked his mouth a few times. He moved his head around Ed's back a bit

and said,

"Idiot…"

"Yes you are…" Ed said in his sleep.

Silence.

Havoc then started rummaging around for something in his suitcase.

"What are you looking for?" Riza asked, a bit curious.

"Something."

He reached inside and pulled out several miscellaneous items that he most likely wouldn't

have needed on this trip. He then pulled out a large plastic bag full of cigarette boxes. Riza

rolled her eyes.

"Of course…"

"Ahh!"

He surprised her.

He pulled out something bulky and box like with a large button on the side. He pushed the

button and a large flash

went off. Riza laughed.

"You're going to get murdered for that one…"

Havoc snickered.

"Yea, but I'll make plenty of copies…"

Ж

Okay, yes, I know… they don't have cameras. (Or do they?) Anyway, its my fic and I say they do so lemme alone! Lol.


	13. Chapter 13: Fun In The Sand

Alright, let's see what my evil mind comes up with _this _time. Heh. Anyway, hope you like it and don't forget to REVIEW!

Disclaimer: Just shoot me… just shoot me… because I do not own Ed and/or Roy or any of the Full Metal Alchemist characters or anything so blah. I'm just borrowing them so I can make them obey me and shag each other! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA:)

Ж

Ж

Ж

Ed slowly opened his eyes and yawned. The sky was bright and the ground under him was

hard. He somehow ended up on his back. He tried

to get up but had something hard on his stomach. He felt around and found a nose, two

eyes and a mou-

"YOU JACKASS! YOU BIT ME!" Ed yelled.

He hit Roy over the head and pulled out from under him.

"What?" Roy asked, in a daze.

"You fricken bit me! Now I'm gonna need shots."

Ed cringed.

"I thought you were food..." Roy grumbled.

Ed grabbed Roy by the collar and growled,

"You KNOW how much I hate shots and I'm not edible!"

Roy yawned.

"Shut up and lay back down you're comfortable…"

"WHAT?"

Roy grabbed onto Ed's leg and nuzzled it.

"You're comfy…"

Ed growled.

"Get the hell off me…"

"You talk to much...

"GET THE HELL OFF ME OLD MAN!"

Roy's eyes filled with fire as he ominously yelled,

"YOU DIDN'T JUST CALL ME OLD DID YOU?"

"YES I DID CALL YOU OLD MAN!"

"YOU STUPID BEAN!"

"YOU STUPID OLDY!"

Roy continued to hang onto Ed's leg and nuzzled it.

"Jean… Riza… Hughes…" Ed whined and pointed to Roy.

"Help me please!"

They all sighed and Riza said,

"That's what you get for letting him sleep on you…"

Ed was outraged.

"I DIDN'T LET HIM SLEEP ON ME!"

Havoc laughed.

"Oh yes you did, we saw you smiling the whole time…"

Hughes stayed quiet as he giggled quietly.

"I DON'T THINK THERES ANYTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS HUGHES!" Ed yelled.

Hughes smiled and closed his eyes.

"You just remind me so much of… Gracia and I when we were younger… such sweet

love… unrequited… yet so beautiful."

In two seconds Hughes was flying across the sky again.

Ed looked down at his now free leg, put his hands to his mouth and yelled,

"THANK YOU HUGHES!"

"YOURE WElcoooommmeee….." He yelled back as he disappeared.

Havoc stared at Riza.

"That's twenty bucks."

Riza sighed.

She pulled out her wallet and handed him the bill.

Havoc kissed it and said,

"More smokes!"

Riza rolled her eyes.

"Smokers…"

Ж

"We're on the road again…" Roy sang. "I can't believe we're back on the road again…"

Havoc laughed.

"You got the lyrics wrong."

"I don't care, the point is, we're walking in a stupid desert and this is stupid!"

He threw his bag down and pointed to a rock, "That rock is stupid!"

He pointed to the forest. "That forest is stupid."

He pointed to the sky. "The sky is stupid!"

He pointed to the sand. "That sand is stupid!"

Then he pointed to Ed.

"That Ed is…"

"WHAT?" Ed growled.

"Nothing…"

Ed smirked.

He felt surprisingly better, which was how it usually worked out after he took a nap. He

still felt pretty strange though.

"You know, Colonel." Havoc began.

"That forest feels like it keeps getting farther and farther away…"

Roy's eyes went large.

"If that is a mirage, I swear I'm going to kill something…"

"Don't be glum, chum!" Hughes chimed in.

Roy sighed exhaustedly.

"Not right now, man, not right now."

"Oh come on! Look at my pretty little Alicia! She's so cute her cuteness will make all your

sorrows go away!"

Roy took a deep breath, put his finger up and opened his mouth as if to say something. But

stopped, and hung his head. He then stared at

Hughes with an annoyed face.

"I don't even have the energy to yell at you…"

Hughes smiled and put a finger up.

"As it should be!"

Roy rolled his eyes.

"If you could just be quiet, for a little bit… please… just for a few minutes so I can have

some peace and quiet!"

Hughes frowned.

"But then I'd be letting you stay sad, and a good friend would never do such a thing."

Roy collapsed onto the ground and comically cried.

"I'll never win…"

Ж

"Maybe we should rest a while." Riza suggested.

"You don't look at that good."

She pointed at Roy.

"What? I don't look good?" He gasped.

He rummaged through one of his bags and pulled out a mirror.

He stared at himself.

His hair was completely messed up, he was sweating, his face looked flushed and his eyes

were drooping down, bringing attention to the bags

under his eyes. He cleared his throat and stared at Riza.

"I thought it was supposed to be cold where we're going."

Riza laughed.

"Yea, it is… which tells us what genius?" She said, sarcastically.

Roy put his head down and sighed.

"Meaning we're very far away from where we should be…"

"Very good!" She said clapped her hands.

"Bitch…"

"What was that?" She said and put a hand to her ear.

"Nothing…" He called back and smiled.

Havoc sat down next to Roy and whispered in his ear,

"She has certainly been on your back a lot lately, what the hell did you do?"

Roy thought about that a moment.

"You're right… hmm…"

He thought long and hard and his face showed it.

"Oh yea!"

He paused and gave Havoc an uncertain expression.

"Could it have something to do with the fact I slept with her sister?"

Havoc hit his forehead and laughed.

"You _are_ hopeless, sir."

Roy laughed.

"That's what I've been told…"

Ж

When they finally reached the road off to the side of the forest, they saw a beautiful sight.

Buildings. People. Cars. Horses. A fewhouses scattered here and there, the forest

obviously wasn't that large and only went aroundabout half of the little city. Riza looked

beyondthe city and saw another large forest.

She pointed to it. "_That _is our destination…"

Havoc whined. "Can't we just stay here?"

"We have our orders…"

Suddenly, Roy dropped his bags and drooled.

"CIVILIZATION!" He yelled and ran off.

"Riza?" Havoc said and watched as she loaded her gun.

"You might want to come back here Roy, I'm getting a little rusty and my trigger finger

can't hold back for long…"

Roy froze where he was, spun on his heel and waved.

"Alright!"

Riza smiled.

"I _love_ this gun."

Ed laughed and Roy smiled.

He watched Edward from afar and his whole face brightened.

He closed his eyes, then stared at Ed again while whispering to the wind,

"That's it Ed, let your innocence show. Don't ever loose it…"

Ж

Ж

Ж

For some reason, this chapter really melts my heart. God, I'm so corny. Lol

Don't forget to REVIEW!

I'M SO HAPPY! You guys leave such nice reviews. I feel so special. Hehe. Anyway, thank you! I wish I could just… hug you all. Lol. Isn't that a creepy thought? Some strange teenage girl hugging you. Lol. Well, that's my quote. Hehe. "Yes, I hug random people." MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA:)

Okay, question time.

**Q**: "Why do you update so much?" - Asked by a friend on DeviantArt.

**A**: I have no life. Lol. And I love to write. And to be completely honest, I don't even know what's going to happen until after I write it. I'm so impatient… I just have to find out! Lol Yes, I know I'm weird. hehe


	14. Chapter 14: The Invitation

Okay, I'm tired… but I'm going to write one more chapter before I head off to bed. So yea. You better love me. Lol

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST! There… You know what? I think I'm just gonna copy and paste my other disclaimer thingies. Then I won't have to write this stupid thing every time. Yup, that's what I'll do…

Ж

Ж

Ж

When they reached the edge of the city, they were greeted by a rather large main with a

cane. He was limping along the road with two horses.

He held a pipe in his hand and stared at the tired bunch.

He took the pipe from his mouth and said,

"Lost yer way, have you?

Roy collapsed onto the grass beside the road and caressed it.

"Oh beautiful grass! I will never forsake you again!"

Riza rolled her eyes and brought her attention back to the man. He stared at her.

"My guess is you'se have been in that sand fer too long?"

Riza nodded her head.

"Our car broke down."

The man puffed on his pipe and looked over the bunch. They looked like normal travelers

to him.

"On yer way up thar?" He said and pointed to the forest high along the road.

Riza nodded her head.

"Perhaps I's can help you…"

"Nora!"

He yelled into the little house. "We'se got visitors!"

"Oh wonderful!" The woman yelled with glee.

She then stepped out into the yard.

Ed sighed and stood far from the rest of them.

He studied the buildings. They looked very old. They were made of stone and vines crawled

up the sides of most of them. In the distance he could a larger barn type building with

smoke coming out of its chimney. He looked across from that and saw a few strange

looking trees. He wanted to go investigate, but decided he'd rather not wander.

He brought his attention back to the house. It had a chimney as well, but no smoke came

from it. There was hay off to the side and a short wooden fence behind that.

Edwalked over to the gate and stared out into the vast field.

It was covered in some strange type of animal he had never seen before.

He squinted his eyes and finally identified the animals as some type of cow.

He then leaned down and touched the grass. It was very thick and green.

Ed fell back into it and stared at the sky. Suddenly, he felt something nuzzle his head.

He sat up. It was a young horse. Ed backed away. He had never seen one before.

The horse snorted and came closer him. He pulled back his hands and put them behind his

back.

The man laughed.

"That's Abna.. she wont hurt youse.."

Ed reluctantly put his hand out and let Abna smell it. She whinnied and nuzzled on his

forehead.

He scratched under her chin and it looked almost as if she were smiling.

"Well, I'll be…" The man said and stared at Ed and Abna.

"Huh?" Havoc asked.

He looked at Havoc.

"Abna don't usually like the women… Nora says its cause she's an "alpha." Whatever that

means."

"Oh, how rude of me… Names' Harold." He put out his hand for Riza to shake it.

"I'm Riza." She shook his hand.

"I'm Jean… That's Edina…" He said pointing to Ed.

And Riza pointed to Roy who was still caressing the grass and said reluctantly, "That's…

Roy…"

"Aren't we forgetting someone?" Havoc asked.

Riza laughed. "Poor Hughes… He'll catch up soon…_I hope." _

The man laughed.

"Straggler?"

Riza smiled nervously and said,

"You could say that."

Suddenly Nora burst out into laughter, shook Harold and yelled,

"Them twos' are married Harold!"

She pointed to Ed and Roy.

Riza laughed.

"Yes…they're… Newlyweds."

Harold scratched his head.

"Well, I'll be…"

He then yelled to Ed,

"Girl!"

Ed fought back the need to kill the man and turned in his general direction.

"Youse like Abna?"

Ed smiled and nodded his head a bunch of times.

The man smiled, took his pipe from his mouth and said,

"She's yours…"

Ed's eyes got large.

"But… I don't know how to take care of a horse!"

The man laughed.

"She's knows how to take care of herself… just listen to her…"

Ed raised an eyebrow and decided that he had been beaten.

"Oh, we must do more for them!" Nora yelled.

"Oh… Tonight… there will be a festival…" Nora began.

"Nora…" Harold groaned.

"No, no, no… they will love it…"

She pulled Roy up from the grass and dragged him over to Ed, who was still petting Abna.

She put they're hands together and they both fought the need to pull them back.

"See?" She said, pointing to the "happy" couple.

"Theys' must come tonight. Theys' will be the guests of honor!"

Harold shook his head and took his pipe from his mouth.

"I knows my wife has a strange and soft soul for newlyweds, but will youse do us the honor and attend?"

Roy looked at Ed and Ed looked at Roy.

Then, before either of them could say anything, Hughes jumped up from out of nowhere and shouted,

"OF COURSE THEY WILL!"

Ж

They had been invited in and given a place to stay. Ed and Roy had to share a room. What a

surprise. The house was small and dark, but… cozy. There were various knickknacks

scattered in several out of place china cabinets. Beautiful rugs hung on the walls and over

the doorways. Beads and strange instruments from other lands graced the hall and baskets

overstuffed with old newspaper clippings sat on the floors. The floor itself looked to be

made of a tough kind of brown grass, but if you pulled on it, it didn't come up.

"Must be carpet…" Ed thought and twitched a bit.

"Hold still!"

Nora commanded.

She was an older woman clad in a frilly dress with some kind of mop on her head that could barely be called a hat. Ed sighed.

Nora was fitting him intosomething, and he wanted to run away. Good thing she had

turned when he first put the thing on, of she would have noticed his boobs were fake. She

had seen his auto-mail but hadn't said a word about it. He assumed it was a normal thing

here.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case almost anywhere else.

Ж

Roy sighed.

"What trouble had Hughes gotten them into this time?"

He rubbed his head and finger combed his hair back.

"I hope I don't regret this…"

Suddenly, he heard Nora squeal and he quickly rushed into the other room.

What he saw next, he couldn't have prepared for in a million years.

Edward was wearing a dress...

Ж

Ж

Ж

Hehe.. oh I'm bad.. muwahahahaha! So yea. Oh and please let me know if I'm dragging the story too much. I certainly don't want that to happen. So yea.. REVIEW! Tell me what you like and what you don't like! I can take it! Come on! Bring on the criticism! Lol

BTW,

"They have cameras, how else could Hughes take pictures of his darling Elysia? " – Cringe

I LOVE YOU! Lol

Yes I'm sorry.. I quote you hope you don't mind... :)

And yea… REVIEW! Lol


	15. Chapter 15: How To Go Up

Lol. So my mom got home while I was on the computer. She comes in holding a pink brush. I cringed and she was all, "I meant to buy a pink one… I know you won't touch it." What a meanie poohead.

Anyway, I'm sick and tired of Romeo and Juliet so I'm going to write the next chapter. Lol. Here we go:

Disclaimer: I'm too lazy to copy and paste so I'll just say Full Metal Alchemist is not mine, and do not really even want to own it. Too much responsibility. And I can't draw for crap… so that would make absolutely no sense. Lol

Note: This chapter doesn't have much funny in it... so dont be disappointed, cuz I warned you. :)

Ж

Ж

Ж

Roy just stood there with his mouth gaping open.

Ed blushed and turned away.

Nora turned him around and said sternly,

"Let your husband looks at youse'… don't be embarrassed for he loves youse' no matter

what you wear."

Ed put his head down and tapped his fingers together. Roy took off his hat and stepped a bit

closer, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

Nora smiled at Roy's expression and said,

"Isn't she beautiful? I knew youse'd like it!"

She realized Roy couldn't hear her and the two of them were locked in each other's eyes.

She smiled, tiptoed out and closed the door. When she reached the other room, she started

clapping and smiled even bigger,

Harold gave her an accusing look. She lightly smacked him.

"Oh, mind yours' own business Harold… theys're in love."

"Poppycock… that's what youse' say about all the lot…"

He paused.

"The brute could be after her money, she _did_ look classy…"

She smacked him lightly again and leaned her ear on the door.

"Oh nonsense…" She persisted.

"I could sees' it in his eyes."

Ж

"Ed…" Roy began. Ed looked away again and the dress twirled with him. Roy's eyes

seemed

to sparkle every time Edward made even the slightest movement.

Roy stepped closer to him and Ed turned completely around.

Ed was so scared. Not only, did he _hate _wearing this dress and feel the need to kill that

damn woman, but here was Roy, looking like a lovesick puppy dog.

Roy sighed and inched closer to Ed, who was now shaking.

"Move over." Havoc whispered to Hughes. They were peaking in through the door on the

other side of the room, while Nora, opened _her_ door a

crack. Hughes was balanced on a chair beside the door, and Riza and Havoc were off to the

side.

Hughes whined.

"I'm trying, but if I move over any farther, I'll fall."

Havoc looked at Riza and gave her a devious smile. For once, they spoke that language

without any words. Havoc pushed Hughes off the chair making a loud THUMP noise.

Ed turned around quick and Roy grabbed him. Ed froze. Riza quietly gasped and Nora's eyes

sparkled. After a few moments, Harold hadjoined her in the peeping. She nudged him.

"Yea, yea…" He whispered.

So Ed was now in Roy's arms.

"_He's hugging me." _Ed thought.

It was warm and unusually comfortable. Ed inched closer and grabbed onto Roy's shirt.

His mind was completely blank. Every time he tried to think of something, he couldn't

keep it in his head for long. He felt, excitement, apprehension, and… happiness?

"No…"

Ed thought. He inched closer and Roy sighed. He leaned his head down and kissed

Edward's head.

"You're beautiful…" He whispered.

Suddenly, the whole gang went piling through the door. Havoc lay on top of Riza and

Hughes lay on top of Havoc. Havoc waved nervously.

"Hey guys…"

Then Nora came into the room and started yelling at them. Something about how they

shouldn'tbe peeping. Harold laughed.

"That woman…"

Roy must have jumped two feet in the air, because he was now a good ten feet away from

Edward. Edward blushed. He turned around and shook.

"_What the hell was that_?"

Nora then kicked them all out of the room, including Roy who would not leave without

taking one last look of Ed's back. Nora then locked both the doors and leaned against one.

She noticed " Edina" was shaking. She slowly walked over to him and extended a hand.

"What's wrong, my dear?"

Ed continued to shake.

"That wasn't Roy… that wasn't…"

Nora was perplexed. She didn't know what to make of the situation.

"Here, let's first get you out of that dress…"

She unzipped the back for Ed and he took the rest off himself. She threw him a nightshirt

and he put it on with a smile.

"Thank you…" He whispered.

She stared at his back.

"For what?"

Ed turned around with tears in his eyes.

"For being so nice…"

She smiled.

"Of course."

She then gave him a brief hug and whispered.

"You two aren't really married… are you?"

Ed pushed away from her and blinked a couple times.

"Of course we are; we have the rings and everything…" He tried to cover it up.

She shook her head.

"That means nothing."

She put her hand to heart and said with unusual certainty,

"It's what's in here that counts…"

She sighed and took Ed's hands in hers.

"Do youse love this man?"

Ed choked.

"Wha?"

"Do youse love this man?" She repeated.

Ed bowed his head.

She smiled.

"Until youse can answer that question without any uncertainty, evens with rings, a dress

ands a beautiful ceremony, youse' will never bes' truly married."

He smiled.

"You're a smart lady…"

She gave him an eyebrow.

"That's not somethin' I would expect tos' hear from a normal teenage girl, but thens' again,

youse are by no means normal."

She held up Ed's auto mail arm and smiled.

"This takes much courage, much endurance, ands much determination."

She put a hand on Ed's shoulder and looked straight in his eyes.

"Youse are an extraordinary person."

He smiled.

"Thank you."

She smiled and stood up with her hands on her hips.

"Well, youse can sleep with him, or youse can sleep in the extra bedroom."

She said and pointed to a door on the far right. The place was a lot larger than it seemed.

He smiled.

She got real close, put both hands on his shoulders and said,

"Edina, dun't evers' feel like youse' don't have no choice… don't evers' feel like youse

have no purpose…"

She paused.

"Youse' do have a purpose…" She whispered.

"You just have to find it..."

She turned from Edward.

"Whatever youse' decide is up to you…"

"What about the festival?" He asked.

She smiled.

"I'm nots feeling well…" She joked.

She then quickly put her hand to Ed's head and said comically,

"Youse don't looks well either! Youse must not go! Youse must stay in bed!"

She turned from him and turned the doorknob as Ed whispered,

"Thank you…"

She turned.

"No sense ins' celebratin somethins' that hasn't been made yet…"

He smiled.

"Not just that…"

He paused. He couldn't say the words, and he didn't have to. She already knew.

"Wes' all have down times in our lives…" She whispered.

"Wes' just need to be reminded on hows' to go up…"

Ed smiled.

"Goodnight Nora."

"Goodnight Edina…"

Ж

Okay, I'm sorry if anyone finds Nora creepy and weird. But I see her as like a Grandma figure. Ed is hurting right now and is all confused and stuff, and since all Roy seems to be thinking about is… ahem… we need someone BESIDES him to help Ed feel better again. Hehe. Well, I hope you liked it and don't forget to REVIEW!


	16. Chapter 16: Tough Grandma

Yes I know, the last chapter was a bore. But this will be MUCH better. hehe

Disclaimer: I NEED TO STOP BEING LAZY AND COPY A DAMN DISCLAIMER THINGY! Anyway, yea, I don't own Full Metal Alchemist and if anyone says I do, I will steal Riza's gun and shoot you all! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Anyway, enjoy:

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Ed had decided to sleep in the extra bedroom. It had cream colored walls and looked very

much like the rest of the house. Only, it was a lot more modern. There were also several

paintings on the wall. One in particular jumped out at him.

It was a painting of an _Alchemist_. A woman with long dark hair. She wore a dark cloak

and her lips seemed to be made of ice. Her skin was pale as the moon and her eyes were

silver. He marveled at it. The woman in the picture was painting a transmutation circle on

an ice wall.

He sighed. "An ice Alchemist, obviously"

He then thought about what Nora had said to him. He _did _in fact, feel a little better… but

he was still a little bit confused.

"Maybe I'm nothing without Alchemy…" He thought.

"Or maybe not…"

He sighed and stared at his auto mail hand. It shimmered in the light of the moon.

"Find a purpose..."

He made a fist.

"I'm a strong person…" He said.

"Even if I am nothing without Alchemy, I'm still a person… and at least _that's _

something…"

He then put his hand down, smiled evilly and said,

"And this person is going to kick Roy's pyro ass tomorrow."

Ж

Roy sighed. He knew that Ed wouldn't be joining him that night. I mean, why would he?

After that disgusting display. He felt so ashamed.

"But…" He thought.

"Ed was so beautiful…"

"Ahh…" Hughes commented.

"Thinking dirty thoughts about " Edina", are we?"

Roy growled and punched him into the wall.

"Go into your own room you creapy photo-freak!"

Hughes comically cried.

"No fair…"

"MOVE IT!" Roy yelled.

"Fine…"

He pouted and left Roy's room.

"Finally some peace and quiet." Roy sighed, put on apair of glasses and picked up his book

from the nightstand.

"Now back to my book…"

"I didn't know you read…" A voice said.

Roy smiled.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me…"

The door then opened. It was Havoc.

Roy smiled. "What can I do for you, Jean?"

Havoc laughed,

"I need a light."

Roy rolled his eyes.

"What happened to your lighter?"

"Outta fluid.."

"S' your own fault, you use that thing too damn much…"

Havoc then got a devious look on his face.

"What?" Roy asked.

"I had hoped it wouldn't come to this…"

He then pulled out his camera and said with a smirk,

"I have a picture of you lying on Edward…"

Roy's eyes became large.

"I'm listening…"

Ж

Morning then brushed against the feathery green of the horizon and all the roosters in the

city began to sing their song. Roy was groaning with a pillow over his head,

"MAKE IT STOP!"

Nora opened his door and knocked on the archway.

"Wake up!"

"MAKE THEM SHUT UP!" He whined.

She laughed.

"Theyres' going to keeps' going until everyone ins' the citys' awake."

Roy continued to moan and groan.

"S' not fair."

"Lifes' not fair, tos' any man."

Roy rolled over and sat up, with a "bed head". Nora giggled.

"Youse' may wants to compose yerself' before youse' do anything else."

He threw a pillow at her as she closed the door.

She opened it again.

"Get up!"

Roy continued to moan and groan.

Nora then, pulled up her sleeves and went to the side of the bed.

"I told youse'…"

Harold stood in the doorway and shook his head.

"Poor man."

Nora then cracked her knuckles, and grabbed the underneath of the mattress. She lifted it

above her head until Roy slid on the floor.

"Oww…"

He hit his head on the floor and yelled.

"Get up!"

"YOU CRAZY OLD LADY!" He yelled.

"YOUSE DENSE, STUPID, IDIOTIC, LAZY, POOR EXCUSE FORS' A MAN!"

Silence.

It was obvious... she _had_ won.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Oi, you're rough." He whined.

She laughed.

"Only whens' I needs' to be…"

He didn't need this. He had already had enough verbal abuse from Havoc that night. He

held his forehead.

"Why does everyone pick on me?" He whined.

Riza leaned in the doorway and commented with a smirk,

"Because you're such an easy target…"

He threw a pillow at her.

She had ducked her head out of the way and teased, "Missed me…"

He then growled something incoherent about crazy old women, and crazy young women."

Havoc laughed and leaned in the doorway.

He gave Roy a devious smile and sang,

"Good morning to you, Good morning to you… the birdies are singing… good morning to

you…"

Roy stood up straight and said, "Yea, but you sure as hell aint' no birdy…" He growled.

"Watch out… he's throwing pillows…" Riza warned him.

"Tsk, tsk…" Havoc said.

"I thought we were passed the terrible threes…"

Roy threw another pillow and Havoc had ducked out of the way in time.

"Ha, ha." He said and made a funny face.

Roy then put his hand into a snap.

"Oh shit…" Havoc said.

Then he smiled, big.

He pointed to Roy's hand and smirked,

"You don't have the "boom-boom"gloves on."

Roy then pulled his other hand from behind his back, which _had _a glove on it.

"This one does…"

This time Havoc _ran_. Roy laughed.

"You are truly sadistic." Hughes said from outside.

Roy laughed and rubbed his fingers across his nightshirt,

"Yes, I am…"

"Not sadistic enough tos' scare me…"

Nora said and threw some clothes at Roy.

He looked at them. They were the clothes he had worn the day before. They smelled nice

and fresh.

"You cleaned the-"

"Yea I did, even those' you dunst' deserve it."

She walked out.

"Well, fine!" Roy yelled back.

Riza smiled,

"Have fun picking up your ego, Roy."

She then closed the door to escape from any further pillow throwing.

Ж

Ed stirred. It was so loud. He yawned and stretched.

"Well, here goes another fine day with Riza and her band of lunatics…"

He got up and stretched some more.

He turned toward the window and someone was there.

"Hey!" Ed yelled, and they ran away.

Ed quickly put on a jacket and zoomed out of the room.

"What is it?" Riza asked.

"Some sicko was watching me sleep!"

Nora opened up her closet and pulled out a rather large wooden stick.

"Was it a man?"

She asked Edward, who was a bit nervous.

"I think so…"

She smiled sadistically.

"Then let's go get 'im…"

Ж

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LMAO! Hehe. Okay.. yea.. I got it back.. I got the funny back… hehe. Well, unfortunately, it might start to get not as funny, so be prepared for that. Anyway, thank you all for your sweet comments and keep leaving more:)

And btw, I wanted to tell you all, Lets say you've reviewed chp 12 and want to review chp 4… GO AHEAD! I love reviews, no matter what chapter, no matter who it's from. I love to hear about what da' peoples like! Hehe. Anyway, just wanted to clear that up. Oh and umm.. REVIEW! Lol


	17. Chapter 17: Surprise Visitor

Okay, here we go again… another demented chapter from Choco. Hehe. Oh, and I apologize for no updates yesterday, it was my mom's birthday. You all better make sure you wish her a Happy Birthday! Lol

Disclaimer: Shut up… just shut up… I do not own them… I do not want to… so bite my big fat…..

Lol

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They ran outside as fast as they could to catch the "peeper."

Ed shivered, and then realized that he was just in a shirt. He had thrown his jacket off much

earlier, in trying to escape from the door.

Of course he had that damn fake bra contraption on. He wouldn't dare sleep without it.

He then felt something warm go around his shoulders. He looked down; it was Roy's

overcoat. Ed sighed as it dragged on the ground.

He looked back at Roy who just gave him a kind of muffled laugh. And then, Roy did the

most surprising thing. Roy picked Ed up onto his back and started carrying him.

Ed didn't protest, but he didn't like it either. He hated being treated small.

"Founds him!" Nora yelled sadistically and started chasing after the stranger.

"Umm… that might _not_ be the smartest-"

When Havoc opened his eyes she had

already ran off.

"Damn."

He hung his head.

"Let's go make sure she doesn't hurt herself…"

Riza suggested.

"Wanna catch your peeper?" Roy asked Ed.

"Yea, and when this is over, I'm gonna kill you."

Roy just kind of laughed and gave a disappointed smile as he said,

"As if you could beat me, bean."

"What?"

"Kidding…"

Ed growled as Roy happily smiled and walked a bit faster to catch up with the others.

"Hurry up slow pokes!" Hughes yelled at Roy and Ed.

"Shove it up your-"

Ed put his hand around Roy's mouth.

"Don't frickin say that…Nora…"

Roy laughed.

He grabbed Ed's hand and kissed it. Ed quickly pulled it back and snapped,

"What drugs are you on?"

Roy just smiled and said,

"The drugs of **love**!"

Ed just shook his head and blushed.

"You're a **dork**."

Roy started laughing.

"Well, it's better than being useless, isn't it?"

"YOURE THAT TOO!"

Roy laughed.

"So I've been told…"

_"Why isn't anything pissing him off?" _Ed thought. _"This isn't good…" _

"I HAVE FOUNDS THE BASTARD!"

Roy's eyes went large and he laughed.

"Don't say "ass"?"

Ed remained silent and Roy sighed triumphantly.

"I win…"

Ж

When they all finally caught up with Nora, she was chasing after someone with the stick.

The "peeper" then began crying out.

"Havoc! Colonel! Lieutenant!"

Havoc hit his head.

"I know who that is!"

But Nora didn't hear him.

"HELP ME!"

"NO ONES CAN HELPS YOU NOW!" Nora yelled.

"MUSTANG!"

Roy laughed.

"Keep runnin', if she catches you, she'll hurt you…"

Roy set Ed down and he laughed and yelled, "Run Fuery! Run!"

Ж

After a couple stick beatings, Nora had finally heard them all yelling that they knew the guy

and she stopped.

"I ams' very sorry…"

She apologized.

Fuery gave a shy smile.

"Yea, don't… worry about… it…."

He stuttered and shrunkhimself into the chair he was sitting in.

"So what are you doing here, besides peeping on Edina?"

Roy asked finally.

"Well, I was ordered- er…"

He saw Nora looking at him and decided to try and rephrase his "report."

"I was allowed to come along, because…" he paused.

"Papa…"

A slight smile went across Havoc's face. This was funny. If he ever saw the Fuhrer again,

he would tell him that Fuery had to call him "Papa…" He would laugh his crazy head off.

"Papa told me to come…"

He said.

Roy gave him an eyebrow.

"Why?"

Fuery gulped.

"Because we have visitors…"

Everyone's eyes went large.

"He just… wants you all… to not worry and…" he paused.

"Enjoy your… vacation…"

Roy started thinking a bit.

_"Visitors…" _This didn't sound good.

"What's up?" Ed asked as he entered the room in appropriate clothes.

"Oh."

Roy said and patted the floor for Ed to come and sit with him. The fire was burning bright

and it was nice and cozy.

Riza sat in a rose style sofa and Havoc stood staring at a picture of a ship above the

fireplace.

Fuery sat in a chair right across from Roy. He was wearing blue jeans and a white and blue

striped shirt. He was also covered in tons of bandages.

"_She got him good." _Riza thought,

Ed then sat down and Roy said with a nervousness in his voice,

"Papa… sent Fuery… because he has visitors, and he says not to worry, and to enjoy our

vacation."

Ed's eyes went large.

_"Visitors? IN __East_ _City__?" _

"Al…" Ed said aloud.

Fuery then remembered something and he stood up quickly.

"Oh… and your brother wants you to know that he's going to West City…with the rest of

the family."

Ed breathed a breath of relief.

"And what about Winry?"

"Oh… y-your sister is returning to her own home…"

Nora cleared her throat and suddenly said,

"Youse can quit withs your code now…"

They all stared at her with very large eyes and she smiled.

"Youse guys are terrible actors…"

Harold poked his head from the other room and yelled,"

Bes nice Nora! Theres' aren't anyones' in those mountains to act for anyway!"

She laughed.

"True…"

They all stared at each other then back at her.

"How did you…?"

"Find out?"

She finished the question.

She laughed and smiled,

"Like I said, youse' guys are bad actors."

Roy laughed and smiled nervously.

"I guess we are."

Havoc started laughing, Followed by Hughes, followed by Riza.

Ed then started laughing, followed by a reluctant Fuery.

"Bad actors, aye?"

Havoc said aloud.

"Sounds like us…"

"Wait a minute… Fuery…"

Roy said suddenly.

"How did you get here?"

"Car."

"So quick?"

Fuery gulped and grabbed at his collar.

"A special car…"

Roy then put on an accusing smile.

"You're not supposed to have that… are you?"

Fuery slowly shook his head.

Roy laughed, got up and slapped Fuery's back with a smile.

"You stole the experimental A-2 didn't you?"

Fuery remained silent, hung his head and nodded.

Roy turned around and looked at all the confused faces.

He sighed.

"It's a really fast car that will help us get to the cabin in less than a few hours…"

They all looked at each other and the rejoicing that took place afterward, could have been

heard all over the city.

Ж

Before leaving, they had all posed for Havoc's camera. He had taken plenty pictures of

everyone, of the cows, and even of Abna, who Ed had decided to not keep after all. Harold

and Nora understood. He didn't have any place for her.

"Would youse like to rides her before youse say goodbye?" Harold had asked.

Of course Ed wanted to. He had never ridden before, but it looked so easy.

And he really liked Abna anyway. He jumped on and nearly fell off when Harold had

smacked Abna's behind.

He did, however, fall off when Abna jumped over a log, which Havoc had taken plenty

pictures of to prove it.

Ed had then predictably chased after Havoc to get the camera destroyed, which didn't

happen.

Nora had packed them some good foreign food, a few useless items, a few HELPFUL

items, and a map.

When they had gotten in the little A-2, they were quite squished, but they all found a way to

fit and fell asleep, except for Fuery, who was driving,

And Havoc who was doing something else.

He rummaged through his back once more and got out his camera. He pointed it at Ed and

Roy sleeping peacefully, holding hands.

"Goodnight, Colonel."

He said with a sly smile, and took the first shot.

Ж

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Okay, I'm mean to poor Fuery (sp?). But a certain someone has gotten me into a Fueryfrenzy, so now I **must** have him in my story. Lol Anyway, REVIEW REVIEW.

And thanks again for all the nice comments, I love you all:)


	18. Chapter 18: Nakey Colonel

Okay, so yea. Got bored again. So here's another chapter for ya. :) Hope you like…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT FRICKING OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST! SO NEH!

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"Wake up sleeping beauty…"

Ed's eyes flicked open and a very familiar blur hovered in front of his face.

"Meow?" Ed whispered.

"What the hell?"

He heard Havoc yell.

Roy scratched his head.

"Did you just… meow?"

Ed sat up straight and rubbed his eyes.

He yawned and moved around a little. He knew he was in the car, because his feet kept

hitting the front seat. Only, they weren't moving.

He yawned again and laid back down where it was warm.

"Full Metal…" Roy whispered.

"Meow?"

Roy looked at Havoc, who also had a small body sleeping on him.

"Fuery…"

Somehow, in the night… Fuery had parked as close as he could to the cabin, and stretched

himself across the front seat, to lay on Havoc.

Havoc flicked Fuery's ear and whispered.

"Cain… wake up…"

"Need some help?"

A voice called from not too far away.

Roy had wondered where Riza and Hughes had gone.

They had gotten up in the night, and gone to sleep in the cabin.

"How embarrassing this is…"

Roy thought.

Havoc smiled.

Since he was the one with the camera, no one got any pictures of _him_.

Riza then leaned into the car with Havoc's camera and threw it to him.

"You might need this later."

She gave him a feral smile and he sighed.

"Oh well…"

The wind blew slightly, and all the birds sang. Roy could see the cabin from where he was,

but barely. It was covered by too much foliage.

He unbuckled his seat belt and went to unbuckle Ed's only to find he hadn't buckled it in

the first place.

Roy sighed.

"Kids…"

Riza opened the back door and helped Roy out, who was carrying a "dead Ed".

It was really hard to navigate through so much foliage, he gained a couple scratches trying

to keep the branches away from Ed, but he was so cute when he slept. Roy just didn't have

the heart to wake him.

The cabin looked to be made completely of wood. The roof was made of shingles and he

smiled.

"At least it's not a straw roof…"

The "dead Ed" in his arms moved around a bit and whispered,

"Meow…"

Roy was confused, and his face showed it.

"What the hell?"

He then felt something bump into him.

"Hurry up Mustang…"

Havoc growled, sleepily.

He had something "dead" in his arms too.

"Dead dog." Roy thought.

Hughes then opened the door of the cabin and sang,

"Welcome to your honeymoon suite, where you can sweep your brides right off their feet!"

Roy handed Ed to Riza, pulled up his sleeves and ran after Hughes.

"Edward!" Riza yelled.

Roy quickly ran back and angrily whispered,

"Don't wake him up!"

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Idiot…"

Ж

When Fuery awoke, all he could see were blurs. He immediately knew his glasses were off.

He felt around for them. He was on a canvas style couch, and the room was very warm.

There were a couple soft velvet-like pillows around him. He reached over to the ends of

the couch for a stand of some kind. He felt something wooden.

It was soft wood and had quite a few scratches in it. He finally found his glasses.

He looked around as his eyes adjusted. He was in the cabin.

Over to his right there was another sofa, and a sleeping Ed.

He was kind of afraid of Edward, so he would never wake him up.

The room smelled of pine and cedar. He breathed in. He could smell a fire.

He looked behind the sofa and there was a fireplace across the next room.

He got up and stretched. This sure was a cozy room. He looked at the walls.

There were pictures of boats, animals and places.

A single set of deer antlers adorned the top of the fireplace.

Fuery was immediately angered. He stood up straight and walked into the other room.

He tried to reach the antlers. But he was too short. He looked to the side of him.

There was a dining table and some chairs.

"Aha!"

He whispered and smiled.

The table and chairs were all wooden as well. They were dark brown and soft.

There was a chandelier over the eight chair table.

It was filled with beautiful white candles.

He admired it, then brought his attention back to the chairs. They were large chairs.

"_Probably made of some very heavy wood too_." He sighed.

He then pulled up his sleeves and took a deep breath. He started dragging one of the large

chairs across the floor. It was heavy. Just as he thought.

He had to yank the chair very hard and make it jump in order for it to get anywhere.

"Need some help?" A voice asked.

Fuery immediately dropped the chair and stood at attention.

"At ease Cain, they're no ranks here." Riza said and smiled.

Fuery relaxed a bit and looked at the chair.

"Do you need some help?" She repeated.

"Umm… I was just.. uh…"

Riza smiled and pointed to the antlers.

"Going to take those down?"

He slightly blushed.

"Yea…"

She smiled.

"Then I'll help you."

She walked over to the fireplace and reached up. But she was too short as well.

She growled.

"Well, so much for that…"

She looked at Fuery, who was a bit saddened.

"Sorry…"

"Its alright."

"Hello ladies and gents!" A voice then yelled.

"No need to fear, your Colonel is here!"

Riza sighed.

"Idiot…"

He walked out of the hallway in nothing but a towel. He had just gotten out of the shower,

so he was wet as well.

Fuery turned around and Riza growled.

"Shouldn't you put something a bit more appropriate on?" She said and twitched with anger.

"Nonsense!"

He then walked mightily over to the fire place and reached for the antlers.

He grabbed them, but his towel came off in the process.

Fuery backed away and his eyes went large.

Riza started laughing.

"What?"

Roy asked.

Fuery fearfully pointed to the Colonel's exposed XXXX and trembled.

Roy looked down.

"oops…"

He then turned around looking for the towel.

Fuery fell onto the ground and backed himself as far into the wall as he could, still pointing

with a terrified look on his face.

"It's not THAT scary, is it?" Roy asked and posed.

Fuery then got up and ran down the hall screaming,

"The Colonels' naked!"

"Oh lord…" Havoc sighed and laughed.

He then walked to his door and opened it to let the frightened Fuery in.

Ж

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Just wait till Ed wakes up. Hehe. Anyway, REVIEW REVIEW. Lol. Love you all.

Note: In the next chapter, the "A-2" will be explained... and the "visitor" thing will be

explained. Sorry if I'm ruining the "surprise" for anyone, but I've had several people on

AIM ask about it. So yea. I thought I'd let you all know. Well, let me know if you like it,

and if you don't, I still wanna know. Thanks. :)


	19. Chapter 19: Truth Time

Okay, so here we go. I got SOME funny goin on, but not a whole ton. This is where it will get not as funny. I apologize in advance for that. Anyway, here ya go:

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters or anything so LEMME ALONE!

Except, I've figured something out… NORA IS MINE. Lol. And youse' can't haves' her so nana! hehe

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When Edward awoke, he whispered to himself, "Did I just dream I was a cat?" He then

opened his eyes and there was a naked man standing in front of him.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Ed then rolled over quick and yelled,

"PUT SOME FRICKIN CLOTHES ON YOU PERVERT!"

Roy pranced around and sang,

"Since I'm a foodist, I think I'll be a nudist…"

"That makes absolutely no sense, Sir." Riza said, while holding her face in her hand and

twitching.

"Is that even a word?"

"IF YOU GO NUDIST I'LL DISOWN YOU!" Ed yelled.

Roy sat down on the sofa and tapped Ed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Roy smiled slyly.

"Do I _belong_ to you now?"

Ed blushed and covered his head with a pillow.

"SHUT UP AND GO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

Roy sighed.

"I guess no one can stand to look at me since I'm so beautiful."

"It's not cause you're beautiful I can tell you that!" Havoc yelled from the hallway.

Roy pouted.

"Fine…"

He grabbed his towel, flung it over his shoulder and walked off.

After a few moments, Fuery poked his head out from the hallway and whispered, "Is he gone?"

Edward raised his hand and said,

"Yes, the scary man left."

Fuery sighed and wiped some sweat from his head.

"Check it out…" Riza said and pointed outside at the antlers in a tree.

"No! We should bury it!"

Fuery yelled and ran outside.

Havoc sighed.

"He likes animals too much…"

He then casually walked outside and closed the door behind him.

Riza closed the curtains and said,

"I definitely do not want to see what they do when they think no one is watching…"

Ed laughed then sat up straight and laughed. He then thought about something.

"Shouldn't we ask about the "visitors"?

Riza frowned. "He told me last night when we were in the car…"

"You weren't asleep?"

"No…"

Ed blushed.

"I… I…"

Riza smiled and made the "zipped lips" hand gesture.

It was pretty embarrassing to fall asleep on the Colonel. And Ed knew about it. Of course

he knew about it.

He did it on purpose.

Ed sighed and leaned back into the sofa.

"So tell me…"

"They were attacked, just like Central…"

Ed gasped.

"But Central has been re-populated and they're setting up a defense around it and the entire

city." She paused.

"They're not going to loose that Headquarters again and they are definitely _not _loosing that

city..."

She sighed and stood up.

"You know this is all because they're looking for you, right?"

A tear tickled at the edge of his eye and he shivered as he thought about what had happened

at Headquarters.

"Why are they doing this?" Ed asked.

Riza sighed.

"That's not important, what's important is that we won't back down."

Ed sighed and smiled sadly.

"They're doing this to find me…"

Riza turned around with large eyes.

Sadness gripped her heart but she fought it.

"That may be… but we still don't know much…"

Ed sighed.

"Was anyone hurt?"

Riza bowed her head.

"Everyone got out safe except for two officers. They both died."

Ed closed his eyes and winced as if the news hurt him physically.

"Anyone you know?"

She shook her head.

"One was a newbie, and the other was a new transfer from the North."

He bowed his head.

"Did they have families?"

Riza brought her head up and stared at Ed.

"Everyone has families of some kind…"

Ed winced again.

"I meant… did either of them have children… or wives?"

Riza turned away from Ed and sighed.

"The transfer had two children and three grandchildren."

Another wince. She felt bad for telling him this, but she wasn't going to lie to him. He

deserved to know. And she had figured out he knew it

was because of him. She would tell him everything he wanted to know… well, almost

everything.

"And the other?" He whispered.

"The other was a woman."

A violent wince. Ed threaded his hands into his hair and pulled on it.

Riza turned around and saw him crumble into pieces. She knew she was slowly pushing a

nail into his heart, but she had to.

"Did she… was she a mother?"

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

Riza closed her eyes and nodded her head.

"She was a mother of two. Two boys…"

Ed's eyes became large.

"I killed a mother…"

He whispered.

Roy then wandered into the room and glared at Riza.

"What have you been telling him?"

He growled.

Riza walked to Roy and stopped beside him.

"I'm sorry…"

She then walked down the hall and slowly went into her room.

Roy slowly and carefully sat down on the sofa next to Ed.

"What did she tell you?"

He asked, stern with fear.

Ed trembled.

"I killed a mother… and a grandfather…"

Roy sighed angrily and stared at the trembling body.

He slowly slid his hand across Ed's back, offering comfort.

Whether he would take it or not, Roy didn't know. But he was going to offer it either

way. Ed didn't do anything. Just sat there, softly crying.

Roy sighed sadly, and pulled Ed to him. Ed angrily pushed away.

"Don't!"

"Did I do something wrong?"

Roy whispered.

"No.." Ed whispered back.

"Just… I just…When you… I feel…"

Roy then understood. Ed didn't want to be weak. He sighed.

He stood up and Ed opened an eye to see if Roy was leaving.

He didn't leave. He just stood there. His hair was still wet and it dripped on Edward.

Roy then very swiftly and very carefully pickedhimup.

Ed yelled and cried,

"Put me down! I don't want to be picked up! Leave me alone! Why do you always pick me

up?"

He then broke down completely as Roy stepped down the hall to "their" room."

The room was dark because the window was closed and there were no lights on. The walls

were a medium lavender and the bed was a dark royal blue.

He put Edward down into the bed and carefully covered him with the blue velvet-like

blanket. Ed rolled over and cried into the soft pillow.

Roy sat down at the edge of the bed, making it squeak, and sighed.

"What can I do?"

He sighed.

"I feel so…" He smiled sadly and said, "Useless…"

Ed laughed a bit still with tears in his eyes and said,

"That's because you are…"

Roy laughed sadly then whispered,

"There must be something I can do…"

Ed took a deep breath and said,

"You can tell me why they're after me, and I know you know, so please…"

He paused.

"Tell me…"

Ж

"How the hell does this thing work?" Havoc asked, staring at the small black vehicle.

"It's not a thing…" Fuery corrected him.

"It's the experimental A-2."

Havoc stepped around the car and noticed there was no gas cap.

"What does this thing run on?" He asked.

Fuery smiled. "Energy."

Havoc's eyes went large.

"Whoa… high-tech stuff…"

Fuery nodded his head.

"What does the A-2 thing mean?" Havoc asked and sat on a log nearby for a smoke.

"Alice two."

Eh?" Havoc gave him an eyebrow.

"The car is named "Alice" after the original designer… and two because this is the second

model…"

Havoc nodded his head in understanding.

"So where's the other one?"

Fuery smiled nervously and said, "She blew up."

Havoc gasped in and choked on his cigarette smoke.

His eyes teared and he hacked.

Fuery began laughing.

Havoc looked at the wet cigarette and threw it behind him.

"They're bad for me anyway…"

Fuery nodded his head and said while still laughing, "They sure are…"

Havoc looked up at Fuery and growled.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Havoc then noticed something behind Fuery's back.

"What do you have there?"

"Nothing…" Fuery laughed and smiled.

"This certainly isn't like you… must be something bad…"

Havoc slowly got up then fell backwards.

Suddenly, as he got up, with a mess of leaves in his hair, a bright flash blinded him.

"Oh… you're gonna get it!" Havoc yelled and started chasing after Fuery.

Fuery just laughed and yelled behind him, "Since you smoke, you'll never catch up with

me!"

Havoc leaned down and put his hands above his knees, trying to catch his breath.

He watched Fuery speed away with his camera and growled.

"Damn cigarettes…"

Ж

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Okay, yes, I know Fuery is acting all weird. But I think that if anyone really took the time to get to know him, he'd be just as playful as Hughes… okay… maybe not AS playful… hehe. Anyway, REVIEW, REVIEW! And thanks for leaving such nice comments.

°Hugs **Fallen Angel of Darkness** and says, "Dont you _dare_ AIM me."° lol j/k


	20. Chapter 20: Flashback I

I'm supposed to be doing homework again… but I just couldn't wait to start typing this up. Lol .I know I'm so weird. Yea yea, make fun of me all you want. Hehe.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST SO YEA! Lol

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Roy took a deep breath and stared at Edward who was trembling beneath the blue velvet

blanket.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Ed snapped. He had stopped crying for the most part.

But now he was in a bad mood.

Roy scratched his head and chewed on his thumbnail.

Ed then stood up straight and grabbed Roy's hand from his mouth.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I'm thinking."

Roy then pulled his hand from Ed's grip and held it.

Ed blushed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm thinking…"

Roy didn't know whether he should just tell Ed or not. There were so many secrets woven

into it, it would be hard to explain.

And then.. above all things… it might hurt Edward. But then, he DID deserve to know…

Even if it meant Ed's opinion of Roy might change for

the worse, forever.

He took another breath, let go of his hand, and stood up.

"I have a strange request…"

Ed rolled over to look at him.

"What is it?"

"Before I tell you…"

He looked away.

"Can I hold you?"

Ed blushed.

"umm…"

Roy turned away and stared at the wall.

"I can understand if you don't want me to…"

He paused.

"I'll tell you anyway, but I just… before I…"

He paused.

"Before I make you hate me…"

All went silent.

Only the air coming in and out of Roy's chest could be heard.

"Okay.." A small voice said.

Roy sighed and sadly smiled.

"Is this really okay? I'll tell you even if you don't let me…"

"I said okay!" Ed snapped and Roy was turned around in a flash.

He quickly sat down on the bed and pulled Ed into his arms.

He held on as tight as he could and closed his eyes.

He then took in a large breath and proceeded to tell him the whole, sad story.

"A few years ago, one our best Alchemists was kidnapped by an young terrorist group."

He paused.

"He was the best Alchemist in East city. And he held many government secrets in his

mind… we had to get him back. We didn't know much about the group. Only that their

color was Red and that they were all over the world. Their name was "The Red Claw".

Roy continued talking as his mind drifted to the past. The horrible past which he didn't

want to remember…

"We have to do something!" A man yelled.

"They have Dennings! This is Dennings we're talking about!" Another man yelled.

"Yes, we do have a plan, gentlemen." A tall bald man announced.

"I hope it's a good one."

"Of course it is… Mr…?"

"Call me Mustang."

Ж

"This really is low, you know?" Roy commented.

"Yea, just deal with it. It's the only plan they've got." A blonde man said back.

Roy sighed.

"But she's just a little kid, Tony… We shouldn't bring her into it."

"Baloney… she's fifteen. Well old enough to understand what's going on."

Roy sighed again.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Now get out of that stupid uniform and put your suit on."

"Yes sir…"

Roy jumped out of the black van and looked back as it sped away.

"Just grab her…" The words echoed through his head. He did _not _want to be doing this. It

was raining and the nice suit he was in was going

to get ruined. "Oh well…" He said and smiled. "Not like it's mine."

He walked down to the street corner and stood around. The rain slid down his hat and made

it look like he had his own little storm right in front of his face.

Then, he saw her. She was running down the street with a book over her head. She was

soaking wet. Her dark hair stuck to her face and she looked miserable. She was a blue zip-

up sweat shirt and dark blue jeans. Roy smiled. He pulled out his black umbrella and

whispered to the rain, "Right on time…"

"Excuse me, miss?" He said in his most charming voice.

She stared at him.

"You look like you could use some help…"

He held out his open umbrella.

"Yes kind sir, thank you."

They began walking down the street, under his big black umbrella.

"So, where're you from?"

She asked.

"Uhh.." He stuttered.

"I know you're not from around here…"

He cleared his throat and said, "Don't be silly, of course I'm from around here."

"Oh yea? If you live in this wonderful city, what street do you live on?"

He laughed.

"You're sharp."

"Yea… I got it from my father. That _is _why you're here, isn't it?"

Roy stopped in his tracks.

"How did you?"

She laughed.

"I'm not some naive little girl…"

He shook his head and laughed.

"No, I guess not."

She smiled.

"Then you should know I won't go willingly…"

He shook his head.

"Didn't think so."

She then took his umbrella and started running away.

"Idiot girl… you didn't have to take my umbrella!" She laughed.

"Of course I did… it wouldn't be any fun if _you _didn't get a little wet, now would it?"

Ж

When he finally caught her, she laughed.

"Took you long enough…"

He smiled.

"You're a fast runner."

"So are you…"

He was holding her hands behind her back and walking towards the van.

"You can let go… you caught me… I've been beaten…"

Roy laughed.

"I'm not that stupid…"

She smiled.

"Guess not."

She looked back before they pulled her into the van and said,

"What's you're name?"

"Roy."

She smiled.

"Nice to meet you Roy. My name is Alexa…"

"Nice work Mustang!" Tony said from the driver's seat.

"It wasn't that hard."

Alexa looked a bit hurt as they pulled her in.

"Ow… don't pull that so tight! It hurts!" She growled as they tied her up.

Roy frowned when he noticed how rough they were being.

"Take it easy guys!"

Tony then stepped out of the truck and shut the van door.

He walked over to Roy and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe you should sit this one out, Mustang."

Roy hung his head.

"Maybe you're right…"

"Of course I'm right, I'm always right."

He smiled and got back into the van.

He then tosses Roy a couple civilian credits and said,

"Get yourself on a train. We'll meet you back at East city…"

Roy nodded his head.

He stuck it into his pocket and before walking away he said to Tony with a sad expression,

"Isn't there any other way to do this?"

Tony shook his head.

"I'm afraid not. They got someone valuable.. and now we do too…"

Roy hung his head.

"I should have expected that…"

The van then drove away and Roy picked up his umbrella.

"Things never seem to change…"

Ж

"Mustang!"

"Yes sir?"

You're to accompany Smill and Rizon to the switch.

"What?"

"You're the second best Alchemist in East city. We'll need you there."

"But, Colonel Tony Fairow said I could sit it out."

"That's very nice, but I'm the Furher…"

"Yes sir."

"Good boy… now get going…"

Ж

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Okay… I'm going too much into the flashback. But I love it! Hehe. Anyway.. hope you enjoyed it. And if you didn't, I still want to know about it. So yea. Laters. oh and yea. REVIEW, REVIEW!


	21. Chapter 21: Flashback II

Arr… thar be dark writins' up ahead. Arr… Ye has been warned… :)

Disclaimer: Why do I even bother? (FMA IS NOT MINE SO YEA)

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Roy sighed. "Are you paying attention?"

"Yes." Alexa said with an unconvincing smile.

"Do you understand that you have been kidnapped and that we are now going to switch you

with our Alchemist?"

Alexa played with his hair. "You should let it grow…"

Roy sighed. "You're not paying attention at all."

Alexa smiled. "Like I need to. I know the drill… my daddy told me exactly what to do if

this ever happened…"

"What'd he tell you to do?"

She smiled evilly and flicked his ear.

"He told me to get a good look at my kidnappers…"

She paused and stopped walking.

"Why?" Roy asked, fearfully.

She smiled.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

They walked down the stone road to a nearby bridge in the heat of day. The birds were

chirping loudly and the hum ofthe wind blew in the air.

Roy sighed.

"I'm being manipulated by a child…"

She then jumped in front of him and yelled.

"I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a child!"

Roy smiled and put his hand on her head.

"Yes you are."

He walked in front of her.

"Are you coming or what?"

She laughed.

"So care-free… you know… I could just run away."

Roy turned around and stared at her.

"I know you won't."

She growled.

"Damn you…"

"Mustang!" A voice called.

"Yea Rizon… over here!"

A tall slim blonde man ran towards them and yelled,

"Why the hell aren't you holding a gun?"

Alexa laughed.

"Because he doesn't need one…"

Rizon then looked at her with wild eyes and growled,

"Don't speak to me, wench!"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

He frowned.

Roy then went in front of her and said,

"It looks better this way. No one will suspect anything…"

Rizon looked at Roy, then looked at Alexa.

"I still want a gun on you."

Roy winked.

"I still have this you know…"

He pulled out his gloved hand and put it into a snap.

Rizon jumped out of the way of it and yelled,

"You want to turn me into barbecue, Boy?"

Roy smiled. "Not at all…"

Roythen looked at Alexa.

"But if she gives me any problems… I can always use this…"

Rizon frowned once more and growled,

"You Alchemists think you're so great…"

He then spat at Roy's feet and walked off.

"Don't you dare spit at him you fat pig!"

Alexa yelled. She tried to run after him, but Roy held her back.

"You big fat ugly pig!"

"He'll shoot you."

"But he spit at you!"

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does… he insulted you!"

"It's normal. I don't mind.

"You should!"

"But I don't…"

Alexa frowned and pouted.

"I could have kicked his ass you know…"

"Yea, and you have also been shot…"

He paused.

"Is that what you want?"

"No."

"Good."

"Let's get this over with…"

Alexa frowned again.

"Will you come visit me in Kilbir, someday?"

Roy smiled.

"Sure…"

Ж

By this time, Ed had wrapped his arms around Roy as well. Roy trembled as he came back

to the present. He breathed in and smelled Edward.

Nothing but Edward.

"You cared about her?" Ed whispered.

Roy closed his eyes and said sadly, "Very much so. She was like the spunky little sister I

never had…"

Roy sighed and held onto Ed even tighter.

"You're killing me…" Ed whispered and laughed a bit. Roy tightened his grip and sadly

smiled.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay…"

Silence.

"If you don't want to tell me the whole thing, it's really okay."

"No. You wanted to know. So I'll tell you…"

He took in a deep breath and continued speaking as he left his mind wander to the past once

more.

"The day of the switch, was just… I don't know how to describe it. It was so eerie."

He paused.

"When we arrived, the air all around us seemed to be thick with death and misery…"

"The deal was three people on each side including the captives..."

He paused.

"I had no idea what a huge mistake that was..."

Ж

"Thick fog." Roy commented.

"Yea…" Alexa said back and held onto Roy's arm.

"Ready?" a short black haired man asked in a sharp manner.

"Yea…" Roy responded and cut through the fog, very slowly, with Alexa at his side.

Then they saw them. Three silhouettes in the fog. Right at the border between Jemnia and

Kilbir.

"Alexa?" A voice called.

"Yes daddy! I'm here!"

"Shhh…" Roy told her. She smiled. "Sorry…"

"Do you have Dennings?"

"Yes…"

"Send him over…"

"Send Alexa first…"

"No… Dennings first…"

"It's alright, daddy. They won't cheat you!" Alexa yelled.

Roy put a finger to his mouth and she smiled again.

"Sorry…"

Silence.

"I still want my daughter first!"

Alexa looked up at Roy and gave him a sad smile.

"Can I go?"

Roy sighed.

She then hugged him and said,

"Please do come visit me…"

He smiled and nodded his head.

She then skipped into the fog to the other three silhouettes.

"Now Dennings!"

The silhouette laughed and said with a diabolical tone.

"Here's your precious Alchemist!"

Suddenly, Roy saw something coming at him from the mist.

"Roy, look out!" Alexa yelled and her voice was then muffled.

Roy's nose was overcome by a horrible and strange smell. He grabbed his nose and put his

hand in front of him.

"Oh Mustang!" A crazed and warped voice called as the silhouette came closer.

Smill then went in front of Roy with a gun and yelled, "Watch out!"

He started firing and the thing… and whatever it was… jumped him.

The thing then disappeared.

Roy heard Rizon call out in pain and Roy was left all alone.

He then heard laughing.

"How do you like your new Alchemist?"

A man's silhouette then appeared in front of him. It appeared to have something on a chain.

When the one silhouette came into view, Roy felt as though he might throw up. It had

Dennings' face. But it wasn't Dennings.

It's body was warped and twisted in a way Roy couldn't even begin to describe. It's skin

was a sick green color. It had the feet of a reptilian,

but the rest of his body resembled a bunch of rocks crushed together in a warped manner.

His organs were threaded on the outside of his skin and his hands were clawed with fur.

"Not quite a Chimera…" The man said and laughed.

"But not quite… not…"

"You're a sick bastard!" Roy called out and felt his stomach churn.

The man then pulled back on the chain and the thing growled.

"Let me eat him!"

The thing yelled.

"No…"

He paused and cackled.

"He's valuable."

"I won't do anything for you!" Roy yelled and made a snap.

"Uh uh uh…" The man said and stepped a bit forward.

"You burn me… you brun the girl."

He had her in front of him and held a knife to her neck.

"Daddy! Stop!"

Alexa yelled.

The man pulled the knife higher and yelled to Roy,

"Its your choice!"

The man cackled.

"Time's running out…"

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Ick. Description icky enough for ya? Gross.. I was actually eating through that. Lol. Anyway, thank you all for your great support and sweet comments. Although, KEEP LEAVING MORE! Hehe. REVIEW, REVIEW:) Thanks again.


	22. Chapter 22: The HalfTold Secret

Okay, I wanted to apologize for the two days of no updates. I had an exit exam and also it seems as though I've come down with a cold. I'm very sorry and I hope you all still love me. :(

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Roy stopped talking. All went silent for a few moments when Ed lightly tapped him. "

"Roy?" He whispered.

Roy trembled.

Ed tried to pull back, to look at Roy's face, but Roy pulled him closer.

Ed threaded his fingers through Roy's hair and sighed.

"Let's sleep…"

No answer. Roy just continued to tremble every now and then. Ed then pulled Roy closer

and leaned back. Ed fought back his own tears and said with a growl,

"You're supposed to say something perverted about being on top of me you moron!"

Roy then pulled his head up and stared at Ed with tears in his eyes. They gleamed and

shined. Edward was heartbroken.

But then, his spirits were lifted as Roy began to laugh.

"You truly are a strange one…" Roy said with a laugh.

Ed brought his hand up to Roy's eye and wiped the tears that remained.

"You really don't have to tell me…"

Roy sighed.

"There's not really much more to tell…"

He felt tears swell again.

"It all went so fast. Her father let Dennings go and it turned around to go after him."

He paused.

"I _did _kill it… but then, when I tried to kill Alexa's father, to end it once and for all, she…"

He paused.

"Even though he was going to use her to save his own despicable life…"

He teared up.

"She got in the way… and…"

He brought his head down onto Edward's chest and softly cried.

Ed put a couple pillows behind his back and sat a bit higher so he could hold onto Roy better.

Roy sighed.

"This isn't right… It's supposed to be the other way around…"

Ed laughed.

"Don't be a jerk…"

Roy then took a deep breath.

"Edward…"

He pulled up a little from Ed and looked him straight in the eye.

"What happened next…"

He paused.

Ed closed his eyes and smiled.

"I told you, you don't have to tell me, now shut up and go to sleep."

"I BECAME ONE OF THEM!"

Silence.

Roy sighed.

"He used the fact that I killed his daughter against me. I had no choice… it was… stupid

and horrible… and something I will regret for the rest of my life!"

Ed's heart beat faster and he felt as though he might just regurgitate what little food he had saved away in his stomach.

"You…" Ed whispered.

"You mean…"

He paused.

"YOU MADE THOSE THINGS?"

He then started crying.

He then pushed Roy away and yelled,

"You made those horrible things? Those things that were once human. Those things with

such sad eyes. Those things that deserve to be killed on sight!"

Roy sighed.

"I told you, you would hate me."

Ed continued to cry.

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO SUCH A THING! HOW

COULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER IT?"

Roy sighed.

"I don't know…"

He then felt more hot tears stream down his face. Tears of fire. Tears of _the _fire. Him.

Ed put his hand over his face and trembled.

Roy got up all the way and sunk down onto the floor.

"I didn't want you to know…"

He trembled.

"I didn't want you to know about any of it."

He paused.

"But it's true. I made those horrible things…"

He took in a deep breath.

"But I also know how to unmake them…"

Ed then stopped crying.

"What do you mean?"

Roy slapped his hand over his mouth and more tears streamed down his face.

"No…"

He said.

"I can't let this happen…"

Ed was off the bed and in Roy's face in less than two seconds.

He shook Roy.

"Tell me."

"I can't Edward…"

"TELL ME!"

"I CANT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?"

He paused.

"If I tell you… you'll try it… and…"

He breathed in and trembled as he did.

"You have too much to live for. You have that beautiful innocence that must never be

destroyed…"

He paused.

"You shouldn't know about any of this!"

Ed then grabbed Roy's hand away from his face and held it.

"It's why she said, "save us" …"

He paused and stared into Roy's eyes. He knew that if he was right, Roy's eyes would tell

him so. And they did.

"There's something that I can do…"

Roy sighed.

"Yes… But…"

"But?"

"Some of them have no hope…"

He paused.

"It won't even matter if you can do it… for some of them; their minds are so long gone

that they have lost all emotions and conscious thought."

He paused.

"All they know is what they are told and that is it…"

He sighed and trembled again.

"But…"

He looked into Ed's eyes and pulled him to his chest.

"You can't do it!"

Ed sighed.

"But it will save so many…"

"Doesn't matter... you're worth more than all of them and more…"

Ed felt his heart beat faster and he felt Roy's beat in his ears. He closed his eyes and a tear

fell down his cheek. He knew that whatever this was, it would take his life from him.

Roy sighed.

"I shouldn't have told you any of this…"

Ed pulled himself up and stared Roy in the eyes.

"But you did, and you need to tell me the rest! How can I help them?"

Roy shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you do it…"

"Who are you to make decisions for me?"

He growled.

"If I want to help someone then I will!"

"Even if it means ending your own life?"

Ed sighed and held Roy's face.

"If it's the right thing to do…"

Roy closed his eyes and winced.

"Are you in that much of a hurry to die?"

Ed was taken aback. What was this all of a sudden? Well, he was still a bit shocked that the

Colonel, of all people was crying. But this… this was something new. This was something

unexpected.

"Are you?" He repeated.

Ed sighed and closed his eyes.

"Al will understand… I'm sure he can find the philosopher's stone on his own. He doesn't

need my help. He'd get along fine on his own…"

Roy was then filled with a blast of anger and yelled,

"Your brother may be fine without you, but I won't be!"

Ж

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Wow, it's early. Um yea.. I kinda felt like I owed you guys this chapter since I miss two days. If you didn't read the top, it's because of an exit exam and I have caught the more horrid of things… the common cold. Lol. So yes. I think I may change a few things in this chapter later on, and I'll let you all know if I do. So yea. REVIEW, REVIEW! Laters.

Oh, and I have a request. I would like you all to be nice little reviewers and take the time to tell me about one specific thing you liked, and one specific thing you didn't like. I'm basically askin for crits so yea. If you don't want to, that's fine, but for those of you that will, thank you, it really helps. Thanks again.


	23. Chapter 23: Disappearance

Okay, I just wanted to thank you all for such wonderful comments! Hehe °kicks heraldfalls° lol j/k Thank you very much for pointing that out! Hehe °Hugs heraldfalls° Me wuvvs you :) Anyway, I have the nasal voice right now and it's kind of funny because I read what I write out loud. Lol. I kind of sound like that Sarah chick from CSI. Lol Don't ask. Anyway, on to the fic. Oh and I don't know if it's going to be a death fic or not. But if it turns out to be one, I, myself, will cry. So don't be worrying too much… I don't think I could handle that. Lol

Oh, and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask them! Any questions at all.. except for ones like, "What's going to happen next?" lol If you have a specific concern or question, you can ask here or even e-mail me. That would be great. Anyway, on to the story…

Disclaimer: I swear on the sinus build-up in my nose, that I do not own or even _want _to own FMA.

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Roy then choked on his words and stood up.

"Forget about it…"

He started walking to the door.

"You should try to get used to this cabin… we're going to be here a while…"

And with that, he opened the door and left Edward all alone.

"Stupid old man…" He grumbled under his breath.

He slowly began to break down and rocked himself back and forth as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

"You stupid old man…"

Ж

Roy grabbed an extra blanket and pillow from the closet in the hall next to Riza and

Hughes' rooms. Havoc and Feury were sharing a room.

Roy shook his head and tried to smile. "That pervert…"

He then walked out to the living room to find Fuery and Havoc occupying the sofa.

"Ahem…" Roy cleared his throat.

No answer.

They were completely oblivious of anything besides each other.

"They have a room that they SHARE…"

He leaned against the hall and laughed.

He then cleared his throat again, dropped the pillow and blanket, and shouted,

"YOU CAN MAKE OUT IN YOUR ROOM, YOU KNOW…"

Suddenly he heard an "Oww.." And an "Oh my god…"

Roy sighed and laughed.

"I never get too rusty."

He smiled.

"Well, Roy, you're fine now. See?" He thought to himself.

"Ed's not going to be able to do anything, if he doesn't know about it. Just keep relaxing.

Enjoy your… "Vacation."

He sighed.

"Vacations are nice…"

Suddenly Fuery whizzed passed him and slammed Havoc's door.

Havoc's lip was bleeding and Roy laughed.

"He bit you?"

"You scared him…"

Roy laughed.

"You have a room…"

Havoc wiped his lip and growled,

"You didn't have to yell."

Roy smiled and responded,

"But then it wouldn't be any fun…"

"Ed's right, you are a stupid old man…"

Silence.

Havoc held his mouth and his eyes went large.

"Oh shit…"

Roy took a breath.

"AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING A 43 MILLION YEAR OLD MOSQUITO WHO HAS

BEEN PETRIFIED IN DINOSAUR POOP AND STILL HAS DINOSAUR BLOOD IN

IT'S BODY BECAUSE IT WAS AROUND WHEN THEY WERE AROUND AND IT

HAS YET TO GET RID OF IT BECAUSE ITS BEEN PETRIFIED FOR SO DAMN

LONG?"

Roy took another breath.

"I'M OLDER THAN DIRT? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?"

Suddenly, a pillow was thrown at his head.

"You know, some of us are trying to sleep!" Riza yelled.

Roy glared at her, and then stared down at the pillow.

Havoc was still sitting on the sofa.

"I don't think he has to go to the bathroom anymore…" Roy thought and smiled

triumphantly.

He then slowly leaned down to grab the pillow.

Suddenly, there was something cold and metal pressed to his head.

He looked up at Riza and smiled.

She glared.

"If you pick up the pillow, you'll look like the inside of one…"

Roy smiled nervously.

"Heh… umm… sorry?"

Riza smiled.

"Good boy."

She picked up the pillow and put her gun away.

He then grabbed his own pillow and threw it at her.

She scowled at him and growled.

"Do I detect a hint of… detest?" Roy said with a smirk.

She then hit him across the head with the pillow and stormed off to her room.

Havoc laughed.

"You certainly don't have a way with blondes…"

Roy laughed.

"Maria and Louise sure liked me fine…"

Havoc sighed.

"You're hopeless."

Roy sighed.

"Yes, I know."

He then grabbed his pillow and blanket and sat down on the sofa opposite of Havoc.

Havoc laughed.

He then smiled deviously and said in a British accent,

"Having trouble with the Mrs.?"

Roy threw one of the sofa pillows and Havoc and sighed.

"I told him…"

Havoc pulled out a cigarette and said with it in his mouth,

"That you like him?"

Roy's eyes went large and he blushed.

He then covered his face with his pillow and cleared his throat.

"No, Havoc… that's not what I told him… well, not technically…"

Havoc lit his cigarette, took a puff and said,

"Well, then you told him about Alexa…"

Roy sighed.

"Yea…"

Havoc shook his head.

"I trust you didn't tell him about… _that."_

Roy took the pillow from his face and looked at him.

"About what?"

Havoc turned his head from side to side and said with a nervous tone,

"About… him… and the alchemists… and that…"

Roy shook his head then slowly nodded it.

Havoc hit his head and yelled,

"How could you tell him something like that?"

Roy sighed.

"I didn't… he figured it out all on his own…"

Havoc looked confused.

Roy sighed again.

"He doesn't know how… all he knows is he can…"

Havoc nodded and took another puff.

"That could prove to be a problem."

Roy nodded his head and looked out the window.

"I know… it probably already is…"

He sighed.

"If one could follow us, I'm sure more can as well…"

Roy then felt the eeriest chill go down his spine.

Havoc felt it too. They then heard a noise come from down the hall.

They both jumped.

Havoc then slowly pulled out his gun and nodded at Roy.

Roy put his finger into a snap and stood up as Havoc took off down the hall.

Havoc crashed open Ed's door and Roy rushed in. He looked everywhere.

In the bathroom, under the bed, in the closets, under the covers, he even looked in the dresser.

"He's gone…" Roy whispered as tears welled in his eyes.

Havoc looked confused.

"But how?"

Roy pointed to the open window and looked out. He then yelled,

"EDWARD!"

Riza and Hughes then emerged from their bedrooms yawning and stretching.

"What's going on?" Hughes asked.

"I told you guys to be quite!" Riza snapped.

Suddenly, Roy warped passed them at full speed and was out the door.

"What? Riza asked.

"Edwards' gone…"

Ж

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Wow. I was just writing this down SOO fast. Lol. Well, I hope there aren't any mistakes because I'm not rewriting it. I'm sick and tired and I want to go to bed so I hope this is alright. I love you all and keep giving me nice reviews and crits:) Thanks!


	24. Chapter 24: Difficult Colonels

I wanted to apologize again for not updating that much. Real life has been very stressful. I don't really want to get into it; I just wanted to let you all know ahead of time that I definitely will not be updating that much anymore. But no worries, I'm not giving up on the story. I'm just having some real life problems that are keeping me occupied. Hope you all understand. I love you all:)

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA for the f-ing millionth time so yea. If you sue me, you can't have my cats… you can have my dead fish. Lol If you can dig them up. :P

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Roy ran through the thick brush, almost tripping and gaining many scratches in the process.

It was pitch black for the most part, except for the bright light from the giant glowing orb

above him. It reflected the earth and almost seemed to remind Roy how small and

insignificant he was. He hated the moon. He hated everything about it.

But mostly only because of that time… when the moon had reflected in her fading eyes.

He shook the thought from his head and continued to run through the twigs and bushes at

full speed. He held his gloved hands in front of him, hoping to protect his face, but it didn't

help much. There were twigs and branches everywhere, reaching out with their long pointed "fingers" to catch on him somehow and slow him down.

The forest didn't want him to find Ed. But he would.

He would fight the forest of the night, and make his way through to protect the one he

cared for…

He then fell onto the leafy ground and felt a sharp pain in his knee.

He pulled his pant leg up to reveal his scarred skin. War scars.

There were so many, Roy couldn't remember half the stories that went with them.

He winced as he feathered his hand over a rather large cut right under his knee.

It bled profusely, but he wasn't worried. He looked behind him at all the mangled mess.

He then saw the culprit. It was a cut branch, sticking out from behind a tree trunk.

He touched the tip and felt pain in his finger. It was too sharp to be wood.

He put his injured finger in his mouth and felt the red copper tickle his tongue.

He pulled himself up with his right arm, using a tree as leverage, and then stumbled over to

the sharp protruding object. He gasped when he saw the metal spike which used to be a

hand. He stared at the mangled mess that was called Edward.

He said his name.

Sad eyes looked up and met his.

They blinked.

Once, twice, thrice.

His auto mail hand, which lay limp to his side, had been turned into a spike of some kind.

It was sharp on all sides and Roy assumed it was for cutting through the brush.

Obviously, it hadn't worked. Small stripes of red were painted all around his face, and his

shirt was torn in several places. His fake boobs were lopsided once more, and his hair

became home to many leaves and twigs. He had his legs spread on in front of him and his

other arm lay in his lap. He looked completely worn out.

He smiled when he saw Roy and lifted his head up. His eyes sparkled.

He then opened his bleeding mouth and whispered,

"I thought I'd be lost forever."

Roy glared.

"It's your own damn fault."

He sighed.

"Why'd you run off?"

Ed bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"I just..."

He paused.

"I just couldn't stay there anymore..."

Roy raised an eyebrow and asked,

"Why?"

Ed pulled himself up a bit and returned his auto mail to normal.

"I just couldn't sit there when I knew there was something I could do..."

He then pointed to the red stain on the Colonel's pants and asked,

"Did I do that?'

Roy smiled.

"It's okay."

Ed shook his head and slowly got up, using the tree behind him as a brace.

He then took off the blue V-neck he was wearing and ripped it into a few pieces.

Roy pointed to the lopsided fakes and Edward growled.

He fumbled with the clasp, trying to get it free.

"Damn thing…" Ed.

Roy laughed.

"Those things always were annoying…"

Roy then attempted to get up, but Ed glared and snapped,

"Don't you dare get up."

Roy laughed.

"But you need help…"

"I can get the damn contraption off myself!"

Roy laughed.

"If you don't know how to do it, you're not going to have much luck with the ladies."

Ed blushed and made a fist.

"Like I care! Girls are nothing but trouble!"

Roy laughed.

"That's because the only women you know are Lieutenant Hawkeye and Ms. Rockbell."

Ed growled.

"Not true… I know plenty of girls…"

Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, do you?"

He then got up and wobbled over to the steaming Ed.

"Yes, I know lots of 'em!"

"I'm sure you do…" Roy said and sighed.

He then batted Ed's hands away from the clasp and began fiddling with it himself.

"I SAID I CAN DO IT MYSELF!"

Roy laughed.

"No you can't, now shut up."

Ed made a sharp turn, knocking Roy right on his butt.

He then winced and held his knee. He knelt down and grabbed for the blue shirt that had

been carelessly thrown on the ground next to the log.

He held it in his mouth and started to hike up Roy's pant leg.

"Stop!"

Roy commanded and grabbed Ed's hands.

Ed dropped the shirt from his mouth and snatched his hands away.

"And you call ME annoying…"

Roy growled.

"I can do it on my own."

Ed laughed.

"Where have I heard this before?"

Roy growled.

Ed just smirked and reached for his pant leg again.

Roy pulled his leg back and winced at the sharp pain that immediately assaulted his entire

leg.

"Leave it alone!'

Ed growled.

"No!"

He then jumped up and went around Roy.

He sat Roy's head in his lap and grabbed his hands. Roy looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

Roy laughed,

"You look funny with fake boobs."

Ed hit him over the head and growled.

He then started ripping more fabric and putting them into loops.

"Just what the hell are you doing?" He asked.

Ed smirked.

Suddenly, cloth went around Roy's hands and he was caught.

Roy fought him. This would be difficult, but he was going to do it.

He then played tug-of-war with the cloth and finally was able to tie it around the tree

behind Roy.

Roy growled.

"Untie me!"

Ed growled back.

"No you idiot! You're hurt!"

"I'm fine! Now leave it!"

Ed ignored him and went straight for the pant leg. Roy flailed his leg about and winced every time he did so.

Ed growled.

"WOULD YOU QUIT THAT YOU IDIOT?"

Roy growled.

"Then untie me! I can do it myself!"

Ed growled.

"I can see things you can't you moron! And I'm the cause to I should fix it!"

Ed ignored Roy as he continued to rage on and on about how he was a colonel and was

perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

Since Roy would not stop fighting, Ed sat on his stomach and braced his legs down with his hands. Roy winced.

Ed felt sorry for Roy, but continued to hold the legs down.

Ed pulled the pant leg up slowly and gasped at all the scars.

"Well, what do you expect? I'm an Alchemist…" Roy said sadly.

Ed then did the most surprising thing. He let go of Roy's legs, knelt down and kissed Roy's leg.

Roy's eyes went large.

"You violated me!" He yelled.

Ed turned around, blushing and yelled viciously,

"GET OVER IT!"

"Wha…?"

Roy was taken aback. Ed's eyes gleamed and gave off a kind of… savage feeling.

It then came to Roy, that this child was not all that innocent. Not inside, at least. He had

seen dead bodies, he had laughed in the face of danger, and feared almost nothing. He was

completely determined to do the right thing no matter what.

That… was an admirable quality. It then occurred to Roy, Edward… was no longer a

child…

Roy then closed his eyes and said with compassion,

"You've been through a lot."

The gleam from Ed's eyes disappeared and he turned around.

"Yes…"

Ed then started cleaning up part of the blood with the blue fabric and Roy winced.

Ed ignored it and continued working to wipe the blood and dirt from the wound.

"I'm sorry." Roy suddenly whispered.

Ed stopped working and stared at him.

"For what?"

Roy fiddled with his captured hands and closed his eyes once more.

"I'm so selfish."

Ed raised an eyebrow and set the cloth down.

"What do you mean?"

Roy laughed sadly and whispered,

"You're not a child… and you deserve the truth…"

Ed was then the surprised one.

"You've grown up Edward…"

He paused.

"Right before my eyes…"

He swallowed and chewed on his lip a little.

He then laughed at himself and said with a big smile,

"I was a pedophile!"

Ж

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Aww.. It turned weird. Hehe. Kind of strange. So yea. Hope you enjoyed. And btw, if you didn't read above, I definitely will not be updating so fast anymore. I'm not giving up on the story; I just have some real life problems that keep me busy. So yea. I hope you understand. And, REVIEW, REVIEW!


	25. Chapter 25: Lost

Note: a pedophile is an older person who likes little kids. LOL

I just wanted to apologize for not updating in so long. There may be a few things that seem like they don't belong in this chapter, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to pick up where I left off. I will be trying to update more often, so please don't be mad at me. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything. I don't want to either.

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The bruise that was now forming on the Colonel's perfect face was starting to pulse with pain.

"That hurt!" Roy whined.

"Well, you deserved it!" Ed snapped back.

Roy closed his eyes and smiled deviously.

"But I _was _a pedophile... Possibly still one now."

Ed pulled his fist into a fist and Roy laughed.

"You already hit me once."

"I should hit you again!"

Roy sighed and smiled.

"You should, but you won't."

Ed growled, but clenched his teeth and plopped down onto the ground.

Roy sighed and closed his eyes. "I guess we wait until the others find us."

Ed laughed.

"I could always leave you here…"

Roy comically cried and said,

"You wouldn't! You didn't finish fixing my wound! WHICH YOU CREATED! And the

smell of blood will call hungry animals! And I'm still tied up! You wouldn't dare leave

me here! "

Ed smiled deviously.

"Watch me..."

Ed then got up and started walking off to the left.

Roy cleared his throat and laughed,

"The cabin is THAT way…"

Roy pointed to the right.

Ed shook his head.

"No you moron… It's THAT way!"

He pointed left.

Roy shook his head and sighed.

"We're lost…"

Ed growled.

Roy laughed.

"Besides which, you still have boobs!"

Roy dodged a large stick zooming towards his head and heard it crash into the leaves

behind him. He sighed.

"I can help you!"

Ed growled and sat down beside the Colonel.

"Let me help YOU first…"

Roy shook his head.

"You look so sexy with that hanging off your chest…"

Roy said with a smirk.

Ed blushed and growled,

"Get the damn thing off me…"

Ж

Roy flexed his untied hands and sighed.

"You tie very tight knots…"

Ed sat on his knees, off to the side of Roy. Ed growled.

"Make it quick!"

Roy rolled his eyes.

"Yes Mam…"

Ed made a fist and Roy grabbed it.

"Sorry... Sorry…"

Roy then began fiddling with the clasp on the fake bra. The damn thing wouldn't come undone.

Roy growled and began to pull on it.

"Ouch! That hurts!" Ed snapped.

"Yea... Well, the damn thing won't… come… off!"

Ed then transmutated his auto mail into a spike, once more. Roy jumped backward.

"Sorry!" He yelled.

Ed laughed.

"This isn't for you, moron."

He then put it around his back. Roy understood, but the stupid boy would cut himself in the process.

"Don't!" Roy yelled.

"Why not?" Ed asked and raised an eyebrow with anger.

"Because... you'll hurt youself…"

Ed growled.

"So?"

Roy rolled his eyes.

"Here."

Ed transmutated his auto mail back to normal.

"Put your arms up..." Roy commanded.

Ed did as he was told.

Roy then pulled the thing up over Ed's head. Ed shook his head and his hair went all over the place.

"Stupid thing…"

He then started stretching his arms and closed his eyes.

"Much better…"

Roy then, using the tree as a brace, got up and wobbled on one leg.

"What are you doing?" Ed asked.

Roy smiled and took off his rather large black jacket.

"Here."

He said and handed it to Ed.

"Not again…" He said.

Roy shook his head and smiled.

"It doesn't matter if it drags... trust me, I don't care."

Ed growled and pouted.

"It's not as if I care about your stupid jacket, I just…"

He paused, pouted some more, made a scowl and mumbled,

"I hate feeling small."

Roy smiled, wobbled over to Edward, and sat beside him.

"Sometimes… being small can be a good thing."

Ed held the jacket in his lap and stared at it.

He then scowled and snapped,

"Oh yea? How?"

Roy smiled.

He took his jacket from Ed, put it around him and pulled him into his lap.

He then wrapped his arms around Ed's shoulders and sighed.

"Perfect fit…"

Ed growled and blushed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Roy laughed.

"Showing you how being small can be a good thing."

He then smiled with a sparkle and said,

"And you fit perfectly!"

Ed growled and struggled to get away.

"You pervert!"

Roy laughed enthusiastically and said,

"Yes, that's what I've been told."

Roy then scooted himself backward against the tree and leaned on it.

"Comfortable nature." He said, sighed and closed his eyes.

Ed growled.

"Let me go!"

"Fine…" Roy said, and released Ed from his "death hold".

Ed got up immediately and stared at Roy.

Roy opened one eye and smiled.

"What?" He asked.

Ed turned away and growled.

"Nothing."

Roy sat up a bit and winced.

"I forgot to finish that..."

Ed stated and began looking for the rest of the blue shirt he had worn before.

Roy sighed.

"So close…"

He then hung his head and sighed.

"I like this... but I don't like being lost… I wish they would hurry and find us…"

Roy began looking at their surroundings and shivered. The sounds of the night forest were

all around him. The crickets, the owls, and the bats were all having a giant party and _he _

was unfortunately invited. He looked up and through the darkness of the canopy he could

see the glowing moon. It was so big and bright.

"At least it's not going to rain…" He said and sighed.

"Found it!' Ed stated and began walking over to Roy.

Roy sighed.

"Be gentle this time…"

Ed laughed.

"Imagine this... the Colonel... the legendary FLAME Alchemist, Roy Mustang, the ultimate

player and womanizer of Central City, is asking _me _to be gentle…"

Roy laughed and rubbed his chin.

"You have such a high opinion of me… I'm flattered."

Ed growled.

"Shut up…"

Ed hiked up Roy's pant leg and began to re-clean the wound.

"You know, you caused quite a bit of bleeding by jumping around like that…"

Roy sighed.

"Don't baby me…"

Ed laughed.

"Now you know how _I _feel…"

Roy shook his head.

"No, the difference is... I'm _not _a child and you…"

He paused as Ed's eyes glowed with his seeminglysavage nature.

Roy gulped and said,

"And you are not as well."

Ed then smiled normally and continued to re-clean the Colonel's wound.

"You know…" Roy began.

"If it weren't for you, we would be here in the first place…"

Ed hung his head.

"Are you… mad… at me?"

Roy was perplexed. What happened to the "savage"?

Ed was one confusing boy… err… man.

"No Edward, I'm not mad…"

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Aww.. fluffy... umm.. if theres something I forgot about in previous chapters or something, please let me know. I haven't written in so long, I forgot part of the story. I hope you all understand and please REVIEW REVIEW:)


	26. Chapter 26: Lectures

Okay, I'm back. I told you I was going to try to update more often, and I meant it. Hehe. So yea, I hope you all forgive me. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor do I want to. So yea. Poo-off…

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Ed stopped working and looked up at the Colonel with sad eyes.

"You're really not mad?"

Roy smiled and shook his head.

"Nope."

Ed smiled shyly and said,

"I'm glad…"

He then began to wrap up the wound and Roy winced.

"I'm sorry…"

Ed apologized and continued to work, but carefully.

Roy sighed.

"How can you do that?"

"Do what?" Ed asked without looking up.

Roy yawned and whispered,

"Change your personality so quick…"

Ed continued to work and licked his lips.

"I don't know…"

Roy scratched his head and smiled nervously.

"It's kind of scary. One minute, you're a little punk, the next, you're the scariest thing on

earth, and then you're a cute and shy little teeny mouse."

Ed growled and clenched his teeth.

"Do you enjoy pissing me off or something?"

Roy laughed.

"You're just such a time bomb… so unpredictable…"

Ed chewed on his bottom lip and stuttered,

"I don't know, I've just…"

He paused as he finished with the primitive "bandage" under Roy's knee.

"Just, what?" Roy asked. He eyed over Edward's stiffening form.

Ed tucked a stray hair behind his ear and said with an insincere smile,

"I've just always been like this…"

He sighed and tightened Roy's jacket around him.

Roy laughed and exclaimed,

"Oh glory, you even have _yourself _confused!"

Ed growled.

"Shut up…"

Roy scooted forward a bit and winced as he did,

"Stop doing that!" Ed yelled.

Roy winced then laughed some more.

"We have to get back, don't we?"

Ed quickly threw the jacket off and pinned Roy to the ground.

"Keep your old ancient ass right where it is and if you move another inch, I'll hit you!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLDER THAN DIRT WHICH WOULD MAKE ME

OLDER THAN WORMS BECAUSE DIRT IS WORM POOP BASICALLY AND

WORMS HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS AND DIRT HAS TOO

SO WHAT Exactly are you saying I'm older than?"

Roy scratched his head.

"I think I just confused myself…"

Ed raised an eyebrow.

"I think you just confused me as well…"

Roy then gave Ed a feral smile and placed his hand on his shoulder.

He traced a line on the bare skin going down his arm. Ed shivered and in two seconds was 5 feet away.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Ed yelled.

Roy laughed and his eyes sparkled as he declared in a fake "gay" voice,

"I'm such a pedophile!"

Ed growled.

"Would you quit saying that?"

Roy laughed and his eyes sparkled as he exclaimed in a girly voice,

"I'm a Pedo-Perv!"

Ж

There was now a bruise on both cheeks on the Colonel's "perfect" face. Ed was sitting against another tree with his arms folded.

"You're such a jerk."

Roy laughed and came to a conclusion.

"Yes, I'm a jerk. But…since, all the injuries I have suffered tonight have been because of you… I think you owe me…"

Ed growled.

"I don't owe you jack-diddily squat!"

Roy laughed and pulled up his pant leg.

"I beg to differ…"

Ed hung his head and turned from the Colonel.

"_Dammit…"_ Roy thought.

"Either I piss him off, or make him sad…"

Roy laughed.

"There's no winning with you, Full Meta-"

Suddenly, he felt something latch onto his chest.

Looking down, he gasped as he eyed the golden sun-lit hair and perfect flawless skin

clinging to his own body. Little arms wrapped around his chest and he smiled at the

thought of what he could do to take advantage of this…glorious turn of events.

But he quickly dismissed the idea, and placed a firm hand on the boy's frozen shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Roy asked, with a careful tone.

Ed flinched and gripped onto him tighter.

Roy smiled knowingly and patted the boy's trembling back.

"I'm sorry…" Ed sadly whispered.

Roy grabbed the discarded jacket and wrapped it around Ed's shivering form.

"It's okay, really…"

Ed shook and whispered,

"Not just because of that…"

Roy looked down at the blonde with a mixture of surprise and hurt.

Ed shook some more and said,

"This entire thing is my fault…"

Roy shook his head and rubbed Ed's covered shoulder.

"No… it's really not…"

Ed looked up at the concerned Colonel and yelled,

"How exactly is it not my fault?"

Roy smiled sadly and responded,

"You have no control over what goes on in this big world, neither do I."

Ed growled and frowned.

"It's not fair…"

Roy laughed.

"Nothings fair in this world, my young friend…"

Ed then returned his head to Roy's chest and sighed,

"Before…I wish you would have told me all of that sooner…"

Roy laughed.

"Why? So you could run away at _Central_?"

Ed brought his head up once more, glared at the Colonel and yelled,

"No! Because it would have helped me to understand what the hell was going on!"

He took a breath and continued,

"And _you_ should know that unless you go on a _killing rampage_ of innocent women and children out of cold blood and savage spite, I **will** not hate you!"

Roy's eyes went large as Ed continued.

"I understand that you being my Colonel and all, and you thinking I'm a child,

even though I want to kill you for it, would have you feel the need to "quote, un-quote"

"protect" me, but that does not mean that you should not inform me of current happenings

and why I was forced here on this godforsaken mountain having to fake being married to

you!"

He took a breath and felt triumphant at the Colonel's current expression.

A mixture of surprise and hurt. Just what he wanted. He was finally going to get through

that thick head of his.

"On another note, I am a state Alchemist, the youngest ever, nonetheless,

I am still a person and I deserve to be treated like one. Not telling me about people who

want to kill me, is not fair at all. I deserve the same rights as any other man does.

I deserve to know why…"

Ed backed up a bit, so he was right in the Colonel's face and continued,

"Not telling me these things just because you think I'm too young to "quote, un-quote,

"understand" or because you think I'll be too scared, is just plain dumb.

You should not keep things from me, oh mighty Colonel.

Just because you're a high-ranking officer will not keep me from shoving a knife right

down your perverted, womanizing throat! Do you hear me?

I deserve to know things like this and I expect you to tell me ahead-of-time so we can

prevent anything like this from ever happening again. Do you hear me?

I want to know these things. I want you to stop treating me like a damn kid!

If I was able to become a state Alchemist, I can sure as hell kick your ass, and that means I

deserve your respect! You should respect those who can put your old ancient butt down…"

Suddenly, he felt soft and powerful lips go over his. And he was overtaken by surprise and

longing.

The next few moments were all blurred out until only one feeling was left…

"_Love_?"

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Okay, that was quite a bit of writing… I think this may end up being my longest chapter… I don't really know, I don't keep track. Anyway, thank you all for your nice comments and I'm glad people are still watching me. Hehe.

Do not forget to review please:)


	27. Chapter 27: Difficult Beans

Yes, yes, I know I got the wrong ring finger in chapter 9. (I think that's the chapter) Lol. I shall go back and change it.. someday. Hehe.

Oki doki. Keep in mind, this chapter was written at 2am in the morning. Forgive me for it not being wonderfully articulate, and easy to read. Lol

**Warning**: Thar be Fluff and Stuff ahead! Ye has been warned!

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist so yea. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

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Suddenly, Roy felt a sharp pain in his stomach and fell forward.

"Get off me! Pervert!"

Edward pushed Roy backward, stood up and growled.

"You have some nerve! What the hell was that?" Ed yelled, angrily.

After catching his breath from the iron blow, Roy sat up, held his stomach and laughed out,

"You were starting to sound too much like that Rockbell girl…"

Ed started to steam up as Roy continued.

"I think this whole, "looking like a girl" thing has gone to your head…"

Ed turned around, put his back to the Colonel, and tried to refrain from killing him.

"You know, we could be miles away from the Cabin and any other kind of civilization."

Ed pointed out.

"No one would hear you scream…"

Roy laughed.

Ed growled.

"You think it's funny?"

Roy fought off his smile and stared hard at the bare back.

"Well, it _is _kind of your fault that we're out here…"

Roy then held his hand to his mouth.

"_Shit_." He thought.

Ed slowly walked over to the log and sat down, keeping his face hidden in the shadows.

"How many times to I have to apologize?" He finally whispered.

Roy was surprised once again.

"Edward, this time… I'm sorry."

Ed looked up, a slight shine glittered his eyes.

"What do you mean?"He asked, quietly and sadly.

Roy took a deep breath, rubbed his sore bruised cheek and said,

"I shouldn't have told you anything… and… you've already apologized for running off… so… you can hit me again if you want…"

Ed growled.

"I don't want to hit you."

Roy's eyes went large.

"What?"

"I said I don't want to hit you!" Ed yelled.

"I know what you said, I mean." Roy paused.

"I just don't get it..."

Ed looked away and smirked as a devious idea popped into his head.

"I don't feel like beating up on an already beat up old man…"

Roy laughed then held his stomach in pain.

"Oww…"

Ed laughed.

"I can punch pretty hard…"

"And you can blush pretty hard too."

Roy said and smirked.

Ed growled and looked away.

"You're an ancient jerk."

"And you're a stupid bean."

They both sighed as the sky suddenly lit up.

"Oh, wonderful." Roy commented then closed his eyes to listen to the rolling thunder come after.

Ed shivered. Roy grabbed his jacket from the ground, sat up a bit higher and whistled at Ed.

"What?" Ed asked.

"It's gonna rain soon."

"Yea, I know."

"Well, come here."

Ed raised an eyebrow and reluctantly walked toward the wounded man.

"What?" Ed asked impatiently as he stood over him.

He then looked up as the big bright moon started to disappear behind a dark veil of clouds.

"This sucks." Ed said and growled.

"Yea, it does." Roy agreed.

Roy then quickly grabbed Ed's auto mail arm, and jerked him into his lap.

"What the hell?"

Ed growled as Roy threw the coat of the two of them.

"Do you want to be wet and cold? Or warm and dry?" Roy asked.

Ed growled. "I'd rather be cold and wet than have to sit on _you_!"

Roy sighed.

"Difficult to the bitter end, I see."

Ed growled.

"Well…" Roy began

He then threw his arms around Ed, hugging hischest to Ed's back,andscooted up under a thick layer of tree canopy.

Ed growled.

"Let me go old man!"

Roy growled right back.

"Oh shut up! You wanna die out here?"

Ed grinded his teeth and yelled,

"If it means perverts won't touch me, sure!"

Roy growled and gritted his teeth.

"You are really starting to piss me off."

Ed growled.

"Good!"

Roy then smirked a devious and clever smirk.

"What?" Ed asked, angrily.

"Do you want me to kiss you again?"

Ed blushed and hid his head under the coat.

"No I do not! Don't you dare try it!"

Roy laughed.

"Then shut up for me, would ya?"

Ed growled.

"Then let me go!"

Roy laughed.

"Not going to happen."

"Yes it is! Now let me go!"

Ed yelled and wiggled around in Roy's arms.

Roy sighed, pulled Ed's arms behind his back and held his face upside down with his free hand.

He looked down at the angry golden eyes and brought their lips so close, if one of then had hiccupped, they would be touching.

Ed blushed and his eyes went large.

Roy laughed.

"Good boy."

He then put his gloved finger over Ed's lips and said,

"Now keep that mouth shut or I'll shut it with mine."

Ed growled.

"Jerk…"

Roy shook his head and smiled.

"You should have listened. Now I have to kiss you…"

Ed growled.

"Don't you dare you old pervert!"

Roy laughed.

"You should have listened."

As Roy went for the kiss, rain began pouring down all around them and Roy was distracted.

Ed, taking advantage of the situation, elbowed Roy in the gut, stood up, and walked into

the rain. He stuck his tongue out.

"Na na!"

Roy growled.

"Fine…"

He then attempted to get up, once again, using the tree as his support. He winced in pain and growled.

"You idiot!" Ed yelled and pushed Roy back on the ground.

Ed knelt down in front of the Colonel's face and stared into his eyes.

"You are one crazy asshole." Ed commented.

He sighed.

"But if it's to keep you from being an idiot and hurting yourself, I guess I can sit _next _to you."

Roy smiled.

"Aww, how sweet. You're worried about me."

Ed growled.

"I'm not the one who's doing the worrying, old man!"

Roy growled back.

Ed then reluctantly sat between Roy and the tree. He pulled his legs to his chest and shivered.

Roy smiled and placed the coat over the small shivering boy and sighed.

"This would have been a whole lot easier if you have just done this before."

He then reached out and fiddled with a piece of Ed's wet hair.

"Now you're all wet."

Ed smirked deviously and laughed out,

"Like you said, difficult to the bitter end."

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La de dada, dah, so yea. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Hehe. And.. if you didn't.. tell me why… but… nicely. It's really helpful to learn about your mistakes so you can fix them:) Anyway, yea.

REVIEW, REVIEW!

Choco


	28. Chapter 28: Tricks in the Rain

Hello! I have returned.. but only for a short while.. It is possible that I have "caught" the computer geek's worst nightmare… Carpal Tunnel! Oh, yes it's lovely, and it loves me. So yea.. I definitely will only be updating about once a week.. maybe once every two weeks.. keep in mind.. this is against the wishes of my doctor. Lol. But I'm not giving up. :) Wish me luck and I hope to see you all regularly!

BTW, thank you all for your nice comments on my last chapter and on my newest one-shot, "Fallen Comrade, Finding Hope". It means a lot to me! Thanks again:)

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist… nor do I want to. So yea.

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As the rain poured harder Ed felt his eyelids droop. He then shook himself out of it andtightened his grip on his legs. Beside him, the warmth of the Colonel's body was oh too inviting. Ed growled.

"Scoot over."

Roy turned and stared at him.

"Hell no, I don't want to get wet…"

Ed growled and pulled the jacket closer. He tried ignoring the smell of the Colonel which came from inside it.

Luckily, the smell of the rain was now starting to overpower his nostrils and he sighed in almost a kind of thanks.

Roy shivered but turned his head in an attempt to hide it. After all, Roy _was _a _man._

Ed laughed.

"If you're cold, you can have your jacket." Ed offered.

Roy shook his head.

"I'm not cold and even if I was, you need it more than I do."

Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Are you implying I'm weak?"

Roy laughed.

"No…"

He paused and laughed, pointing to his shirt.

Ed growled. "Well, I'd still have a shirt if it wasn't for you getting hurt."

Roy laughed. "And I wouldn't have gotten hurt if it wasn't for you…"

Ed growled. "Neither of us would be out here if it wasn't for _you!" _

Roy laughed, feeling a bit hurt.

"Yes, yes… so it's all _my _fault.."

_  
_Ed growled.

"Yes…"

Roy sighed.

"In a way… this entire thing is my fault…"

Ed looked over to Roy and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, hey… come on... I was just joking…"

Roy shook his head.

"But it's true…"

Ed turned toward Roy and patted his shoulder.

"I know what you're thinking.. And it's bullshit.. So don't even waste your time on it."

Roy laughed.

"So you can read minds now, aye?"

Ed growled.

"You're such an idiot."

Roy laughed.

"And you're such a child…"

Ed stared at Roy with an angry fire flickering in his eyes.

For moment, even if it was just a moment... Roy was afraid. This fire… he was supposed to be the master of fire… but this fire… he could not master… ever.

A wild fire that assaulted him every time he stared into those eyes.

He was afraid... but... just for a moment.

Ed looked away and blushed. Roy had been staring at him so strangely.

"What're you thinking about now you Pedo-Perv?" Ed asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Roy shook his head and blinked his eyes and few times.

He then took in a breath, turned away and responded in an almost dreamy voice, "Nothing."

Ed growled and turned.

"Bullshit nothing! God!"

He then got up, stripping the jacket off of him. He threw it in Roy's face and leaned against the other side of the tree.

He was only half protected from the water and he felt the drops hit his skin.

He shivered a bit and a chill went down his spine, but he would not move.

He put his head down and growled.

"You piss me off."

Roy laughed.

"I tend to do that, huh?"

Ed quietly growled and whispered, "You tend to do other things as well…"

Roy laughed.

"Yea, like what?"

Ed quickly sat down and pressed his knees to his chest.

His semi-wet hair fell into his eyes and cast a shadow across his face. He took in a deep breath, shivering as he did and whispered,

"You make my heart beat faster…"

Ж

Of course, Roy being the idiot he usually was, didn't hear Edward and assumed he had just completely ignored him.

Roy sighed.

"You know, you being over there defeats the whole purpose of this beautiful canopy…"

Ed remained silent. Roy scooted himself back a bit, getting caught in a few raindrops as he did. He then twisted himself around the tree to stare at the now soaked Edward.

Roy touched the boy's shoulder and his eyes went large.

Roy was terrified… Ed's skin was cold as ice.

He pulled himself over a bit farther and grabbed the shivering boy.

Ed's lips were a light blue and it seemed as though he didn't even realize what was going on. Roy pulled him into his lap and moved back to his original spot.

"This isn't going to work." Roy sighed.

He then tried to remember something he had learned years ago in training for wilderness survival.

The words echoed in his head.

"_The quickest way to raise a body temperature, is by skin to skin contact_."

He took a deep breath and a slight blush went across his face.

"Damn…"

He said and set the boy aside as he pulled his own shirt off.

"What the hell are you doing?" Edward groggily whispered.

"I…" Roy paused.

"I have to..."

He paused again and a small blush went across his face.

Ed then sat up and flexed his hand with a curious and semi-frightened look on his face.

"I can't feel that…"

"What?" Roy asked.

"I can't feel that…"

Roy laughed nervously and growled.

"It's your fault... come here."

Roy then began to undo Edward's pants buttons and he freaked out.

"What the hell are you doing you pervert?"

Roy blushed and growled.

"I have to... we... the quickest way to..."

He tried to use the quote, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

"Dammit!"

He yelled.

Ed stared at him.

"What?"

Roy growled.

"I have to take your pants off because they're wet!"

Ed blushed and growled.

"You stay the hell away from my pants you freaking pervert!"

Roy growled.

"I'm not a pervert... and I don't want your childish body anyway! I'm trying to save your life!"

Ed growled.

"Childish body? SCREW YOU ASSHOLE! LET ME DIE!"

Roy then leaped forward, wincing as he did and pinned the boy to the wet muddy ground.

"That feels so gross." Ed whined and squirmed.

Roy couldn't help but laugh, but his face was turning a beat red color and he then remembered his anger.

He held Ed's hands above his head with one hand and began to fiddle with the buttons with his free hand.

"Get your dirty hands off me!"

Ed growled and continued to whine about the "icky" and "gross" feeling on his back.

He could have easily kicked the Colonel... in the knees, or where it really hurts.

But he figured he had caused Roy enough damage… and there was something strangely

exciting about Roy pinning him like that.

Roy growled as he fiddled with the buttons. Ed laughed.

"Can't get 'im, can ya?" Roy growled.

He then brought his hand up to Ed's face and brushed his gloved fingers against Ed's lips.

Silence.

Roy laughed.

"I just love my new trick…."

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Hello! If you did not read in the first "author's note" thingy...

"It is possible that I have "caught" the computer geek's worst nightmare… Carpal Tunnel! Oh, yes it's lovely, and it loves me. So yea.. I definitely will only be updating about once a week.. maybe once every two weeks.. Keep in mind.. this is against the wishes of my doctor. Lol. But I'm not giving up. :) Wish me luck and I hope to see you all regularly!"

Don't forget to REVIEW, REVIEW!


	29. Chapter 29: Hughes Is Smart

La la la. Here I am with the next chapter. Wheeeee! Yea, I know it's late. I'm sorrrryyyyyy.

Anywho, hope ya like it. :)

(Note: Four more chapters, possibly five will be up sometime this week. So heads up. hehe)

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA nor do I want to. God, hurry up with the movie peoples! Hehe.

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Ed growled at the Colonel who still had him pinned against the muddy ground. He narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"You piss me off…" He whispered as a small blush went across his face.

Roy's face scrunched into an angry expression and he yelled,

"You piss me off even more! Now how the hell do these damn pants come off?"

Ed laughed.

"They don't. At least not for you…" Ed smirked and chuckled a bit.

Roy gritted his teeth and his eyebrow's twitched.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Ed just smiled happily and closed his eyes.

"Pissing you off, yes. This disgusting squishy feeling on my back, no. It's actually really gross."

Roy laughed.

"Well, it's your own damn fault…"

Ed growled.

"Just leave my pants the hell alone!"

Roy released Ed's hand and leaned backward against the tree. Edward stood up and his back was covered in mud. He steamed up.

"Now look what you did! Ugh! This is so gross!" He whined as he began to rake off the chunky black mess.

Roy laughed.

"It suits you. Most children _do _play in the mud, you know…."

Edward closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and took in a deep breath.

"Don't piss me off you jerk!" He growled from behind his teeth.

Roy laughed.

"Sorry." He said sarcastically.

Ed then began to pull his hair down.

"Oh gross."

He whined.

"It's in my hair too."

Roy laughed.

"Come here you big baby…"

Ed growled.

"Why? So you can pin me in that stuff again?"

Roy laughed.

"No. To keep you warm…You're freezing…"

"Am not!" Ed growled.

A small blush went across Roy's face and he held his mouth in his hand. He smiled wide and looked away as he said,

"Your… your nipples are hard…"

Edward immediately turned away, threw his arms across his chest, and yelled at the top of his lungs,

"YOU NASTY OLD CREEP! YOURE SO DISGUSTING AND PERVERTED!

DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME OR COME NEAR ME OR EVEN FRICKING LOOK

AT ME EVER AGAIN! YOU OLD NASTY UGLY PERVERTED JACKASS!

THAT IS SO SICK! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME THERE, MUCH

LESS TELL ME ABOUT IT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DISTURBING THAT IS?

DO YOU? OH MY GOD! YOU ARE A PIECE OF WORK YOU SICK OLD FREAK!

I HATE YOU! YOURE SO DISGUSTING! HOW DARE YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE

THAT! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL YOU NASTY OLD FART!

DONT EVER TALK TO ME, COME NEAR ME, OR EVEN LOOK AT ME!

I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU, HEAR YOU, OR EVEN SMELL YOU, YOU HEAR

ME? NASTY CRUSTY OLD FART!"

Suddenly, Roy burst out into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY, YOU ASSHOLE?" Ed yelled.

Roy held his sides as his enormous burst of laughter continued on.

_"So much like the Rockbell girl..." _He thought.

Ed quickly marched over to the highly amused Colonel and grabbed him by the shirt collar, bringing their faces very close. Ed hadn't even realized.

He was so angry. His eyes glared savagely once again.

"Something... funny?" Edward asked in a disturbing tone. Suddenly, a bright light blinded him and he blinked a few times.

"_Must have been a small lightning strike…" _He thought. It was still raining after all.

Roy then wrapped his arms around the boy's back and kissed him. Another lightning strike and in that split second, every single hair on Edward's body stood straight up.

Edward immediately jumped back, holding his mouth as a huge blush went across his face.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Ed yelled.

Roy laughed. "That's what you get…"

"Ahem…" A voice suddenly said from the shadows.

Edward was immediately in front of the wounded Colonel, changing his metal arm into a spike. He somehow felt the need to protect the Colonel.

It wasn't as if he had any feelings for him. It's just that Roy was wounded and couldn't defend himself. Yea, that was it. No feelings there at all...

"Show yourself!" Ed yelled into the darkness.

Suddenly, a light flashed into his face and as his eyes adapted to it, four figures stepped forward.

A round of laughter was then heard and seemed to be all around them.

"I just knew it was true love!" A familiar voice sang out.

The owner of the voice was then knocked into a tree by a shoe hitting his head.

The Colonel pulled himself up, using the tree as a brace and kept his stocking foot off the ground. He narrowed his eyes and growled.

"That's what you get, you picture freak…"

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The trip back was extremely annoying. Roy had made Edward wear his jacket the whole way, even if it dragged on the ground.

Roy, poor fellow, had to be carried by Havoc who kept making wisecracks about him being a pedophile.

Riza, who was standing next to Fuery, kept taking small glances back at the slowly moving Edward.

It made Roy worry about Ed so he yelled to him.

"Hurry up little man!"

Ed growled, but quickened his pace slightly.

Fuery pushed his glasses higher onto his face and let a slight smile show.

It was all obvious to him now. He then carefully touched Riza on the shoulder and she looked over to him, slowing her pace slightly.

Fuery motioned his head backward toward Edward,

then tilted it toward the Colonel and Riza smiled. She nodded her head and sighed.

"Too bad they're the only ones who don't know."

They both shared a laugh and Hughes came up behind Havoc and the Colonel.

He started tickling Roy and laughed maniacally.

"Tell me what you did to the poor little boy!" He demanded.

Roy began outright laughing at the tickle attack and began squirming around on Havoc's back.

Edward couldn't help but smile a bit. "The Colonel… ticklish?"

He giggled quietly and continued to watch in pure amusement.

Havoc then quickly swirled around and glared at Hughes.

"Every time you tickle him, he kicks my sides! Quit it!"

Roy then looked over to Edward and frowned. He wished that Ed would stay closer, but he understood why he wouldn't.

Hughes carefully studied Roy's face before Havoc turned back around. Roy had been watching Edward. Hughes smiled.

He then thought to himself, "_Let's go bug Edward!" _

He stuck his hands in his pockets and slowly walked over to the seemingly sulking young man.

"So, what'd he do to you?"

Edward blushed and growled.

"Shut up!"

Hughes persisted. "Oh come on! Tell me! What'd he do?"

Edward then became very flushed and extremely angry. He yelled,

"Shut the hell up about it! Nothing happened, okay?"

Hughes laughed.

"But we saw, and Havoc took pict-"

Edward was already halfway between Hughes and the rest of the group.

Hughes laughed to himself, put his hands behind his head and started walking normally.

He then whistled and thought to himself, "Boy, I'm smart."

Roy turned his head and smiled at the whistling Hughes. He mouthed the words,

"Thank you" then turned to look at Edward who was fairly close to him now.

He smiled.

Even if Hughes _was _a picture freak, he sure was nice to have around.

Roy then laughed out loud and closed his eyes.

"_Damn that man…"_

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Okay, okay. I know in my Devart Journal I promised this chapter like.. three days ago. I'm very sorry; I've been super busy with school. SORRY:( Anyway, hope you liked it and…

REVIEW! REVIEW!

Thank ya.


	30. Chapter 30: Obnoxious Colonels

Oh man. Inspiration loves me today. Wheeeee.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, nor do I want to. So yea. La la la...

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When they finally reached the cabin, they were all completely soaked.

"Dibs on first shower!" Hughes yelled.

Havoc and Riza glared at him and pointed to Roy, who had just been deposited on the flowery sofa by the fireplace. Apparently, he was getting first shower.

He winced as Fuery began to take the blue amateur dressing off.

Roy noticed that no one had said anything about the two beautiful grapefruit sized bruises on his cheeks, and frankly, he preferred it that way.

Edward quickly threw the Colonel's soaked jacket at his face and glared at Fuery.

Fuery grinned sheepishly and backed away, not wanting to incur the wrath of the famous Full Metal Alchemist. Edward then began to start where Fuery had left off.

He pulled at the torn blue fabric rather harshly.

Roy, whose face was covered by the jacket inhaled deeply and whined,

"Careful with that Fuery... You're pulling as hard as Full Metal."

Suddenly, the pulling stopped and Roy peeled the jacket off his face, only to find a pair of angry golden-yellow eyes staring back at him.

"Oh. So it _is _you." Roy commented and laughed.

Ed growled and put his hands on his hips.

"Yes, it's _me. _God, if you'd rather someone else to do it, by all means."

Roy laughed.

"So defensive..."

He said and threw the jacket to Riza who was starting to collect extra pieces of clothing to put in the washing machine.

Havoc, feeling random, stared at Riza, then at the refrigerator and scratched his chin.

"How is it, there's electricity up here?"

Roy laughed, overhearing his question and responded,

"Who cares? As long as we have it."

Riza rolled her eyes.

"You're both idiots. It's called a generator…"

Havoc scratched his chin as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. He then quickly said, "I knew that…"

Riza smacked the unlit cigarette from his rather large hand and snapped, "No smoking in here, and you certainly can't smoke outside…"

Havoc growled.

"I'll smoke in my room then…"

Riza's eyes narrowed and she glared at him.

"Fine, fine!" Havoc yelled, defeated, putting his hands up.

"I guess I'm off of cigarettes for today."

Fuery chuckled, "Maybe tomorrow as well."

Havoc slapped his forehead and whined, "Aw, Dammit."

Suddenly, a bright colored photograph was forced into his face.

"Oh, just let this sweet little angel brighten your day! Listen to her little reassuring voice telling you that you can go without cigarettes for a few days! Oh just listen to her sing!"

Suddenly, he was on the floor, with a shoe next to his head, and a large welt forming right above his nose.

"Shut up!" Roy yelled.

"You're really annoying!"

Havoc laughed and carefully stepped over the crumpled ball of flesh, heading over to Fuery who was sitting at the wooden table, reading a rather large book.

"Watcha' doin'?" He asked, a bit curious.

Fuery set the book down and straightened himself up in his chair. He pointed over to the stove, then to the pantry, and then showed Havoc the front of the book. It was a cooking book.

"You're gonna try to cook?" Havoc asked, a bit critical.

Fuery laughed.

"I know how to cook. I just wanted to try something different."

Havoc half rolled his eyes and sighed, "Don't try anything different, we're all starving. If you mess up, they'll hurt you."

Fuery nervously smiled and said, "Yea, I guess you're right…"

"Come on." Havoc coaxed.

"I'll even help ya. Let's have…" He took a moment to think then shouted out, "Steak!"

Fuery half smiled and looked down.

"But I don't know how to make steak…"

Havoc half laughed and said,

"You just like... cook it...and...stuff..."

Fuery shook his head sadly and sighed.

Havoc scratched his head.

"Well, um... what _do _you know how to make?"

Fuery looked up with sad eyes and said,

"Peanut Butter toast?"

Havoc's jaw dropped and he said in disbelief,

"You're... kidding... right?"

Fuery held his sad face for a few seconds then smiled and quickly said,

"Yep!"

Havoc took a deep breath and growled.

"I'm gonna kill you."

Fuery laughed.

"Steak and Spaghetti it is."

"Hey wait a minute, who ever said anything about Spaghetti?"

Ж

Edward's hair was dripping wet and it stuck to his face as he helped the limping Colonel into the bathroom. He had asked Havoc for help, but he blew him off and pointed to Fuery. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Stupid…"

Edward, being MUCH shorter than the Colonel, was having a very hard time helping him down the hall. Roy laughed and said, "You need to grow a little more."

Ed growled, "Shut the hell up!"

Roy, wincing every time he moved a bit forward, was using the wall, and Edward's outstretched arms to steady himself. He was in pain. Having it directly below the knee could be a bit serious as well.

Roy comically cried and whined, "Why is it only Edward's concerned for me?"

Edward bit Roy's finger and growled.

"I'm not concerned, I just feel like I owe you so shut up…"

Roy, leaned against the wall, flung his finger about and whined some more,

"Geeze, I hope you don't have rabies… you little animal…"

Ed growled.

"Shut up!"

Ж

When they finally made it to the bathroom Ed sat Roy down onto the toilet seat and frowned. Roy looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" He asked.

Edward rubbed his chin as a small blush went across his face. He looked away and mumbled,

"Well, it's not like I care or anything, but you're not going to be able to get into that bathtub by yourself, are you?"

Roy smiled and laughed.

"What, you gonna help me?"

Ed growled.

Roy laughed some more.

"Are you _that _interested in seeing my body?"

Edward blushed hard and yelled,

"I've already seen it once! And trust me, it wasn't that great! You nasty old man!"

Roy laughed.

"I'm surprised. Most women call my body "The Body of a God" …"

Ed growled.

"Yea, well, I'm not a girl you freak!"

Roy laughed.

"Yes... well, I guess you're right. Though…" He paused and smiled deviously.

"You _do _look like one…"

Ж

Havoc had gotten a bit bored with making dinner, so Fuery had suggested that he go and help Riza with the laundry.

"Hey." Havoc said.

Riza looked over to him, but continued to ring out some of the clothes. She raised an eyebrow.

"_What?"_

Havoc laughed.

"You think we should tell Roy n' Ed that I have pictures?"

Riza smiled very wide and laughed.

"We'll wait till this is all over. Then we'll send them to some newspapers…"

Havoc shook his head and smiled deviously.

"You're eviler than I am, aren't you?"

She laughed.

"I wouldn't really do it. It would ruin the Colonel's reputation. But we could definitely put together a scrapbook or something."

Havoc laughed and rubbed his chin.

"We have to make sure we have plenty of copies…"

Suddenly, a large bang sound was heard, then some angry marching. Half of the march was a flesh foot, and the other half was metal.

Of course, even if it wasn't metal, they'd all know who it was.

Havoc laughed.

" Roy's at it again, aye?"

Riza sighed and closed her eyes.

"I guess so."

She paused.

"It seems as though since Edward's been…for lack of a better word "cross dressing", the Colonel's been... well... different."

Havoc laughed.

"Yea, and so has shrimpy."

Riza smiled.

"I think part of the "cross dressing" is changing both of their personalities."

Havoc laughed.

"Naw, Edward's just getting used to being a girl…"

Ж

Hehe. This chapter made me laugh. Okay, I know. I'm stalling with the plot. But that's mostly because it hasn't exactly developed all the way in my head yet. (It's a babyyy)So please be patient with me. :) (If this story ends up sucking, I'll make it up by writing a pure Romance/Humor RoyXEd FLUFFY WAFFY fic for ya'll okay? Hehe)

Oh and don't forget to, REVIEW, REVIEW!


	31. Chapter 31: Washing Machines and Mustang

**Question:** "_When is Ed going to cross dress again? I thought that was the whole point of the story..._" - **feshnie**

**Answer:** It's not the _whole_ point; it's actually a small part of the story now. At first, that was going to be all it was about, but the story changed. And now I can't come up with a different name and I am reluctant to change it anyway. I have to say though, no worries, he will be cross dressing again. It's just the story has changed so much that it's not the main focus anymore. Even though I don't really want to, I most likely will end up having to change the name so no one will be thrown off. I like to name things after the main focus of the story most times anyway. Any ideas would be a great help. :) Hope I made you all a bit less confused.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA nor do I want to. So yea.

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Edward sat down on the couch by the fireplace and growled. Roy was such a jerk.

"Why does he have to be like that?" He thought in anger.

He then remembered the events of earlier that day. He shivered.

How many times had the Colonel kissed him? Did he have any idea that Edward had never been kissed before that?

Had he had any idea how "_freaky_" it made him feel inside? And now, even after that, Edward was willing to help him.

"_What an ass_."

He hit a nearby sofa pillow and gritted his teeth. He felt like ripping the poor fluffy little pillow into little tiny pieces.

Fuery looked over to him and could not help but smile.

"Mr. Edward is having a bad day I guess?" He suddenly asked.

Ed growled as a drop of water streamed down his face and mumbled, "Yea."

Fuery put down his spatula and leaned backward against the counter.

"You know…" He paused.

"You could help me make dinner..."

Fuery figured that Edward was pretty angry, thanks to "that jerk", the Colonel.

Whenever Fuery was angry, he'd cook. Maybe it would somehow help Edward as well. He just hoped he wasn't making a terrible mistake by asking.

Edward looked up then sunk his head into the same little pillow.

"I don't know how to cook..." He mumbled.

Why the hell wouldn't Fuery just leave him alone? Edward started to think maybe he should just go into _that _room that he reluctantly shared with "_that stupid man". _

Fuery smiled.

"I could teach you."

Fuery was persistent.

Edward sat up and stared at Fuery.

"You don't want to teach me. I'm in a bad mood."

Edward was also persistent.

Fuery laughed.

"I taught Jẽan how to cook, didn't I?"

Edward ignored the last comment and buried his head farther into the pillow.

Fuery laughed and said,

"When Jẽan doesn't understand something, he can get pretty angry…"

Edward continued to ignore him.

Fuery was annoyed, "You wanna help me or not?"

Edward separated from the pillow and sat up.

"Do you really want _me _to help you?" He asked, almost in disbelief.

If Fuery wanted him to cook with him _that bad, _maybe he'd try it. Learning to cook may actually turn out to be a pretty good skill to have...

Fuery smiled.

"Of course…Otherwise I wouldn't have asked…"

Edward then stood up and stretched.

"Alright then. What're we havin?"

Fuery turned back toward the stove and said, "Steak and Spaghetti."

Edward's eyes lit up. It had been a while since he had had good food. Come to think of it, the last _decent _meal he had had was at Nora's house. He blushed and laughed to himself.

"_Did I really look THAT much like a girl?_'" He thought.

"_Naw. She was old. Probably needed glasses." _He reassured himself.

Suddenly, a towel was thrown at Edward's head and he growled.

Havoc laughed. "Dry your hair off!" He said firmly and walked over to Fuery.

Fuery then smiled and said, "Oh. Jẽan, you can go and help Riza some more. I just got Mr. Edward to help me…"

Havoc raised an eyebrow, then turned to the boy who was towel drying his hair. Havoc felt a bit jealous at this thought and maybe a little hurt as well.

"Alright then. If that's what you want…" Havoc responded quickly, trying not to let his inner feelings show.

For Edward, Havoc as all too easy to read.

Ed then rolled his eyes and yelled, "Look, Smoker man, I'm not trying to steal your little boyfriend. If you're that insecure then go ahead and go play house with him. I'm going to sleep..."

Havoc and Fuery both blushed as Edward marched down the hallway. He heard the sound of a falling spatula and a muffled cry for help. He didn't want to know about it and he certainly wasn't going to eat any of the food they made. He stuck his tongue out and made a sour face.

"_Ick…"_

He then heard some yelling coming from the bathroom.

"Stupid fricking pants!" Roy yelled as he attempted to pull them off. Edward peeked through the nearly closed door and smirked. Roy was standing on one leg, and hopping around like an idiot. He then quickly sat down, bending his knee and winced in pain.

"Aw shit you dope!" Edward yelled and slammed open the door.

Roy looked over to the steaming pissed Edward and laughed.

"Come back to see my sparkling nudeness?"

Ed growled.

"Just shut up!"

Edward knelt down in front of the Colonel and grabbed onto his legs.

"I don't care how much it hurts, keep them straight!" Ed commanded.

Roy growled. "And you complain about _me _telling _you _what to do…"

Ed rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Shut up…"

He then began to peel the soaking clothes off of the man.

Edward closed his eyes and blushed.

Roy, being a silly jackass, would not get off his butt to allow the pants to be pulled off.

Edward growled and tugged at the sides of the pants, right at the Colonel's thighs.

Roy, even though he was _far_ from a virgin, blushed and got a few chills from the contact. He then decided that Edward needed gloves… Pronto.

Roy took off his Alchemy gloves and grabbed Edward's hands.

"What the hell are you doing?" Edward yelled.

"Just pull these on!" Roy yelled back.

Edward growled, "What, do you have some kind of _glove fetish?" _

Suddenly, Roy started to _completely _crack up.

Edward blushed a bit and growled.

"WHAT?" He yelled.

Roy continued to laugh and between his fits he said,

"You are… just… so damn… funny…"

Ed blinked a couple times and growled.

"You're an idiot. Now pick up your ass so I can take these damn pants off!"

Roy smirked.

"No."

Edward growled and closed his eyes as his eyebrows twitched.

"Is this payback for earlier or something?"

Roy rubbed his chin and smiled deviously.

"Maaaybe…"

Edward growled and gritted his teeth.

"You can get me back for it later. For now, stop being a jerk and cooperate."

Roy blinked a couple times then started to laugh once more.

Edward rolled his eyes and groaned, "What is it _this _time?"

Roy then blurted out rather loudly, "YOU SAID COOPERATE! I never though YOU would say that word. Oh this is rich…"

Ж

As Riza took another drink from her glass of water, a loud slam made a few ripples in it and she sighed.

"Oh Mustang…" She then set the water down and smiled a bit as she listened to the marching of the half-flesh half metal-limbs.

"He's never going to learn, is he?"

She then stood up, pulled her shirt down, straightening it out, and watched the washing machine spin around and around.

She then smiled at the strange and "stupid" similarities she saw between the washing machine and the Colonel.

"Over and Over and Over and Over again…" She said to herself and took another sip from her water.

"You do it over and over and over and over again…"

She then closed her eyes and smiled as she remembered the first time she ever met the man.

Cocky, headstrong, fairly arrogant. He was standing next to a taller brunette man with glasses.

They had both just been transferred. It had been made _her _job to introduce them to the office environment involving tons of random paper work and taking orders from any random person at least one rank higher than you.

At that time, she had wished to be any other person besides herself. She hated this assignment with a purple passion. But she had to do it.

Rumors of Mustang's quick climb up the military ladder led her to believe he was a cheat. Wrong.

She never thought she'd ever consider him anything remotely good, much less a friend. Wrong once again.

He, was like any other militant officer, only… special. He possessed a power in which she had only heard about through various rumors of the office people. The power of Alchemy. She then began to believe that _this _was the reason for his speedy climb. Wrong yet _again_.

He was a brilliant man and she was quite impressed with his knowledge, experience and skills. She thought there was nothing this man could not do. In fact, she was so overly impressed with him; she invited to take him out to lunch. His response was a bit… well…

"How about I take _you _to this great hotel I've been hearing about. Free vibrating beds…"

The response from her was, shall we say, painful?

Riza, coming back to the present smiled nostalgically and took her seat next to the washing machine once more.

The constant spinning and spinning and spinning.

"Just like Roy. Over and Over and Over again."

She sighed,

"Yet…"

She paused.

"Even though he never learns not to do it…"

She sighed again and smirked,

"He wouldn't be the Colonel if he wasn't an idiot…"

She laughed at herself and took another sip.

"Over and over again…Just like a washing machine…Predictable..."

She then stood up and laughed at herself.

"How stupid…"

Riza walked up the stairs to the door and before opening it looked back at the washing machine. She stared at the spinning load for a few moments, then sleepily closed her eyes and laughed.

"Stupid…"

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Whee. So many updates. Don't you all just _love _me? Hehe. Thank you all for your sweet comments and.. OMG! FEEDBACK AND CRITS! Thank you ever so much! Well, don't forget to REVIEW! (And Crit if ya want) Thanks. :)


	32. Chapter 32: Their Plans

Whee. So many many updates. I KNOW you all love me by now. Hehe.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA nor do I want to. So yea.

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Roy sat down on the toilet seat and held his head in his hands.

"Dammit."

He puckered his lips and made a kissing sound.

"I'm an idiot."

Suddenly, from under the door, a bright colored photo flew across the tiles and rested on his bare foot.

Roy rolled his eyes and groaned, "What… Hughes?"

Hughes slowly opened the door and crept in.

"Doesn't her smiling face make you feel oh so happy and warm inside?"

Roy rolled his eyes and half smiled.

"Sure…"

Hughes knelt down in front of the Colonel and began to carefully take the drenched denim

jeans off. Roy lifted his backside and in two seconds they were off, revealing Roy's green

and blue plaid boxer shorts.

Hughes was going to let Roy take care of that himself.

He didn't care how hurt the man was. Hughes then laughed at how easy it had just been.

He stared accusingly at Roy and said,

"And you couldn't do that for poor little Edward?"

Roy closed his eyes and smirked.

"To piss him off… I don't know. It's just so much fun."

Hughes laughed.

"Same old, same old Colonel Mustang."

Roy raised an eyebrow as Hughes turned on the bath water.

"How so?" Roy asked, a bit confused.

Hughes laughed.

"You were the same way with Riza, remember?"

Roy then smirked and closed his eyes.

"Ahh… the good old days."

Hughes laughed.

"Yea, but now it doesn't work on her, does it?"

Roy laughed.

"Yea… she got boring, so I dumped her…"

Hughes burst out into laughter and snorted,

"Umm... I'm pretty she was the one that dumped _you…_"

"No…"

Roy said sarcastically.

"She just decided we should see other people."

He laughed.

"That doesn't count as "dumping"…"

Hughes laughed back.

"Whatever you say…"

Roy chuckled. "I'd hug you if I was fully clothed."

Hughes laughed nervously and said,

"Why's that?"

"Because you understand me…"

Hughes then laughed whole-heartedly and responded,

"Yea… I guess I do…"

When the bath was full, Hughes turned around so Roy could take his "stupid idiot wannabe boxers" off. Hughes couldn't help but laugh some more.

When Roy was finally in the tub, Hughes sat down on the toilet seat and asked,

"How's your leg?"

Roy laughed. "Didn't you see it before?"

Hughes chuckled and said,

"I didn't exactly feel comfortable with checking out your hairy legs, Roy."

Roy and Hughes then shared another enormous laugh and all went quiet.

Hughes deeply inhaled and asked, "You like him, don't you?"

Roy, being unable to lie to Hughes, scrunched his face into a sour look and shut his mouth.

Hughes laughed.

"I already knew you did, I just wanted to confirm it with you…"

Roy laughed.

"You jealous?"

Hughes chuckled a bit and said,

"A few years ago I would have been. But I'm sorry Roy, you got ugly."

They then shared another laugh together and it echoed through the pristine white bathroom.

"So…" Hughes said after a while.

"Yea?"

Hughes took in a breath and closed his eyes,

"What's the plan?"

"What do you mean?" Roy asked.

Hughes took in another breath and responded nervously,

"The whole time we were in that forest, I swear to god, something was watching us…"

Roy had also felt something similar, but he ignored it, telling himself it was forest creatures, or maybe even his overactive imagination at work.

But, alas, Hughes had felt it as well. And Hughes' senses were far better than his, in more ways than one.

Roy took a deep breath and closed his eyes,

"I felt something as well… "

He paused.  
"It turned my stomach sour…"

Hughes took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I know what you're thinking Roy…"

Roy then started to laugh. "Do you, now?"

Hughes nodded his head and mumbled, "Mmmhmm…"

Roy smirked and said, "You and the bean…"

"Huh?" Hughes asked.

"He said the same thing…"

Hughes smirked. "Oh really?"

Roy just laughed and said, "Okay bean, what am I thinking?"

Hughes then took a deep breath and imitated Edward as best as he could by yelling, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TEENY TINY LITTLE PIMPLE ON SOME MIDGETS FACE AND YOU CANT EVEN POP IT BECAUSE ITS SO SMALL AND EVEN IF YOU DID THERE WOULDN'T BE ANYTHING IN IT BECAUSE IT WAS SO SMALL AND THE MIDGET ISNT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT GOING INTO PUBLIC BECAUSE HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS SO DAMN SMALL?"

Roy then began laughing so hard, he nearly choked. Hughes fell off the toilet seat and rolled on the floor, surprised at his perfectly accurate imitation.

When the two finally calmed down, Roy asked, "So what am I thinking…Hughes?"

Hughes closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said, "You're thinking that…

you wish Alicia was here so she could calm your fears and make you feel all special!"

Roy then sucked some water into his mouth, opened the shower door and sprayed it at Hughes.

Hughes laughed and Roy growled.

"Damn you…"

Hughes raised an eyebrow and smiled, "For what?"

Roy glared. "For being a picture freak…"

He paused.

"And for making me laugh, making me... NOT mysterious…"

Hughes laughed and stated matter-of-factly, "Well, you're not…"

They then shared another laugh then all went silent.

Roy was carving little transmutation circles in the soap and he laughed.

"What?" Hughes asked.

"So much for our Vacation…" Roy yelled. "We have to leave already…"

"And where will we go?"

Hughes asked. "We _do _have to keep Ed away from them. Either side will try to use him, you know this…"

Roy took another deep breath and submerged his head in the water. When he came back up, an idea came to him.

"We have to lose them somehow. It's obvious that they're following us."

Hughes laughed sarcastically and asked,

"And how do we go about doing that?"

"Very simple, my friend."

Roy paused.

"We must appoint… a decoy…"

Ж

Edward stared at the ceiling. It was fairly dark in the room and it slightly scared him. He had never been quite a fan of the dark.

He took in a deep breath and waved his hand about in an odd, childish fashion.

He then quickly sat up and held his chin in his hands. He had changed into light purple sweat pants and a white over shirt. His hair was still slightly wet, but it didn't bother him.

He had given his soaking clothes to Riza and hinted the apparent make-out session taking place in the kitchen.

Riza just laughed and handed Edward an apple and a couple candy bars. She obviously knew there wasn't going to be any dinner.

He gratefully accepted and chowed them down in no time. He was still hungry, but he decided he would ignore his angry stomach, and keep his mind occupied with the happenings of earlier that day.

While in the woods with the Colonel, they weren't the only ones present. He wasn't sure whether or not the Colonel noticed, but he swayed more towards Roy being an idiot and unaware of anything.

Edward got the feeling that whatever was out there, it wasn't completely evil. But in the same token, it wasn't completely friendly either.

He was also sure that whatever was out there, there was more than one.

He was also quite sure that Riza had noticed. Maybe Havoc had as well. It wasn't going to surprise him if they were on the move soon.

He didn't exactly like the cabin itself anyway. I mean, he had to share a room with the Colonel. Maybe they could go back and stay with Nora.

No, that would be way too hard. It would be very tricky to keep it a secret that he was in fact, male. She would be putin danger as well.

Also, since he had already said he wouldn't run off again, that was out of the question. Of course, he may be confronted by whatever was out there, and a few more questions may finally be answered. Not to mention he'd be getting everyone else out of danger.

Or it could be that if he ran off, they wouldn't be protected and would be especially in danger. He wasn't exactly sure how capable Riza would be if the thing she faced was as scary as that thing before.

And especially if there were more than one. Roy had been the one to put it down. After all, he had seen them before.

"_He used to help create them_." Ed reminded himself.

He clenched his fist and growled.

"It was stupid. Very stupid. But I know he regrets it…"

He sighed.

"He's probably the only one of us that could stand up to those things…"

Edward figured that obviously they wouldn't scare Roy anymore. But it had _definitely _scared Edward.

Oh, he hoped it wasn't more of them. Maybe they were just normal human spies from the Red Claw. This is what he hoped. This is what he wished.

He was afraid that if it was more of what he saw before, he may just decide to sacrifice himself in order to help them.

But, now that he thought about it, he wanted to anyway.

That was when he decided. The next day he was going to find out what he could do to save those poor creatures, one way, or another. Even if he had sort of promised he would not run off, he had to do something.

"The saddest eyes in the world…"

He sighed.

"They say that your eyes are the windows to your soul…"

He took another deep breath as a tear fell down his face.

"Empty nothingness. Sadness. And Pain… Horrible pain."

He paused.

"Almost like..her soul was gone..."

He then smiled sadly and said,

"Before I go, I'm gonna give the Colonel a chance to tell me…"

He paused.

"And then I'm going to kiss him…"

Ж

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Okay yes, I'm getting on with the plot. I have a developing story in my head and it's still a baby so please be patient with me. As I've said before, if this story ends up sucking, I'm going to write a strictly Romance/Humor RoyXEd FLUFF! Okay:)

Oh and don't forget to REVIEW, REVIEW!


	33. Chapter 33: Morning

Oki doki. Here we go. Chapter… 33, right? Lol

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything like that. So yea.

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Through the night, the temperature dropped severely and a light crystal frost clung to the grass. Havoc chuckled and took another hit off his cigarette.

"_It might just snow after all…" _

The bright morning sun peaked through the trees and Havoc shaded his eyes.

"_Maybe not."_

A mocking bird chirped rather loudly close by and Havoc fought off the urge to throw a rock at it. A squirrel ran up a pine tree off to his left. He sat onathickbranch and stared at the smoking man clad all in black.

Havoc smiled.

"Fuery'd love you…"

The little brown squirrel let out a little chirp then disappeared higher up into the tree. Havoc let out a sigh and the steamed air sat in front of him for a few seconds, then disappeared.

"_I didn't know it was that cold..." _He thought.

He pulled his jacket up closer to his neck and frowned. It _was _pretty cold.

Suddenly he heard footsteps on the gravel walkway and he let out a soft laugh.

"Hey there, kid." Fuerychuckled out.

"I thought I said I didn't like being called a kid." Fuery stated.

Havoc laughed.

"It's just so hard not to…"

Fuery stood beside the tall man and sighed.

He saw his breath before him and lightly gasped.

Fuery then took one ofhis blue wool mittens off his hand and brushed it against Havoc's face.

"You're cold you moron."

Havoc laughed and took another hit of his cigarette.

"Guess I am."

Fuery took off his brown and white scarf and commanded Havoc to sit down on a nearby log.

He pushed him down and Havoc laughed.

"What are you doing?"

Fuery then sat down next to him and placed his scarf around Havoc's neck.

Havoc laughed.

"Why do you have a scarf? It's not _that _cold."

Fuery frowned.

"Never mind that."

He then took his other mitten off and knelt down in front of Havoc.

"What're you doing?" Havoc asked.

Fuery ignored the question and placed the cigarette in between Havoc's lips.

Havoc was now silenced.

Fuery put his mittens on Havoc's much larger hands and frowned when they barely fit.

Havoc laughed from behind his cigarette.

He then grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and laughed.

"Why're you freaking out so much? I'm not cold."

Fuery growled.

"If you can't feel that you're cold, I should be worrying even more."

Havoc raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"You worry too much."

Fuery then smiled wide and said,

"Someone has to."

Ж

When Hughes awoke, he placed his glasses on his face and yawned.

He sleepily stumbled out of bed and tripped over something on the floor, sending him face first into the nearby wall.

He sat up straight and wrinkled his nose. Hughes then let out a sigh and smiled.

There, on his floor, was a sleeping Roy. He was all curled up in a blanket and a pillow that was obviously stolen from Havoc. He could smell the smoke.

Hughes couldn't help but smile and laugh a bit.

"Hey." He said. "What're you doing on my floor?"

Roy rolled over away from Hughes and groaned something in his sleep. "Ed."

Hughes laughed. The man was hopeless.

"What about Ed?"

Roy rolled back over toward Hughes and blinked a couple times.

"Sorry." Roy whispered.

"For what?"

"For intruding on your floor."

Hughes smiled.

"I don't care. Just... why?"

Roy smiled.

"Is it not obvious?"

Hughes sighed and smiled.

"He kick you out?"

Roy glared at the other man then smiled slyly and said,

"No, I happen to be a gentleman. I _am _in a bathrobe you know…"

Hughes then stood up straight and laughed out, "Then get off my floor…"

Ж

Riza pulled her gun from under her pillow and sighed. She hated mornings.

She squinted and noticed two familiar figures outside her window. Naturally, she kept her curtains away from her windows for maximum visibility.

She then smiled and stumbled up. Havoc and Fuery were chasing each other around the front "yard".

"_They're so cute_." She thought.

She then shook her head and laughed. "I am such a girl sometimes."

Ж

Ed blinked a couple times and frowned. It was morning already. He hadn't slept hardly at all. He then placed a pillow over his head and groaned.

"I'm not waking up. It's not morning yet. It's not morning yet. If I go to sleep… it'll go away."

His attempted self-created delusion was then shattered as a very familiar voice called out his name.

"_Dammit_." He thought.

"Go away." Ed yelled.

There was loud hard knocking on his door and he mumbled from under the pillow. "I'm not waking up!"

The deep voice chuckled and suddenly the door was kicked open.

"DAMMIT!" Ed yelled and sat up straight.

"Go away!" He shouted.

Hughes laughed.

"Boy, you have bed head…"

Edward then threw himself back down and pulled the covers over his head.

"Go away picture freak."

"He actually doesn't have many pictures in his room. Surprisingly." Another familiar voice called out.

Hughes laughed. "That's because Riza told me that if I put holes in these walls, she'd pulls holes in me."

Roy laughed.

"Did she now?"

Roy then stumbled into the room and whispered to Hughes,

"Let me handle this…"

Hughes slowly crept out and closed the door behind him, giggling all the way.

Roy then carefully tiptoed over to Edward's side and smiled deviously.

This was going to be fun.

He then ripped the covers off the boy's face and whispered, "Peek-a-boo."

Edward smirked and screamed out, "PEDOPHILE!"

Ж

Havoc and Fuery smiled as all the birds in the trees flew at the racket.

"He's done it again, has he not?" Fuery laughed out.

"Yep." Havoc responded and took another hit.

"You really shouldn't smoke you know." Fuery stated.

Havoc took the cigarette from his mouth, stared at it, then at Fuery.

He then sighed, threw the almost brand new cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.

Havoc then quickly stood up and said, "Let's go back inside… it's cold out here."

Ж

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Yes, tis a filler. So sue me. Anywhos. Thank you for all the kind reviews and keep leaving more! Hehe. Thanks again for reading and be sure to leave any comments/complaints/praises/ideas or suggestions you may have. Please and thank you. Tata.


	34. Chapter 34: Eavesdropping

Whee. Here I am again!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything like that. So yea.

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Roy sat outside Edward's down and frowned. He had an invisible word tattooed on his head. It read, "Defeated."

Hughes laughed, kneeling down to poke the crumpled ball of flesh.

"You're an idiot you know…" Havoc called out from the living room.

Riza then opened her door and stared at the sulking man.

She looked at Hughes and as if they had their own secret language, she nodded her head and walked down the hall.

Havoc scratched his head and frowned. How many other people knew this… "Secret and silent language"?

Fuery was in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast.

It made Edward's stomach growl and he mentally kicked himself when it finally coaxed him from his bed.

He opened his door, only to have a large "sack of potatoes" fall onto his feet.

Roy stared up at the angry golden eyes and sighed.

"Too bad you're not wearing a skirt…"

Ж

Havoc stared down the hall and nearly choked on his food when he saw the Colonel up against the wall on the other side of the hall.

He then stared at the extremely irate young man marching into the living room and said,

"He's hurt you know?"

Edward frowned and growled out, "Yea… definitely is now."

Riza sighed from the window seat and frowned. "So much punching. Pretty soon we won't recognize him."

Hughes laughed from the chair in the corner and said, "No worries, he _kicked _him this time."

Havoc, Hughes and Fuery let out a round of laughs.

Edward ignored the hysterical trio and let his stomach do all the talking.

Havoc pointed to the stove and laughed. "There're some eggs and sausages left over from Nora."

"Sweet old lady." Hughes commented.

Fuery smiled and called out to Ed, "There're also some apples and other fruits in the refrigerator."

Ed nodded his head and grabbed a plate from the cupboard.

Havoc then decided to be a jackass and said, "There's also milk."

Edward completely ignored the "smoker man", filled his plate with food and announced, "I think I'm going to eat in my room…"

"It's Roy's room too." Havoc reminded him.

Hughes then laughed out, "Not anymore. Roy slept on my floor last night."

Havoc stared down the hall and called out, "Really? You got kicked out by the shrimp?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP THAT IS so small that it has to….." Ed stopped and frowned.

He then began walking down the hall and growled, "You piss me off, Smoker man."

Fuery put his plate down and stood up. He watched Edward step over the "big, ugly, stupid, useless Colonel" and slowly close the door behind him.

"I don't think you should have said that…" Riza stated.

"Yea." Havoc said shamefully and frowned. "I know."

Ж

When Edward was finished with his meal, he placed the plate on the nightstand and frowned.

"Jerks."

He then took a deep breath and opened his door. Roy was no longer across the hall.

It looked like he was going to have to either wait to talk to him, or ask to talk to him in private. And lord knows what they'd all think.

"Like I care…" He growled out and headed toward the living room.

He heard Roy talking and decided he would listen in first.

"That's why I believe we need a decoy…" Roy announced.

"What do you mean?" Riza asked.

"We have to lure them away so we have a chance to get to higher ground." Hughes explained.

Havoc chuckled a bit and laughed out, "Well, no one here is short enough to even _remotely _look like the bean except for Fuer-"

Havoc paused.

"I don't think so." He growled.

"Why not?" Roy asked and strolled over to the boy.

"You're willing to put your life on the line for the mission, _aren't_ you?" Roy asked.

Havoc got up fast and growled, "No he's not! He's not going anywhere!"

"Havoc, it-it's okay." Fuery stuttered out.

"No it's not okay! You'll be chimera-bait!"

"What else do you propose we do?" Riza asked from her perch in the window seat.

All eyes went to her and Havoc sat down.

"What do you mean?" Havoc asked.

Riza stood up and leaned against the wall.

"We have to."

She paused.

"Though, we'll have to keep this a secret from Edward. If he found out, he'd try to run off. We all know how he is about causing people to be put into danger because of him."

Roy sighed and said, "We can say Fuery is going back to report our status…"

Havoc growled, "Why are we even having this discussion?"

Riza tucked a loose hair behind her ear and stated,

"It's obvious they're out there. They know where we are. They knew we have Ed. They also know what Ed is capable of."

She paused.

"It's most likely that both sides are here and hiding from one another." She paused again. "They both want him…"

Hughes sighed, closed his eyes and said, "Red Claw, and the Resistance…"

Havoc growled and shouted, "Why can't they just have him?"

That was when Roy stood up.

"I won't _ever_ hand him over to EITHER side! How dare you even suggest such a thing!"

Havoc marched over to the Colonel, getting in his face and yelled, "Great! So you understand why I won't allow Cain to be used as bait!"

"It's the only way!" Roy yelled.

Fuery then stood up quick and yelled, "I'll do it!"

Havoc looked over and stared at the boy. "But… It's too dangerous."

Fuery glared. "I said I'll do it, Jẽan."

Havoc then bit his lip and whispered, "Fine."

He stormed outside and slammed the door, causing the whole cabin to shake a bit.

Fuery frowned and stared at Roy. He seemed concerned.

"He'll be alright." Fuery said and smiled.

Roy shook his head.

"No. If anything happens to you…" He paused.

"He'll kill me…"

Ж

Edward sank down onto the floor and leaned against the wall. Now Fuery was going to be put into danger because of him.

"That's it." He said.

He then stood up quick, walked into the living room and announced, "Colonel Useless, I need to talk to you!"

Roy's eyes went large. Oh he hoped Ed hadn't heard what had just taken place.

"What about?" Roy asked shakily.

Edward glared.

"About why they want me…"

He paused.

"And other questions I may have... you are going to answer them all..."

Ж

Ж

Ж

Lol. Yes, I know I'm draggin' it out. It's fun. Anyway, thanks for all your sweet comments and REVIEW, REVIEW! Thanks.


	35. Chapter 35: Negotiations

Tada. Another update today. You better all praise me! lol j/k hehe. Anyway, yea. Hope you enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything like that. So yea.

Ж

Ж

Ж

Riza stood up straight and walked to her door.

"Don't lie to him anymore." She said, and closed her door.

Hughes disappeared down the hall as well after whispering,

"He deserves to know…"

Fuery slightly bowed his head and walked outside, carefully closing the door behind him.

Ed bowed his head and his hair covered his face. Roy stared at the boy and felt himself shake a bit.

He had heard everything.

"I'm not gonna let Fuery do that…" Ed stuttered out.

"He already agreed to it…" Roy stated coolly and sat down.

Edward glared at Roy and shouted, "How can you say that so calmly? Do you enjoy playing with people?"

Roy closed his eyes and winced as if he were in pain.

"I'm not "playing" with Fuery…"

Ed glared and said, "No… just his life…"

Silence.

That one cut straight through Roy. There was nothing he could think of to say. Defeated again. Shamefully.

"I'm just following orders." He finally spit out.

"Orders to send your lower ranking officers to their deaths?"

"NO!" Roy yelled and stood up. "MY ORDERS TO PROTECT YOUR SORRY ASS!"

Ed growled and yelled back, "I NEVER ASKED TO BE PROTECTED!"

Roy chuckled a bit and said, "Too bad…it's my job."

Ed glared and growled, "Then stop doing your job! It's not like anything good is going to come out of it!"

Roy laughed and said, "Do you really think of yourself to be so low?"

Ed growled. "My life is not worth the many lives it's taken to "protect" me…"

He paused.

"And to add Fuery's life to the equation tilts the scales a bit too off center for my taste…"

Silence.

Roy then closed his eyes, cracked a bit of a smile and said,

"Fine. We'll say you had a massive growth spurt and I'll wear the wig…"

Ed growled. "Do you enjoy being an obnoxious jerk?"

Roy rubbed his chin and smiled. "Only for you…

"You." Ed began. "Are such…" He paused.

"YOU ARE SUCH A BIG FAT UGLY JERK! I WAS GONNA KISS YOU TODAY! BUT NO! YOU HAVE TO GO AND BE AN ASSHOLE!"

Ed then gasped and slapped his hand over his mouth.

Roy was blushing. "Wha?" He tried to say.

Ed's eyes were the size of dinner plates and his blush was clear to his ears.

Roy then slowly stood up and strolled over to the blushing boy.

"Stay away from me!" Ed yelled.

"But I want to kiss you…" Roy whined.

That was when Ed got an idea.

"If you tell me why they want me…" He paused.

"If you tell me what I can do..."

He took a breath and stared at Roy who was now two feet away from him.

"If you tell me all that…"

He blushed and looked away.

"Yes?" Roy asked.

Edward bowed his head and whispered, "I'll let you do whatever you want…"

Silence.

Roy rubbed his chin and smiled. "Really?"

No response.

Roy then put his hands behind his back and grinned.

"No deal."

"WHAT?" Ed yelled.

Roy laughed and grabbed Edward's chin.

"Because you're too innocent for such things…"

Silence.

Roy turned his back on the boy and said, "Annnd also… it would be for the wrong reasons…"

He turned his head and winked at Edward.

"If I take you… it'll be in the heat of love…"

Edward blushed and growled, "Don't say such things!"

Roy laughed and said, "I'll say what I want…"

Roy then began strolling down the hall laughing.

"Wait!" Edward called out.

Roy stared at Ed from the corner of his eye and said, "What?"

Edward then fell to his knees and yelled, "Please tell me how I can help them! I'll do anything! Anything you want me to do!"

Roy laughed.

"What I want…" He paused.

"You couldn't give me what I want if I told you that…"

Edward brought his head up and stared.

"Why's that?"

Roy laughed and smiled, "Because I want you to stay innocent… and live…"

Edward was taken aback. What the hell was this? What was Roy trying to say?

"Hey..." Roy said.

"Don't look so surprised…"

Edward walked to "their" room and opened the door.

"Come in here and we'll talk… away from the eavesdroppers…"

Ed then looked outside to see Havoc and Fuery running away from the window with handprints and ear-prints in the glass.

"You guys are gonna get it later!" Ed yelled.

He then looked toward Roy, who seemed a bit impatient.

"How much you wanna bet Riza and Hughes are listening as well?" Roy asked, pointing to the doors of the officers mentioned.

Ed growled. "Fine. Let's go."

He then reluctantly marched into the room and Roy closed the door.

Ж

"Dammit!" Havoc yelled.

"What?" Fuery asked, a bit frightened.

Havoc planted himself on another log and pulled out a cigarette.

"Why can't he just tell him?"

Fuery smiled and said, "He's probably going to tell him right now…"

Havoc laughed and pulled out his lighter.

"Yea... after he takes advantage of him..."

Fuery smiled nervously and said, "I don't think Mr. Edward would allow that kind of thing…"

Havoc laughed hysterically and yelled out, "You've seen how he acts around the Colonel! Remember at Nora's house? Or in the woods? Or how about back at Headquarters every time Roy would call the runt into his office? He'd get all giddy and freaky…"

Fuery smiled shyly and said, "That's how you are when you're in love…"

Havoc then looked up at the blushing Fuery and smiled.

"Yea, I guesso."

He then looked down at his cigarette and frowned.

"Dammit!"

He then threw the unlit cigarette in the woods along with his lighter.

Fuery smiled.

"So, why don't we go and see if I can somehow look like Mr. Edward?"

Havoc growled.

"I'm going with you, you know…"

Fuery smiled shyly and whispered, "I don't think the Colonel will allow that…"

Havoc laughed and said, "Like I care…"

Ж

Roy and Edward sat on opposite sides of the bed and everything was silent.

Edward then decided to break the silence by saying,

"I'm so confused…"

Roy sighed. "I know…"

Ed blinked a couple times and turned around.

"You gonna tell me now?"

Roy sighed and squinted his gleaming eyes. He had told himself he wouldn't cry, so he wouldn't.

"I guess I have to, right? I mean…"

He paused and smiled. It was time to be a little evil.

"If I tell you, I get to have my way with you…"

Ж

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Jeeze. Roy is such a pig sometimes. Hehe. Well, I hope you liked it and if you didn't, please tell me why and stuff. Anyway yea. Don't forget to REVIEW, REVIEW! Thanks. :)


	36. Chapter 36: Revealed

Okay... I guess you all deserve an explanation as to why this took so damn long.

Well...

There's been a whole lot going on. For one, a dear friend is sick and they don't know what's wrong with him.

For two, school has been very hectic and annoying and blah. And for three there's some personal things going on that... umm... yeah.

Not to mention my computer broke down for a while. _And _I've been having trouble with the plot. Can't decide on what I'm gonna write. Lol

I hope you all understand and forgive me. I will be trying to update more often now that almost everything has been settled, my computer has been fixed and my plot idea has been cemented.

Well, kind of cemented. Hehe.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything so yea.

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Ed nearly choked on his own saliva and stuttered out, "I thought you said that I was too innocent and stuff and…"

Roy laughed. "So I lied…"

Ed was speechless. What could he say to that?

Roy then began laughing hysterically.

He turned around to stare at the blushing, baffled, innocent little boy.

"You're so cute…" Roy laughed out and smirked.

Ed growled, "What the hell? You were kidding?"

Roy nodded his head and fell backward onto the bed. His head was directly beside Edward. Ed growled.

"Get the hell away from me…"

Roy whined," But I thought you were going to kiss me…"

Ed growled. "Not right now, now tell me what I can do…"

Roy laughed. "I never said that's what we were going to talk about…

Ed growled and stood up. "No more of your games! Tell me what I want to know!"

Roy closed his eyes and sat up. His techniques weren't working.

"Well, little one…"

Ed growled. "Don't call me little… and tell me what I want to know…"

Roy laughed. "Don't have the time. We're leaving soon." He stood up quick and headed toward the door. He had to end this conversation quickly.

Edward then jumped him from behind, causing him to fall back onto the bed. Edward had him in a choker hold and smiled sadistically.

"Tell me what I want to know you jackass!"

Roy choked a bit then laughed out," Under threat of death, I still wouldn't dream of telling you how you could kill yourself…"

Ed loosened his grip and Roy was immediately turned and over him.

"Get off of me!" Ed yelled.

Roy laughed and grabbed Edward's hands, holding them above his head.

Roy stared into the golden eyes. He could still see the savage nature that rested within them. It always managed to scare him a little.

But this time, it wasn't frightening. They were sad and vulnerable. They were the kind of eyes that caged animals possessed. What was this?

He brought his face very close to Edward's and whispered, "I'm a jerk."

"Yea well, I could have told you that!" Ed growled.

Roy ignored the response and continued,

"The Resistance wants you because you can save them, which would ultimately kill you.

The Red Claw wants you because you can help the Resistance, so they're threatened. They want to use you, or kill you…"

Roy then stood up and sat beside Edward on the bed.

"What else do you want to know?"

Ed raised an eyebrow and stared at the Colonel. "That easy?"

"Huh?" Roy said in confusion, without turning his head. He wouldn't look at Ed. Those eyes...

Edward cracked a slight smile and said, "You just said all that... just like that… after all those games and tricks…"

Roy laughed sadly and said, "Yea, well I'm outta games and tricks…"

Ed smirked and tilted his head. "Really?"

Roy growled, "What else do you want to know?"

"Why won't you look at me?"

Roy gulped. Why was he so damn observant?

"Because I don't want to…"

"Whatever."

Roy began fiddling with his shirt cuffs and said, "What else do you want to know?"

"What can I do to help them?"

Roy gulped and stuttered out, "It's basically…" He paused. He couldn't do it.

He then stood up directly in front of Edward and yelled, "I can't tell you what you can do because…"

Roy paused.

Ed reached for Roy's hand, pulled it up to his face and cupped it around his cheek. He could feel Roy's heart beating though the hand so he knew the man was nervous. Ed leaned his cheek against the hand and closed his eyes.

Roy then grabbed the young boy and pulled him into a massive bear hug.

"Colonel?" Roy rested his head on Ed's shoulder and whispered,

"The only way to help them… is to become... one of them..."

Ж

Winry looked over to Alphonse and frowned. Even though he couldn't express himself, a heartbreaking aura was surrounding him. She could _feel _he was sad.

"Al?"

She whispered from across the way. Al was staring out the window at the fast moving landscape.

The trees and the hills all seemed to blur into one big dab of color like it was made by a three year old with a paintbrush.

"I don't want to go back, Winry…" He whispered.

"I want to find my brother… and help him…Those people.. are so close..."

He paused.

"They already know where they are. It's just a matter of time."

Winry bowed her head and fought back the need to fall into a puddle of sorrow. She hated feeling useless.

"I want to help him too… It's not fair... Especially when he's so close. I want to help him so much..." She whispered.

"But you can't…" A depressed Breda said as he walked down the isle and sat next to Winry.

"It's safer for you guys to be uninvolved."

Alphonse felt a surge of anger run through him, but stayed silent.

Winry's face lightened up a bit and she pointed her finger at a few wild horses running along the countryside.

"Mustangs." Breda said and laughed a bit.

Winry slightly smiled and Breda felt proud that he could lighten the mood a bit.

Alphonse suddenly took in a deep breath and said, "We _can _help him…" He then stood up as if a great epiphany had come to him.

Winry looked up and stared, "Don't be getting any dangerous ideas..." She growled.

It was then that the depressing aura lifted. And she knew that he was thinking something dangerous.

It was almost as if… she could see him smirking under that mask. With his golden eyes narrowed and his smile reaching all the way to his ears. She knew what he was going to do.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Alphonse was down the row of seats opening one of the separator doors.

"No! Alphonse!" Breda yelled out.

"I have to help my brother!" Alphonse yelled, jumped off the train and rolled down the bushy, rocky hill.

Winry ran to the door and was about to jump as well, but Breda grabbed her.

"Let me go! I want to help Edward!" She pulled on the doorway, trying to pull away from Breda.

She kicked and screamed but the other officers helped Breda back in and held her in place. She looked out the window and the train suddenly stopped as Alphonse ran even faster. They all fell to the floor and Winry was the first to get back up.

"RUN ALPHONSE!" Winry yelled.

Breda growled and stood in front of Winry yelling, "Ms. Rockbell! If we don't get you two back safely, you could be in danger!"

Winry pushed Breda away and yelled, "RIGHT NOW, EDWARDS'IN DANGER! WHAT ARE WE? COWARDS?"

Breda growled, "Edward is with Colonel Roy Mustang, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Second Lieuten—"

He was then cut off by a steaming Winry, "Colonel Mustang is a womanizing, arrogant pervert! I wouldn't trust him with my grandmother!"

Silence.

Winry stared as the other officers went running after Alphonse. She knew they wouldn't catch him. Not in a million years.

_"Be safe, boys." _

Ж

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Oh, I just wanted to thank you all for your kind, wonderful reviews. Every time I checked my e-mail at the library, I felt very happy! You're all so sweet. Thank you.

Okay, well… In the next few months I think I'm going to be expanding my Fanfic collection to include some other very interesting anime. Like _Getbackers, Pretear, Full Metal Panic, _and a few others. So yea, watch out for that! Hehe.

Alright! Alphonse is back in the story! Woot! Although, Winry is also. I know the majority of you hate her, and I'm sorry. So yeah. Lol.

Oh, don't ask what Roy means. You'll find out in the NEXT CHAPTER. Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn. I crack myself up. Haha. Well, adios. Oh and... REVIEW, REVIEW!


	37. Chapter 37: Snow

Woot. Another chapter. You all better love me and thanks for the sweet reviews. Hehe.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and yea.

Ж

Riza took a deep breath in and her eyes widened as she let it out. She could see her breath. The temperature was definitely dropping. She walked to her window and stared outside. The sky was getting pretty cloudy.

"So it will snow."

She picked up her glass of tea and took a sip. She put a hand on her hip and smiled as she remembered days long passed.

"Got ya!"

"Stupid Mustang! Go play snow games with someone else, I'm busy."

"But I wanna play with you."

"Get over it."

"I will not get over it."

"Oh well, I'm leaving…"

"No you're not!"

"Get off me!"

"Hehehehe. Never!"

Riza then shook herself out of it, set her cup down, and grabbed a rather large coat from her closet.

"_Roy, It's going to snow…_"

Ж

Ed took in a deep breath and quickly pushed Roy away.

"What?" He said in disbelief.

Roy turned his back to the baffled young boy and shook.

"What you do now…" He whispered in a shaky voice.

"Is up to you…"

Ed's expression twisted into a mix between fear and disgust.

"I don't understand!"

Roy turned on his heel and yelled, "THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOu don't you understand…?"

Roy's expression changed and suddenly he felt so weak, a kitten armed with a feather could beat him up.

He blinked a few times and almost fell backward. He leaned against the wall and forced himself to stand straight.

"Are you okay?" Ed asked in concern.

Roy stumbled back a little and held his head. "I'm fine... just..." He then fell to his knees and in two seconds flat, Edward was down there to help him.

Roy fell into Ed's arms face first and began to softly sob. He held onto the boy and refused to let go.

"Don't try. Just please. Don't do it." Roy sniffled out.

Ed closed his eyes and fought back his tears. He held Roy's head to his chest and rested his chin atop it.

He wrapped his arms around the larger man and remained silent. He couldn't say anything.

Roy was holding onto Edward so tightly, Ed felt he might break, but he didn't care.

Ed forced out a nervous laugh and stuttered, "What happened to the cunning, sly, foxy Colonel we all know and love?"

Roy sniffed and said, "Gone."

"No he's not."

Ed laughed nervously and softly pulled the Colonel's head away from his chest. He stretched the man's lips into a smile and said,

"See, there he is."

Roy quickly wiped any evidence of tears and stood up straight. He didn't like crying on front of people.

But with Edward, he felt he could. But he would not. Not anymore. He wouldn't let the boy see him weak any longer.

He made a fist and said, "I've decided."

He paused.

"I'm not going to give you the chance to do anything stupid…"

He took in a breath and turned. "We could go with plan A or B."

Ed looked up at the man. He hoped he was just being an ass, but his face was as stern as stone.

Roy looked away. "With Plan A, you are hogtied with ropes and we carry you around with a stick. Plan B, you are handcuffed to someone."

Ed smirked. "I totally read that in a book once…"

Roy growled.

"Never mind that. Which plan would you like?"

Ed smirked.

"Plan C… You kiss me goodbye and I leave."

Roy then smirked and said, "I have no problem with kissing you. Just not goodbye…"

Ed scowled.

"I'm leaving."

Roy laughed and said, "Heh, no you're not."

He then grabbed the boy's hand and said, "If you won't decide on your own, I'll decide for you…"

Roy laughed and cuffed the boy's hand.

"Let's go find Hughes. He'll be so thrilled."

Ж

Fuery shivered. "That's kind of… disturbing." He said and frowned.

Havoc nodded his head.

"Yea. To become one of them."

Fuery shook his head. "I'm kind of sorry I asked."

He paused.

"How do you know about this?"

"Hughes." Havoc blurted out.

He grinded his teeth and said, "It's like a forceful cult.

It's the freakiest thing I've ever seen. Some of them share minds; most of them are linked together somehow.

I don't fully understand it, neither does Roy. No one really does. Not even the people who create them."

He paused.

"The sad thing is, they're not even really chimeras."

Fuery tilted his head off to the side and said, "What do you mean?"

Havoc felt a slight blush go across his face. Fuery was so cute. He then shook his head and slowly said,

"They're not really chimeras. A Chimera is one or more things blended into one. These things are just… I don't know what they are."

Fuery hugged himself and shook. He was cold, but he also scared. He didn't want to face them, but he had to.

For Edward.

Havoc slightly laughed and suddenly grabbed the smaller man.

"Wha?"

Havoc chuckled and put Fuery in his lap, wrapping his big arms around him.

Fuery felt his cheeks get hot and he leaned into the larger man's chest.

Havoc smiled at this response and said, "You looked really silly in that wig earlier…"

Fuery laughed, "Yea. But... I gotta do it."

Havoc held on a little tighter and said, "Yea, I know."

Suddenly, Havoc stretched out his arm and a small white snowflake fell into his cupped hand.

Fuery sat up a little to look at the dissolving ice ball.

"I was right." Havoc said and laughed.

He took a breath in and said, "Snow."

Ж

Okay yea. Hehe. I'm kind of in a rush to finish as many chapters today as I can so yea. Hehe. Thanks for the reviews!


	38. Chapter 38: Crazy, Sad Hawkeye

Well, hello everybody! Long time no see! I apologize MUCH for the long wait. I'm very, very sorry. I hate to say it, but chances are the updates are going to be very far apart now. Some things are going on that need to be handled and school is coming up besides. I just want to thank all my loyal readers. I love you guys. Thanks for still reading even though it's not as fast as it once was. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and stuff so yea.

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Edward growled as Hughes began packing all his pictures of Elicia. Hughes laughed.

"It's not _that _bad is it?" He asked.

Ed growled. "Yes, it is."

Roy stared and laughed from the corner.

"You're just disappointed that you're not cuffed to me…"

Ed growled then smirked.

"Hughes, I will forever appreciate the fact that you let me be cuffed to you."

Hughes laughed. "My pleasure."

Roy then opened Hughes' closet and pulled out a rather large box.

"What's that?" Ed asked.

Hughes smiled. "It's our collection of disguises."

Ed rolled his eyes.

Roy laughed. "This isn't going to be much fun. I have to make you look like Fuery."

He pouted.

Hughes whined,"I wanted to make him look like a girl or something."

Roy laughed. "He already does."

Ed narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"Shut up you ancient old geezer."

"I… am NOT old." Roy said and laughed.

Hughes chuckled and said, "Denial."

Roy shook his head and smirked. "You've turned against me!"

Hughes laughed and said, "Just telling the truth."

They then patted each other on the back and enjoyed a few rounds of laughs together. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Men."

"_WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?"_

Ж

Riza chuckled a bit as she stared at the transformed Fuery. He didn't look _exactly _like Edward, but pretty darn close.

Havoc scratched his head. "Why is he wearing sunglasses and a big fat hat?"

Riza smiled.

"We have to make it look like it's Edward in disguise."

"Right." Havoc said, not really understanding anything at the moment.

"Wait!" Riza said. "Not done yet!"

She then went rummaging in Havoc's drawers. "Hey! That's personal!" Havoc yelled.

Riza scowled. "Like I care..."

She then walked to his closet and yelled out, "Yes!" when she found what she was looking for.

It was Havoc's old letterman's jacket. Riza smiled and placed it on the tiny man's shoulders. It was pretty big on him.

Havoc held his mouth and tried to keep himself from laughing. Poor little Fuery was wearing a blonde wig, a big fat black hat, dark blue jeans, Edward's black boots, a blue shirt and the letterman's jacket. He looked so weird.

Fuery frowned. "Don't laugh at me."

Havoc turned around and whistled innocently.

Fuery rolled his eyes. "Let's just get this over with."

Havoc turned back around and laughed. "You have to pretend to resist."

Fuery laughed. "I know."

Riza smiled. She wished she could go. This was going to be interesting.

Ж

Edward ran out of Hughes' room down the hall straight to the door. He was covered in all sorts of accessories and clothes and scarves and shirts. "NO MORE!" He yelled.

Riza quickly opened Havoc's door and ran straight towards the walking ball of laundry attempting to get the door open. She grabbed him and pulled his hands behind his back.

She growled. "Mustang! Hughes!"

Hughes and Roy slowly crept from the room and down the hall. Riza sounded pissed.

"Yes?" Roy asked nervously.

Riza pushed Edward toward him and said, "I think this belongs to you."

Roy laughed nervously and Hughes quickly clamped the cuff back onto Ed's hand.

Riza then started to laugh.

Ed raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Riza held her stomach and yelled out, "You're cuffed to Hughes?"

She paused.

"That's a fate worse than death!"

Hughes, feeling a bit more confused than hurt, scratched his head with his free hand.

"Riza…" Roy whispered.

Riza attempted to calm herself down and said, "What?"

Roy smiled sadly, looked away and said, "You're laughing…"

Riza's eyes widened and she held her mouth shut.

Ed blinked a couple times and stared at Hughes. He had a very bleak look plastered to his face.

He then stared at Roy whose sad glaring eyes were rigid on Riza.

Ed's eyes went to her. She looked as though she was about to cry.

"Hawkeye?" Ed whispered.

Riza then blinked a couple times, nervously smiled and said, "I apologize."

She then said, "Excuse me" and hurried off to her room.

Ed blinked a couple times and stared at Roy.

"What was that?" He then asked.

Roy shook his head and said, "She's always like that…"

Hughes closed his eyes and said, "She hates to laugh in front of Roy…"

Ed raised an eyebrow and said, "Why?"

Roy then plopped himself down on the couch, put his hands behind his head and said, "Because…" He paused.

"She hates me."

Ж

Riza sat down next to her bed and held her legs to her chest.

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered.

Suddenly there was a knock at her door.

"Riza?" A voice called out.

"Go away, Havoc." She called out.

Slowly the door opened and Havoc took a step in.

Riza growled, "I said go away."

Havoc laughed. "I'm hurt."

Riza rolled her eyes and scowled, "Go away."

Havoc scratched his head and eased himself cautiously into the room. He sat down on the other side of the bed and said,

"You laughed…"

Riza growled, "Go the hell away!"

Havoc sighed, "Whatever is up, needs to be put away for the time being. The focus right now is keeping Edward safe."

Riza growled, "I just…"

She paused.

"I just hate him sometimes…"

Havoc laughed.

"Yea, I could see that happening…"

Riza sighed and said, "I know I would ruin your time together but…"

She paused.

"What?" Havoc asked.

"No. Never mind." Riza said back.

Havoc laughed and stood up quick.

He then, before leaving said, "Riza, you have no choice. You must accompany Fuery and I."

Riza then looked up at the closed door and sighed.

"Jean…"

She paused.

"You suck."

Havoc laughed from behind the door and said, "Yea, I do."

He then walked off to leave Riza to herself.

Havoc smiled and thought, "To never laugh again…"

He paused. "Crazy."

He then laughed aloud and thought, "Well, that's just…" He paused.

"That's Riza…"

"Crazy…"

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Yes, I'm aware I'm sending mixed messages. Yes, Riza likes Roy. Roy likes Ed. Ed likes Roy. Havoc likes Riza and Fuery. Fuery likes Havoc. WOW! INSANE! Lol, yes I know I'm annoying. Oh, thank you all for your sweet, sweet comments and for continuing to read this fic even though the update is SLOOOOW. Love you all. Laters.


	39. Chapter 39: Don't Cry

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"Ready to go?" Havoc asked.

He slowly opened the door to the room he and Fuery shared and tapped on the doorway.

Havoc's eyes went large.

Fuery was almost completely naked except for a little wash cloth he had placed across his genitals in the slight hope of actually keeping it out of Havoc's sight.

Havoc put a hand to his eyes and tried not to laugh.

It was so cute, yet so wrong, yes so funny, yet so cute.

"What are you doing?" Havoc laughed out.

Fuery growled. "I thought I should wash everything before we leave."

Havoc fell against the wall laughing and slapped his forehead.

"You crack me up."

He then came to a conclusion.

"Did you walk down there in the buff?"

Fuery growled, "I had clothes when I went down there, thank you!"

Havoc then started laughing even harder and said, "So you came _up _in the buff?"

Fuery growled.

"So?"

Havoc's eyes went a little larger and he choked out, "Did... Mustang... did he... see...you?"

It was then Fuery's turn to laugh.

"No you nit! I was wearing a towel!", He yelled and threw the towel at him.

Havoc then erupted into a rather large fit of laughter and yelled out, "You had me going there."

Fuery laughed and said proudly, "Yes, I did."

He leaned his head against the wall and said, "If he had... I would've..."

He paused.

"I would've told Edward... then..."

He laughed at the thought and said, "I would've killed him."

Fuery laughed. "I would have too. No worries."

Havoc then got a thought.

"Hey Fuery…"

"Hm?"

"If I saw…" He paused.

"Would you kill me?"

Fuery laughed. "Maybe not _kill _you, but I would be pretty mad."

Havoc laughed. "Well, that's good."

He paused and laughed.

"I can risk that…"

Ж

Riza rolled her eyes as the door closed.

"'Bout damn time, Havoc…"

She then walked to Hughes' room and pressed her ear against the wood.

"I'm not wearing that!" Edward yelled.

"It looks like... I don't know. Like something a girl would wear!"

Roy laughed.

"I'm sorry Hughes, as cute as it may be, Fuery doesn't dress like a girl…"

Hughes made a sad face and sighed.

"I understand…"

Riza then slowly opened the door and said,

"Why not just put him in the uniform you idiots?"

Roy then laughed and put his hand into the snapping gesture.

Upon reflex, Edward grabbed the hand and yelled, "You idiot! You wanna fry us?"

Hughes then burst into laughter and said, "He doesn't have them gloves on!"

Roy laughed, "Don't you mean my "boom-boom" gloves?"

Hughes laughed even harder and fell against the wall, pulling Edward along with him.

"Poor Edward." Riza thought and began to walk off.

"Oh." She said as a lost thought.

She looked straight at Hughes and said while pointing to Havoc and Fuery's shared room, "Maybe we should make departure time a bit later umm…"

She paused and made a kissy face, then moved her hands around in a few strange gestures Edward had never seen before.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ed yelled.

Roy cupped Edward's face and said, "Ahh! The power of love!"

Hughes then put his hand on Ed's shoulder and said, "Yes! The power of love!"

Riza rolled her eyes and said, "Tomorrow it is." She then walked off, shaking her head in disgust.

"Men…"

Ж

Edward's eyes then went large and he choked.

"You... mean... them... and... now... I mean... right... now... they... hush... are... doing...it... them... in that room... right now…"

Hughes just laughed and said, "Oh yes! Isn't it beautiful?"

Roy snickered and said, "Bout time too…"

Edward felt as though he might faint and fell backward onto Hughes' bed. Slightly dragging Hughes along.

Roy felt Ed's head and said, "No fever, so you can't wimp out now."

Ed growled out sleepily and said, "Yes, I can."

Hughes brought his face pretty close to Edward's and said, "He's pretty tired, Roy"

Roy then opened the door to look down the hall at the clock and said, "Wow."

He then looked at Hughes and said, "I didn't think dress-up could make the time fly by so fast!"

Edward's tummy then grumbled and Roy laughed.

"Well, since Fuery is a bit… busy… I'll have to cook."

Edward felt as though he might die. "Oh god no. Please no."

Hughes laughed and nudged Roy's side with his elbow.

"He's actually a pretty good chef."

Ed rolled his eyes and said, "Coming from you, that means what?"

Hughes pouted and said, "Fine. You'll just have to see for yourself…"

Ed yawned and said, "I'd rather just go to bed…"

Roy looked down at the boy sympathetically and said, "You're going to at least eat an apple."

Edward closed his eyes and sighed.

"If you insist"

Ж

Roy walked to the door and closed it behind him. He could hear "noises" coming from the shared bedroom. It would be great if Havoc's camera wasn't in there. Roy smiled evilly.

He then walked passed Riza's room. He heard a slight whimper and pressed his ear against the door to investigate.

It sounded like… crying.

Roy raised an eyebrow and felt a slice of guilt in his heart. Why had things become so twisted?

Roy leaned against the door and cleared his throat. Immediately he heard the crying stop.

"Yes, sir?" She said, trying to sound normal.

"I was just checking on you. You seemed a bit distressed earlier."

Riza sniffed and said in the gruffest of voices, "I'm fine, thanks for caring."

Roy rolled his eyes. It was the standard response.

"Oh." She said.

"I think there isn't sufficient protection for the "fake Ed". I would like to accompany them."

Roy closed his eyes and smiled sadly.

"Permission granted."

Roy leaned against the wall and whispered,

"May I come in?" He asked.

"To be in a girl's room. Now isn't that inappropriate…"

Riza said with a hint of anger.

Roy sighed and said, "I get it. Just..."

He stopped.

"Just… don't cry… Please."

"Why?" Riza asked.

"Because." He paused.

"You shouldn't have to…"

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Remember to REVIEW, REVIEW! Thanks. :)


	40. Chapter 40: Catching Up

Hey there all! Yep! Another chapter! Don't you love me? Hehe

Disclaimer: FMA does not belong to me and blah. Nora and Harold do though so NEH!

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When Roy returned with a sliced apple, Ed inspected it casually. He then looked up at the man and said quite rudely, "Is it poisoned?"

Roy then quickly took a slice and ate it.

Ed glared. Roy sighed irritably and shook his head.

"You're so annoying sometimes."

Ed smirked. "Yes, I know."

Hughes then yawned a bit.

"Okay." He said, unlocking Edward's cuffs.

"I'm going to bed. Take him."

Ed's eyes went large. "_Oh no. No way. Nuh uh. This **isn't** going to happen… no…"_

Roy chuckled and clamped the cuff around his own hand.

Hughes swung the key to and fro and said,

"I'll keep this here…"

He then smiled and said,

"Alright, not to be rude, but I need my beauty sleep."

Edward shivered at the thought of what was yet to come. He visualized being cuffed to a sleeping Roy.

"Dear god…help me."

Ж

Edward frowned as he lay beside the frekoid womanizer. Was he asleep yet?

His eyes were closed, but you could never be too careful. Roy's chest went up and down every so often. And it had Edward transfixed.

It had him wondering what it felt like; to lay on Roy's stomach. To listen to the man's heart beat.

He decided to take a chance. He carefully slid himself closer and placed his head on Roy's chest.

Since he was cuffed to Roy's rather long arm, he had to keep his own arm a little far away, so Ed wouldn't wake him.

He felt the chest go up and down. And he felt the steady heartbeat. It was so comfortable, Ed felt as though he might just fall asleep.

"_Just a little longer_", He thought.

Just then, he felt a slight movement under him and he jerked his head away as quick as he could. A big hand came around the back of his head and pushed it back down to its previous location.

Roy smiled understandingly. "I won't say anything…not now, not tomorrow."

Ed looked up and frowned, "But-" A finger came to his lips to silence him.

"Just go to sleep, you need it." Roy said and placed his hand on Edward's head.

Edward raised an eyebrow. This was odd.

Roy looked over to the boy's cuffed hand and pulled his cuffed hand a little closer. After all, it was a bit straining for Edward to keep his arm that close to Roy's.

Ed inwardly smiled, but _kept_ it in.

"Hey" Ed finally said.

"Hm?" Roy asked, sleepily.

"Can you uncuff me?"

Roy then laughed a bit and said, "As cute as you are…"

He brought a hand up to tuck a stray hair behind the boy's ear.

"As cute as you are, I don't trust you." He smiled jokingly and glanced over to the window.

"I know how smart you are."

Edward growled. "But it's really uncomfortable"

Roy gave him a "cute" smile as an idea came to his head.

"I could always cuff our feet…"

Ed sighed. It would be a bit less straining, but it wasn't what Edward wanted.

Ed gave a sad face and sadly said, "Sure."

Roy raised an eyebrow and twitched. What was this?

"'Hey." He said.

"What?" Ed asked sadly.

Roy brought a hand to Edward's face and cupped it around his cheek.

"Why so glum, chum?"

Ed growled. "You gonna cuff the feet or not?"

Roy rolled his eyes. Typical.

Edward always tried to hide when he was sad or distressed. At least, he tried to hide it from Roy. It never worked of course.

That boy was so easy to read it was like a newspaper boy was standing on the corner saying, "Edward is sad! Read all about it!"

Roy grinned at the thought.

Edward just stared irritably.

Roy laughed. "Yes I know… the cuffs."

When it was done, Roy laughed. It was kinda funny.

Ed sighed.

"You _really_ don't trust me…"

Roy laughed out and said, "Not after all that's happened…"

Ed growled.

"I hate you."

"Yea…" Roy said.

"I know."

Ж

"I'm coming Nii-san." Al said as he ran.

"I'm coming!"

He turned his head and took a look behind him. Those officers had worn out long before.

Al looked up at the sky. It was dark already. He hadn't even noticed.

"It's dangerous at night." He whispered.

"I need to be careful."

When he reached a rather large forest he slowed down. The night alone scared him, but mix it with a bunch of gnarly trees and freaky noises, and he was done for.

Al decided he would go straight through. It wasn't that far away. It wasn't that far…

It took about an hour to get through the forest and he found himself in a strange patch of sand. He then looked to his right and found something very interesting.

"A CAR!" He yelled.

He went to it and took a look inside. Completely abandoned.

But something inside caught his eye. A screw.

He opened the door and picked it up. He would recognize this screw anywhere.

"Nii-san!"

He started running toward the mountains. "I know that's where they are. I know it."

As he ran, he looked to his side. There were a few houses scattered here and there. Simple, quaint.

It reminded him a bit of home.

Suddenly, an old woman flagged him down. He stopped quick and stared. He found it a bit odd that an old woman would be running around this time of night.

"Needs help?" She asked.

"Umm… I'm looking for my bro- I mean sister."

"What she look like?" The woman asked.

"Blonde hair, golden eyes, kind of short."

The woman snapped her fingers and said, "Yesm', I knows' that girl."

She paused.

"With that tall crazy man she's marrieds to."

Alphonse giggled.

She pointed to the mountain and said, "Theys went up there in that fancy car the little man brought."

"Little man?"

The woman laughed, "Yeas, the little black-haired man."

Al would have smiled if he could.

"Fuery." He thought.

"Well, I best be going then." He said.

The woman smiled. "What's yer name, boy?"

"Alphonse."

"I'ms Nora. Nice to meets ya."

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Wheeeeee… Don't forget to REVIEW, REVIEW! THANK YA!


	41. Chapter 41: Night

Here I am again. Didn't ya miss me? hehe

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and blah.

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"Edward…" Roy said in his sleep.

Ed looked up at the mumbling man and raised an eyebrow.

"I wonder what he's dreaming…"

He then got a nasty image in his head and blushed. "NO WAY HE COULD BE DREAMING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

He then grabbed a pillow and smacked Roy with it yelling, "YOU PERVERT!"

Roy was immediately roused from sleep and he looked around. "Pervert? What'd I do this time?"

Edward was all steamed up and angry to the bone.

Roy blinked a couple times and asked innocently, "What'd I do?"

Ed growled, "YOU WERE DREAMING ABOUT ME!"

Roy blushed. "Eh?"

"PROBABLY SOMETHING PERVERTED TOO!"

Roy blinked a couple times and shook his head to make the blush go away.

He got an idea and said, "I was actually dreaming about how cute you would look in pigtails."

Ed wanted to punch the man so bad, but he had just gotten rid of those nasty bruises. So he punched him in the stomach.

As Roy caught his breath, Ed pouted.

A thought then came to him. "Umm..."

"What now?" Roy asked, a bit annoyed. Even though he REALLY deserved the punch… If Ed found out what Roy was REALLY dreaming, Ed would've sent him to the moon.

Ed closed his eyes and said, "How's your...knee?"

Roy blinked a couple times as the question set in.

He threw the blanket off to the side and pulled his pant leg up.

"Eww!" Ed whined. "I didn't want to see your old hairy legs!"

Roy rolled his eyes and growled. "You're so annoying."

Ed smiled. "I know."

Roy ran his finger over the soon-to-be scar and flinched. It still hurt a tiny bit.

Edward's eyes lit up in a strange way. It was so sad, yet so curious. Suddenly, Ed reached his hand and Roy carefully pulled his own hand away. Edward touched the wound and he felt a small amount of liquid build up in his eyes.

He hadn't felt this bad about it before. Why feel this now?

As a tear escaped, Roy cupped his hand on the boy's face and wiped it away. Ed turned his head and growled, "I'm not a girl…"

Roy blinked.

"I know that…"

Ed looked him in the face and said with true certainty, "No… you don't. "

Roy raised an eyebrow and asked, "And why would you think that?"

Ed stared irritably and said, "Because you're so nice to me. You treat me as though I could break. How you should treat a woman…"

He paused.

"And you only started treating me this way since I started wearing women's clothing."

Roy giggled and said, "Well…"

He paused.

"I'm so used to charming women… as you know…"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Who doesn't?"

Roy smiled a bit half-heartedly and continued, "I don't know how to charm men…"

Ed felt as though he might stop breathing and blushed.

Roy took a breath and said, "I suppose it just seemed like… how do I say this?"

He paused.

"You, looking like a woman... and kind of acting like one… made me realize that…"

He stopped and laid back.

"Never mind"

Ed was now annoyed. He brought his face extremely close to Roy's and demanded, "Tell me now."

Roy laughed and pushed the boy off gently.

"You're not my commanding officer; I don't have to do anything you say."

Ed growled.

An idea then came to him.

"You can do whatever you want if you tell me…"

Roy closed his eyes and laughed.

"That's the second time you've tempted me. Do you say this to all your Colonels?"

Ed was surprised beyond belief. It was something typical for Roy Mustang to say, but it still cut him deep.

"You're a jerk." Ed whimpered out.

Roy felt so bad at that moment. He attempted to reach for Ed, but the boy swatted his hand away.

"Just go back to sleep, Colonel Sir…"

Edward laid on his side, away from Roy.

Roy mentally kicked himself and smacked his forehead.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Just go to sleep." Ed whispered.

"_Okay._" Roy thought. "_This is dumb…_"

Roy then snuggled himself against Edward's back and pulled the boy to him.

Ed froze and blushed.

Roy couldn't help but giggle.

"I'm sorry." Roy said again.

"I am truly, truly sorry."

Ed took in a deep breath and sighed.

"Good, because I was about to punch you. What an awful thing to say."

"Yes I know." Roy said.

"I mean…" Ed said.

"Even if I _did _say it to a bunch of people before… doesn't mean they were all Colonels…"

Roy's eyes went large and he stopped breathing.

"Eh… wha?" He managed to say.

Ed then let out a giant fit of laughter and said, "Got ya!"

"You little crap head!" Roy yelled and began tickling the boy.

Ed couldn't stop himself from laughing. He remembered when Al used to tickle him to the edge of tears from laughing so hard.

What fond memories he possessed.

"_Al…_"

Ж

"Thank you." Al called out to Nora and started off again.

"Youse be careful outs there!" She called.

"Yes, I will!"

As Al continued on his way, he felt as though he were being watched. There was another large forest off to the side and she shivered at the thought of what may be inside it.

"I'm _coming big brother! And I'm not going to stop until I get there! Brothers aren't made to be apart!_"

As he came upon the rather large mountain, little did he know, two black figures lurked in that very forest he had just wondered about.

One of the figures then whispered in a warped voice, "Follow that one." The one who had been commanded then disappeared into the night.

"Strange." The other one whispered. "Brothers they are… yet…"

It paused.

"Interesting…"

"I must tell them of this…"

It then also disappeared into the night.

"_I'm coming Edward! I'm coming!_"

And as the sun rose in the east, a war was brewing…

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Ooo.. scary. Don't forget to REVIEW! Thank ya. :)


	42. Chapter 42: Roy and Riza

Here I am! Hehe

Disclaimer: I do own FMA and blah so yeah.

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"Havoc…" A small voice coaxed.

"What?" Havoc groaned sleepily and rolled over.

A small hand tapped his bare shoulder and he whined, "Go back to sleep."

"Havoc! We have to leave today!"

It was then that Havoc darted upward and yawned. He outstretched his bare chest and Fuery couldn't help but stare.

"Fine, I'm up." He moaned.

Fuery reached over to grab his glasses so he could take a better look.

Havoc looked like crap.

"Jean?" He whispered, concerned.

Havoc looked over at him with droopy eyes and grinned.

"I'm not a morning person…"

Fuery fought off a smile.

"I could tell."

Havoc reached his hand out to pull the boy to him and kissed his head.

"You're a brat."

Fuery looked up at the man with shining eyes and said,

"And you stink…"

It was then that Havoc raised his arms and took a whiff.

"Whew!" Havoc whined and held his nose.

"I need a shower…"

Fuery then got a devious look on his face.

Havoc blinked a couple times and innocently asked, "What?"

Fuery pushed the man back so he was lying down and pulled himself on top of him. He smiled deviously and giggled.

He then outstretched his neck and gave Havoc a passionate kiss. Havoc blinked.

"I think I like this…"

Fuery smiled. "You better."

Havoc then grinned devilishly and said, "Wanna join me?"

Fuery giggled. "Love to."

Ж

"Edward…" A seemingly angelic voice called out to him.

"Edward…" Ed slowly opened his eyes and blinked. There, before him, was a black-haired angel.

"Hey cutie, time to wake up" Ed slowly brought himself up and took a look around. He was in the same place, the same bed, but before him, was a new Roy.

"Roy?" He asked, perplexed.

Roy winked at him and smiled. "Time to get up"

Ed blinked a couple times and tilted his head in confusion, "What's gotten you in such a good mood?"

Roy let out a large sigh and said, "Oh… nothing."

Ed scratched his head and raised an eyebrow.

"Riiight…"

_Something _was up. He wasn't quite sure what, but it was _definitely _something.

Ideas then ran through the boy's head.

"Did you take advantage of me last night or something?"

Roy then let out a rather large laugh and said, "If I did, you'd be feeling it by now…"

Ed put his head in his hands and sighed. "You're such a dweeb…"

Roy laughed. "So I've been told."

Roy then leaned down toward Edward and said, "I could though…"

Ed blushed and squirmed away.

Roy laughed. "So cute sometimes…"

Ed turned around a pouted.

"You're such a nerd."

Roy laughed as he entered the bathroom.

"Yes, yes, I know."

He then threw a towel at the boy and said, "You might want to take a shower before we leave."

Ed growled. "Are you trying to say I stink?"

Roy laughed. "No, it's just… I don't think you'll get another chance…"

Ed blinked a couple times. "Whatever."

After a few moments of silence, Ed blurted out a question he probably shouldn't have.

"Hey Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"Why does Riza "hate" you so much?"

Roy walked out of the bathroom with shaving cream on his face and said, "I don't think we should talk about that…"

Ed smirked. "You piss her off?"

Roy walked back in and said sadly, "Something like that."

Ed began playing with his hair and responded, "Well, tell me."

Roy sighed. "I probably shouldn't."

Ed growled, "Why not?"

Roy slammed his hands down on the sink counter and yelled, "Because I don't want to!"

Ed's eyes went wide and his whole body shook. Roy had never yelled at him like that before.

He decided he would be quiet for a while.

A few minutes later a clean-shaven Roy appeared with a fowl look on his face.

Ed was curled up into a little ball with a pillow up to his chest.

He didn't look very good.

Roy climbed up on the bed and crawled toward the little one.

He reached his hand out and Ed flinched. Roy's heart broke.

He felt awful. This had never happened before. He didn't want Ed to be afraid of him.

Roy then grabbed the boy and pulled him into his chest.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Please don't be afraid of me."

Ed sighed and wrapped his arms around Roy.

He closed his eyes and smiled.

"I'm glad."

Roy looked down at the smiling boy in his arms and grinned from ear to ear.

He then looked at the clock and said, "We need to leave soon…"

Ed shook his head and said, "Just stay like this for a little while."

Roy sighed, almost unable to say no to him and said.

"You need a shower. But if you want me around so much, I could go in with you."

That was the end of that cute little moment.

Ж

"Good morning everyone!" A familiar voice sang.

"Perfect…" Riza groaned.

There was then a knock at her door.

She set down her hair brush and slowly opened it.

"Good morning Riza!" He yelled.

Riza stared and said in an annoyed voice, "Good morning to you too, Hughes."

"Hey!" He suddenly said.

"I need to talk to you!"

Riza rolled her eyes. "What about?"

"About something uhh..." He paused.

"Well, just something." He then said.

Riza then leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms. "Something, aye?"

Hughes smiled bright and said, "Yea, something!"

Riza glared, "You wanna know about Roy and I…"

Hughes stared at her as if in awe.

"Well, umm..." He then got nervous. "Yea... I do…"

Riza smirked. "Didn't he tell you himself?"

Hughes laughed nervously and said, "Kind of. But he won't really tell anyone what really happened…"

"Really?" She asked, unconvinced.

Hughes laughed nervously and said, "Well, he did kinda mention he slept with your sister…"

Riza sighed and said, "Half-sister."

Hughes then got a bit more nervous and chuckled very loudly.

Riza rolled her eyes and said, "Come on in."

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Ooo…. Another chapter. Don't you love me? Hehe please don't forget to REVIEW REVIEW!


	43. Chapter 43: Reunion

ANOTHER! ANOTHER! Hehe. LOVE ME!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and blah so yeah. Woot.

HELLO ALL NEW AND OLD READERS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR NICE COMMENTS!

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As Roy stepped into the rather large living room, he heard a familiar metallic sound coming from outside. His eyes went large and he threw himself against the door.

"Don't tell me..."

He pressed his ear against the wood in an effort to hear better.

"Nii-san!" A voice yelled.

Suddenly, a half-naked Edward came flying down the hall. The only thing covering him was a small blue towel.

"Alphonse!" He yelled back.

Suddenly, the door flew open, sending Roy flying. "Nii-san!" Alphonse yelled again as he stood in the doorway.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Edward yelled.

Alphonse was taken aback. He thought his brother would be happy to see him. But no, he had to be mad.

"I'm came to help you." He stuttered out.

Ed growled, "You'd help me better by going back home! It's dangerous here!"

"I know!" Alphonse yelled. "That's why I came to help you!"

Poor Roy was in the corner, completely and utterly confused. When everything finally set in he stood up and announced,

"Alphonse, as nice as it is to see you, I'm afraid your brother is right."

Edward felt Alphonse get discouraged. He hated it, but his brother needed to be safe.

Roy sighed and rubbed his eyebrows.

"How did you get here anyway?" He finally asked.

"I ran." Al declared.

Roy then grabbed a seat from the table and sat down.

"From the train?" Roy then asked.

"Uhuh." 

Suddenly, Riza and Hughes emerged from her "lair".

"What's going on?" Riza demanded.

Roy smiled and pointed to Al, "We have a guest!"

Riza rolled her eyes, "He'll have to come with us."

Roy nodded and said, "I know."

"Wait a minute!" Al yelled.

"I want to stay with my brother!"

Edward held onto his towel and growled, "You can't stay with me! It's dangerous!"

Havoc then appeared down the hall and said dryly, "It's just as dangerous as coming with us."

"Wait a minute..." Al said. "You guys are splitting up?"

"Yes, we are." Roy stated. "Fuery is going to dress up as Edward, and Edward is going to dress up as Fuery. It's our secret plan to sneak Edward away!"

Edward growled, "I STILL DON'T LIKE THAT VERY MUCH!"

Roy rolled his eyes, "Yes, I'm aware."

Havoc strolled down the hall with his hands in his pockets and said, "Sorry Al, you have to come with us. You'd draw too much attention to Edward."

Al sighed. Edward could feel he was extremely sad.

"I'm sorry big brother." He sadly whispered out.

Ed patted Al on the shoulder and said, "It's okay. I'm glad you were worried about me. And it _is _nice to see you."

He could feel Al's spirits lighten and felt happier for it.

Roy looked up at the clock and said, "We need to leave soon."

He then looked to Edward and said, "Time to get in uniform!"

Ed rolled his eyes, "I'll do it myself! You stay away from me!"

Havoc couldn't help but giggle a little bit.

"Aww." Hughes chimed in.

"Take a look at these pictures of my beautiful daughter! She'll make all your troubles go right away!"

Suddenly, he was all the way across the room and Ed was down the hall.

Al couldn't help but laugh.

"Poor Nii-san."

Ж

"You met Nora, aye?" Ed finally said.

It was too quiet in the room and he didn't like the quiet.

Al giggled, "Yeah. She's pretty weird."

Ed laughed. "Yeah, she is."

He then cracked up and said, "You know she beat the crap outta Fuery?"

Al laughed, "No I didn't, why would she do that?"

Ed smiled, stood up and straightened out the uniform.

"Because she thought he was peepin on me."

Al then burst into a round of laughter that could be heard around the whole cabin.

"Poor Fuery."

Ed chuckled, "Yea. It was pretty funny."

It was then silent again.

"So." Al finally said.

"Is Roy leaving you alone?"

Edward then turned around quickly, blushing.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really?" Al asked, unconvinced.

Al leaned against the wall and giggled, "He kissed you?"

Ed stiffened, "Of course not! He wouldn't dare!"

He then turned around and tried to put on the scariest mask he could. "He knows I'd beat his ass!"

Al laughed, "So you kissed him back."

The mask broke and Ed turned around.

"I did no such thing."

Al laughed.

"Sure."

Edward then turned around and said, "SHUT UP!"

Al giggled, "It's okay. It's not like I have any against it. Except… I don't like Roy all that much."

Ed growled and yelled, "I DON'T LIKE HIM EITHER!"

Al giggled and headed toward the door, "Sure you don't."

"I DON'T! I DON'T LIKE HIM! HES A BIG FAT UGLY USELESS JERK THAT NEEDS TO ROT IN HELL!"

Al just giggled and left.

He then whispered to himself. "You're like an open book, brother. I can always read you."

Ж

When Edward finally showed himself, Roy's eyes sparkled. Ed tried to convince himself it was just the sun. Roy quickly ruined that.

He laughed and whispered to him, "You know what they say about men in uniform…"

Ed growled.

"No, what do they say?" Al asked innocently.

Roy laughed and announced, "That they're DEAD SEXY!"

Ed growled and yelled, "SHUT THE HELL UP!" then stormed off.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Is he really_ still _mad at me? I was _just _trying to get him to go take a shower…"

Al giggled.

Roy's eyes went straight to him and he smirked. "So you know something… why is he so sore today?"

Al chuckled and said, "I have no idea…"

Roy just laughed and went to follow the angry adolescent.

Havoc patted Al on the back and said, "Ed wouldn't admit it, would he?"

Al giggled aloud and whispered, "Nope. But he makes it so obvious, you know?"

Havoc threw back his head and laughed.

"Yea, same with mine."

"Hmm?" Alphonse asked, confused.

Havoc pointed to Fuery who was sitting by a tree, investigating an anthill.

Al just giggled and said, "Any luck?"

Havoc stretched his arms up high and said, "He's going with us, isn't he?"

He then grinned, put his hands in his pockets and walked towards the curious Fuery.

Alphonse took in a big sigh and giggled, "I guess this is what happens!"

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Yes, this is a filler. So sue me. Lol. YAY! AL IS BACK! Hehe. Sorry for all you Al-haters. I love Al so nyeh. Lol REVIEW! bye


	44. Chapter 44: Ed Freak

Halo! Back again! Woot!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and yea. So yeah. WOOT.

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By the time it was time to leave, Ed had already gained a grass stain on Fuery's uniform.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Ed growled at Roy.

"YOURE THE ONE THAT POUNCED ME!"

Roy just smiled innocently and announced, "I couldn't help it. You just look so good in uniform!'

Riza then cleared her throat and swung some handcuffs on her finger.

Roy laughed nervously and grabbed them.

"Nuh uh! You stay away from me you pervert!" Ed growled.

Roy then chased the young boy all around the front yard.

Riza sighed. "I'm afraid to leave them alone."

"No worries!" Hughes chimed in. "I'll be there!"

Riza smacked her forehead and groaned. "I'm _definitely_ afraid to leave them alone."

Hughes just pouted and went off to bother Havoc.

Al was sitting against the cabin watching them all. He was laughing so hard, if he had a lung to cough up, he just might.

After catching the boy Roy cleared his throat and announced, it's time to move out!"

"Okay."

Fuery said. We get the A-2, right?" Roy nodded his head and smiled.

"Be nice to her and get her back in ONE PIECE!"

He paused.

"You do that, and I'll keep you from getting court-martialed."

Fuery smiled nervously and said, "Thank you sir."

"Alright, let's get out of here."

Ж

Departure was bitter-sweet. Al didn't want to leave his brother, and he definitely didn't want to be taken apart just to fit in that stupid little car.

He felt a little apprehensive about leaving Edward with Roy, but he trusted he would keep him safe. And with Hughes there, nothing would happen. He was sure.

"You alright back there?" Fuery asked from the front.

"Yeah." Al said back.

Havoc laughed a bit and said, "Fuery, how'd you feel if you taken apart into pieces and put in a compact car?"

Fuery laughed nervously and said, "I'd feel… uncomfortable?"

Havoc just patted the boy on the back and laughed, "Ain't the half of it."

Fuery then took his eyes off the road to look at Havoc. He was in a trance, once again.

Riza sighed loudly and said, "Havocs' not the road, Cain."

Cain looked away quickly and blushed.

"Sorry."

Havoc looked back at Riza and grinned angrily.

Riza just smirked and continued to stare out the window.

"Wait till we get back, Ice Princess. Wait till we get back…"

Ж

Ed growled. "Where are we going exactly?"

Roy chuckled and said, "Fuery, we're going somewhere."

Ed growled. This was totally unfair.

"If we're quote-un-quote "sneaking out" then why the hell do you have to call me that?"

Roy laughed. "Because."

Ed growled, "And why do I have to wear this stupid uniform?"

Roy chuckled. "In case they see us."

Something then came to mind.

"Umm... Roy?"

"Yes?"

"What about civilians… they'll see the uniform…"

Roy then smacked his head and growled.

"Change your clothes then…"

Hughes laughed, "This is what happens when you don't think ahead."

Roy laughed angrily and pulled the pack off his back.

He threw a pair of blue pants and a white long sleeved shirt at Edward and said, "Either you try to change with the cuffs on, and I'll stand off to the side without looking, or you change right here…"

Ed growled and yelled, "YOURE A PERVERT! AND WHAT THE HELL? YOU STILL DON'T TRUST ME?"

Hughes chuckled nervously and said, "I think I'm going to go behind _this _tree and stay there for a while."

Roy rubbed his eyebrows and sighed, "Of course I don't trust you. Especially not after all that crap about "I'm leaving" and "Tell me what I can do before I go" and…"

He smiled devilishly and said, "And how you were going to kiss me…"

Ed growled. "You can forget it now."

Roy pulled Edward by the cuff and grabbed his shoulder.

He brought his face close to his and said, "Really?"

"Let me go!" Ed yelled and blushed.

He turned his head and scowled.

Roy just giggled and nipped the boy's ear.

Ed felt every single one of his hairs stand on end. A chill went up his back and goose bumps graced his every limb.

Roy laughed. "So easy."

Ed blushed and growled, "You're such a pervert!"

Roy laughed and rubbed his chin, "So I've been told."

Hughes shook his head and sighed, "Roy, you jackass. You're an idiot too."

Fortunately, Roy hadn't heard him. He was too busy planning out the conditions of Edward's temporary freedom.

"We have to be in constant communication so I know you haven't tried to run off. If you can do that, I won't have to look."

Ed growled. "AS IF I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"

Roy laughed and smiled, "Well, then I get to watch."

Ж

After being punched a couple times, Roy sat down next to Hughes and proceeded to have a rather straining conversation with the boy.

"So Edward, how do you feel about not having to look like a girl anymore?"

Ed growled, "I feel pretty good about it actually. And now, I don't have to pretend to be your wife _either_!

Roy laughed. "I'm hurt. Was it really THAT bad?"

Hughes chuckled and said, "Imagine being in Ed's shoes."

Roy laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess that would be pretty annoying…"

Ed growled, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA!"

Roy poked Hughes and laughed, "I still packed the thing just in case."

Hughes smirked and said, "You really like it when he looks like a girl, don't ya?"

Roy rubbed his chin and said, "Maybe just a little…"

"What are you guys talking about?" Ed yelled out, annoyed.

Roy laughed, "Nothing, Dear."

Hughes sighed. "That was stupid…"

Edward, with only his pants on, rushed around the tree to yell at the Colonel.

Hughes just put his fingers in his ears and hummed, "It's a small world after all…"

After Edward stormed off to put his shirt on, Roy smiled.

"He's so cute."

Hughes laughed. "You're weird."

Roy laughed very loudly and said, "_I'm _weird?"

Hughes smiled innocently and said, "Yeah well…"

Roy tapped his feet together and laughed, "Picture freak…"

"Ed freak…"

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Heheheheehehehe.. Yea, I know my chapters aren't all that great lately. I'm kind of in a funk, but it'll go away soon. I hope. Anyway... REVIEW, REVIEW! See ya!


	45. Chapter 45: Second Encounter

Wheee.. Here I am again. Wow... so many updates. Oh... I have a special request for all you fans! Please tell me if you like my fic? Pretty pleeeeaaase? I'll love you forever, and ever, and ever, and ever. Just please, review? And if you don't like my fic, can you tell me why? Or if there's something specifically that you don't like, let me know. Pretty please?

Thank you:)

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and blah so yeah. Whee.

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Havoc looked over at Fuery. He was slowly falling asleep at the wheel.

Havoc reached over and poked the little man.

"Hey, let me take it for a while."

"Okay mommy." Fuery said back, half asleep. Havoc raised an eyebrow and laughed.

Fuery stopped the car and right at that moment, fell sleep.

Havoc looked back at Riza and Alphonse.

Riza was smirking and he heard a slight echoing giggle come from the massive armor beside her.

Havoc chuckled and proceeded to get out of the car.

"A little break couldn't hurt." He said and pulled out a cigarette.

"Don't smoke mommy!" Fuery yelled in his sleep.

Havoc looked down at the pack of cigarettes, glared and threw them down the hill.

Riza smirked.

Havoc then leaned into the car and said, "I'll be right back, nature calls."

As he looked for an appropriate spot to pee, he got a good look at his surroundings.

There was a small forest to the side. The rest of it was a big open expanse of grass.

Off to the side of that, there was a small lake with a river going as far as the eye could see.

The "road" that they had been driving on, was on a man-made hill "graced" with a surplus of rocks and thorny bushes.

On the other side of him, there were many rolling hills and some mountains behind that.

He knew that just behind the hills, before the mountains, was a Military train track that came straight from East city. That was where Alphonse had come from.

He skidded down the hill into a waterless ditch. When he climbed out, he watched a lizard rush underneath his boot.

He carefully lifted it and the little thing scurried over to a nearby rock.

Havoc smiled and continued on. He stared at the forest. Even though it was mid-day, the forest looked so dark, so spooky.

When Havoc was young, he never enjoyed forests. He and his mother lived right next to one for most of his younger years. From it, came coyotes and bats that ate their fruits and chickens.

They were forced to invest in corn. Since he was the only boy, and his father was long gone, it was left up to him to seed. He worked long and hard.

But, eventually, from the forest, came rats and possums that ate up the corn as well.

"Damn that god-forsaken tree-infested piece of land!" His mother would say.

Whenever she yelled, his younger sisters would cry, so he quickly shook himself from the memory.

When he had finally found a suitable tree to pee behind, he drifted off into thought once again.

It had been quite a while since they had left the mountain.

They had already passed by Nora's. He had wanted to swing by and bum some more free food, but Riza had "nicely" told him no.

Earlier, when Fuery had had to "take a leak", Havoc got to kiss him. He grinned at the thought. He felt himself very lucky to have such a nice person care about him.

When he was finished, he began to walk back. He suddenly got a chill down his spin and could have sworn someone was watching him. He slowly and skillfully moved his hand to his side where he earlier, had placed his gun.

He heard a twig snap behind him and he nearly stopped walking but a little voice in his head that kept saying, "The car is just ahead. Then you can drive away." kept him going. He kept thinking of Fuery. How he might be leading whatever was behind him, straight to the car.

"Dammit!" He thought. "What should I do?"

It was then that the voice said, "Run."

So he did. He ran as fast he possibly could. When he reached the ditch, he was practically on all fours, climbing up the sandy wall.

He could hear steps. Steps behind him. Coming closer.

His heart raced. All he could think about is what they would do to Fuery if they found him.

"Don't think about that!" He thought.

"Just run!"

When he finally reached the road, he could see Fuery was still in the driver's seat.

"Shit!"

As he came running up he yelled, "Riza, get Fuery out of the front!"

She noticed he was running fast and hard and something was behind him.

"What's going on?" Alphonse asked, a little shaky.

"I'm not sure." She said and quickly jumped from the car.

When she pulled Fuery from the seat, Havoc was there. She pulled Fuery into the back with her as Havoc flew into the driver's seat. He almost had the door closed when something grabbed it.

"Let go you piece of shit!" Havoc yelled.

It was then that he looked up.

Dark, empty eyes stared at him and a chill went down his spine. He felt as though, whatever it was, was reading every thought in his mind, from the time he left the car to now. It all played back in fast forward like a recorded tape.

Suddenly he heard gunshots and Riza yelled, "DRIVE!"

They were gone, down the road, fast.

Havoc felt as though his heart might pop out of his chest.

Riza leaned forward and tapped Havoc.

"What the hell happened back there?" She questioned.

"I don't know." Havoc admitted. "Something about those eyes"

Riza leaned back and reloaded her gun.

"Try not to let it happen again." She said.

"Yeah." Havoc responded, almost completely zoned out.

"I'll try." 

Ж

Roy stopped in his tracks as a chill went down his spine. Hughes stopped too and asked, "What's up?"

Edward stopped as well and looked back. "Roy?"

Roy shook his head and laughed, "It's nothing."

Hughes raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

Roy patted his back and said, "Everything's fine."

"You sure?" Hughes asked.

Roy smiled and said, "Yeah. Just felt a little weird."

He then continued on and Hughes paused for a second.

"You know something, Roy." He whispered to himself.

"You coming?" Roy yelled, annoyed.

"Yeah." Hughes said.

"I'm coming."

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Okay, if you didn't read my "notes" on the top, I ask, pretty please, would you PLEEEEAAASEEE review? Please? I mean, even if you don't think you have anything interesting to say, just to know that you read my fic is enough for me. And if you don't like something or if you especially like something, please lemme know? Thank you! REVIEW, REVIEW:)


	46. Chapter 46: Kiss Me Again

I regret to inform you that all writings from me are postponed until further notice. I just wanted to let you all know. Some things have popped up that absolutely have to be dealt with and I hope you understand. I don't know how long I will be gone for, but when I come back, I will also be working on a Full Metal Alchemist side-story that goes with "Pretty Little Bride". I'm sure you will enjoy it. See you all for now.

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Ed sat down against a tree and felt his stomach.

"Feed me!" It seemed to yell.

It then made its condition known to the other two by letting out an assortment of grunts, growls and snorts.

Roy fought off his need to laugh and handed a bag of chips at the boy.

"Where'd you get these?" Ed asked.

Roy winked, "I get hungry at night sometimes."

Hughes snorted and laughed out,

"Yeah, and usually if you get up to go get something to eat, you end up falling on one of two things, your face or your ass."

Roy threw a rock at the man and growled.

Hughes dodged it and stuck out his tongue.

Ed laughed, "So basically it's one thing, right?"

Hughes covered his mouth and fought off the intense need to bust out laughing.

Roy looked almost hurt and entertained at the same time.

He nudged the boy next to him and said, "That was a good one, Edward."

Ed closed his eyes and smirked. "Thanks, assface."

Roy then decided that was the best time to tell Edward exactly what his plan was.

Ж

"I HAVE TO WEAR IT AGAIN?" Edward yelled at the top of his lungs.

Roy slowly removed his fingers from his ears and rubbed his temples. "Yes, Ed, you have to wear it again."

"Nuh uh!" Edward yelled out and whined.

Roy had had just about enough of this.

He pulled Edward into his lap, facing him, grabbed his shoulders and yelled, "What the hell has you so bent out of shape?"

Hughes decided to slowly crawl behind a nearby tree and disappear.

Edward held up his cuffed hand and pointed to it.

"THIS!" He yelled.

Roy sighed. "Well, there's nothing I can do about that…"

Ed growled. "You know I could always break it with my auto mail… or even make a key.

Roy smirked, "I know you could, but you won't because you'd feel bad about it."

Ed scowled and yelled, "Why the hell are you such a jerk?"

Roy laughed. "I'm a jerk because I know how to handle you?"

Ed growled and looked away.

"That's what you think…"

Roy laughed and held Edward's flesh hand.

"That's what I know…"

Ed growled and pulled his hand away.

"DAMN YOU!" He yelled at the top of his lungs and got up, dragging Roy's arm with him.

Edward then sat next to the older man and sulked.

Hughes skillfully poked his head from behind the tree. Seeing it was safe, he decided to join the two once again.

Roy laughed and pointed at Hughes, "Smart Man."

Hughes laughed and pointed at Roy, "Stupid Man."

This time, Ed laughed.

Roy sighed and comically said to Edward, "You've turned him against me!"

Hughes laughed and replied, "Nope, sorry Roy. Just saw the light."

Roy laughed and threw a rock at his friend.

Hughes dodged it once again and smirked.

Roy smiled and suddenly yawned.

"Man, why am I tired?"

Hughes pointed to Edward and stated, "Cuz you're cuffed to him…"

Roy laughed. "Yeah, must be."

Roy stretched his arms in front of him and announced, "Nap time for me."

Ж

Havoc looked through the rear-view mirror to take a look at the sleeping Fuery. He was so cute.

"Hey Riza." He suddenly said.

"Hmm?"

"When he wakes up… Don't tell him."

Riza then nodded her head and sadly smiled.

"_He doesn't need to know." _She thought.

Havoc cleared his throat, "That goes for you too, Alphonse."

Alphonse laughed nervously and said, "O-okay."

After a few moments of silence Alphonse curiously asked, "How long until we reach Headquarters?"

Riza stared out the window at the fast moving scenery and said, "A day. At most."

"Good."

Ж

When Roy awoke, he found a very interesting surprise.

A small, sleeping body was draped over his lap.

Roy grinned and looked for Hughes so he could show off… But Hughes… was gone.

"Hughes?" Roy whispered.

He suddenly felt a chill go up his spine and he growled at himself. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep!"

Roy then carefully and skillfully reached for his gun.

"Hughes?" He asked again.

"WHAT?" A familiar voice yelled from behind a tree.

"Hughes?" Roy asked, skeptical.

Hughes let out an annoyed laugh and said, "I was peeing, mommy."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Don't do that…"

"Yeah, yeah"

Hughes laughed and pointed to Edward.

"How cute…"

Roy grinned. "Yeah. We should get moving, but I don't want to wake him."

Hughes giggled and said, "Do it… romantically!"

Roy rolled his eyes and said, "I'll do it… MY way"

Hughes laughed and sighed, "Alright then. But I'm staying out of sight. I don't want to bear witness to your love fest."

After Hughes found a comfortable tree to sit behind, Roy began to work his magic.

He carefully pulled the boy into his lap and held him.

Roy then put his hand on Ed's face and rubbed it with his thumb.

"Wake up." He whispered.

Ed groaned and twitched a bit.

Ed felt very warm. He could hear a constant heartbeat and pressed his ear against the chest it was coming from.

Roy smiled and tipped the boy's head upward.

"Roy?" Ed whispered.

"Yes." Roy said.

He then brought his face down and pressed his lips against Ed's.

Roy was surprised when, for the first time, Ed returned the kiss.

Roy blinked then pushed down harder. He was going to make this one count!

Edward's eyes then fluttered open and he realized what he was doing.

His face turned a deep red color and he grabbed the Colonel's shoulders to push him away.

He didn't succeed.

When Roy finally pulled away of his _own _will, it was slow and lingering.

Ed was stunned. Here was this beautiful, _semi_-wonderful man, holding him in his arms.

"_I don't get it_" He thought.

Roy grinned.

"You can have five more minutes, but we have to get moving soon." He whispered.

"Yeah." Ed responded, in a daze.

Roy's voice seemed so... dreamy.

Ed could feel the ghostly lips which seemed to still be upon his own.

He blushed as he stared at the man.

He then sighed and closed his eyes.

"Roy?" He finally whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me again."

Ж

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I regret to inform you that all writings from me are postponed until further notice. I just wanted to let you all know. Some things have popped up that absolutely have to be dealt with and I hope you understand. I don't know how long I will be gone for, but when I come back, I will also be working on a Full Metal Alchemist side-story that goes with "Pretty Little Bride". I'm sure you will enjoy it. See you all for now.


	47. Chapter 47: The Gritty City

Sorry it took so long. Yes, shit happens. lol. But yeah.. I'm back!

**Disclaimer:** Full Metal Alchemist does not belong to me. If it did, Roy and Edward would be married. Yup. And we'd have some mpreg in there with a baby Roy. Haha.

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Roy smiled, not taking a second to think about anything. He pressed his lips down on Edward's and closed his eyes.

Edward pressed into Roy's and Roy took it as an invitation for some tonsil hockey.

Stupid Roy.

Edward bit the intruding tongue and punched the man in the face.

Ed was severely disgusted.

"You nasty perverted jackass!" He yelled out.

Roy smirked and cringed at the slight taste of blood in his mouth.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to try that again." He announced.

"Better not, you asshole." Ed snarled, teeth clenched, fist at the ready.

Hughes then poked his head out in the manner of a squirrel and whimpered out, "You okay, Roy?"

Roy stood up with the boy beside him and smiled. "Yeah, just peachy."

Ж

After Edward had put the fake bra back on, they started off again.

"Don't you think they're going to find it a bit suspicious that you're cuffed together?" Hughes pointed out.

Roy nodded his head and rubbed his chin. "I did think about that. I'm not sure what we could do about it."

Ed clenched his teeth and growled out, "You could choose to trust me."

Roy laughed. "As if, pipsqueak."

Ed felt rage build up in his chest to the point where he just wanted to kill Roy.

Here was this man, the source of all his anger, and yet, he could do nothing to him.

He decided he would punch a nearby tree.

Roy sighed.

"Stupid boy." He mustered and placed his larger hand over Edward's now throbbing smaller hand.

Ed blushed and pulled his hand away.

"I'm fine." He paused.

"You just piss me off."

Roy grinned. "Yeah, I seem to have that affect on you."

Ж

When they finally reached the outskirts of the city, the group was more than surprised to find it was the epitome of filth.

Ed nearly choked at the sight of the gray haze ominously drifting over the metropolis.

Hughes smacked his forehead in disbelief and let out an exasperated sigh.

Who could've known that on the other side of this beautiful mountain there could be such an armpit of rubbish?

Roy sat down on a log at the edge of the forest and fiddled with his thumbs. Ed, who had been forced to sit next to him, pointed to the metal clasps on his wrists.

"Fine." Roy muttered under his breath.

Hughes pulled the key from his pocket and in no time at all, Edward was free.

Roy put the handcuffs in his back pants pocket and carefully warned Edward, "Anything suspicious, and they go right back on."

"Yeah, yeah." Edward called out as he rubbed his wrists.

Ж

The people of the city were anything but civilized. Dirty faces, worn hands, and nasty attitudes.

The scum of the earth seemed to call this place home.

The streets were littered with old beer bottles and cigarette buds. Not to mention the occasional used condom.

Roy tried his best to look as scary as he could to scare off any aspiring con-artist or alley rat. He then looked down at his blonde companion and gulped.

To these people Ed would probably look like a goddess.

He looked around at all the scoundrels who seemed to be licking their chops as they walked by.

At about the sixth bar on the street, somebody in rags ran inside screaming something incoherent. Then came tumbling out the most unsavory of characters and their eyes gleamed.

Roy then decided it would probably be best to make sure they knew who "she" _belonged _to.

He knelt down and whispered in the boy's ear. Ed scowled but nodded his head in understanding.

Roy picked up the boy and carried him on his back.

Hughes walked directly behind the two and held his knives at the ready.

Every hair on his neck seemed to stand on end as he felt someone come behind him.

A hand went on his shoulder.

His reflexes kicked in.

In two seconds flat, Hughes had the man on the ground with his arm behind his back.

The man cried out in pain and Hughes' grinned as he let him go.

All the people in the city seemed to be stirred now.

They lined the streets and talked in hushed voices.

Some wore faces of anger and some of fear.

But mostly they all had the look of the devil in their eyes.

Roy gulped. What had his friend just started?

Ed gritted his teeth and beads of sweat formed on his head.

Roy patted the boy's leg in reassurance and the three set off again in search of a suitable hotel.

Ж

Wouldn't you know it; the only hotel in the entire city was one of the grittiest buildings in the entire place.

They carefully walked up to the front door and held their breath.

As Hughes opened the door, Roy let Edward down onto his own feet.

Edward casually began to walk inside but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Wait." Roy cautioned and grabbed for the boy's hand.

They walked up to the front desk and Hughes looked for a bell to ring.

None.

They could hear loud thumps from upstairs. Sounded like a fight.

Suddenly, from a door in the back, a woman with long brown hair appeared.

She was a young woman. Aging from about 20 to 25. She was slender but by no means harmless.

She wore a black bandanna around her head and a snake tattoo threateningly peered from her neck. The gloves she wore on her hands were worn and studded with silver.

Her rather large breasts were covered with a single piece of black cloth. Similar to what Winry wore Edward noted.

Her pants looked to be made of a leather type material but it was a bit transparent so it definitely wasn't leather.

Roy couldn't help but blush. He was both intrigues and disgusted.

This woman was gorgeous and her beautiful brown eyes sparkled in the light coming from the windows.

Yet, her entire appearance was masculine, hard-hitting and hostile.

Roy gulped. This was a woman very much like Riza. She could beat him up, no problem.

Sweat beaded his head as he approached the counter.

"Umm" he spat out nervously.

"We'd like a room."

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See? Promised you. Hehe. Yes, I'm back. Woot! Didya miss me? Of course you did. Well, don't forget to review and tell me how much you don't want me to go again. Hehe. REVIEW! REVIEW! Thank ya. ttfn.


	48. Chapter 48: The Secret Room

Yay. Another chapter. I think I did a good job on this one. Tell me if you think the same. (Review)

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist does not belong to me. BUT NORA DOES!

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"A room, aye?" She asked and placed a cigarette in her mouth.

Roy nodded his head.

She then pulled out a rather large book from a drawer under the desk and started flipping through the pages.

She ran her finger down the lines of names and when she reached a blank spot she tapped it.

"Room 75." She stated and pulled out a lighter.

After she took a puff, she pulled a key out from between her breasts.

Roy blushed.

Hughes had long since decided to be interested with the wood the place was made out of.

The woman carelessly tapped the ashes off the smoking stick onto the floor and unlocked another drawer beneath the desk.

It was a drawer full of little boxes.

She pulled out the one marked "75" and strolled over to the other side of the desk.

After she took one last puff of her cigarette, she flicked it into a bucket near the door she came from.

She then made her way to the stairs and skillfully felt underneath the wooden steps.

Roy raised an eyebrow. What was this woman doing?

She suddenly pulled off a piece of tape and a key fell to the ground.

She placed the key into the keyhole on the box and after she opened it, placed it back underneath the stairs.

"Okay." She said and handed the key to Roy.

"What name should I book this room under?" She asked with a slight hint of annoyance in her voice.

"The Connors" Roy said skillfully and grabbed for Edward's hand.

The woman rolled her eyes when she noticed the matching rings.

"Married?" She asked dryly, barely looking up from her book.

Roy nodded his head and the woman pulled out another cigarette.

"You don't want this room then." She stated and walked over to the windows.

She drew the curtains shut then disappeared back behind the desk.

She nearly fell over as she attempted to pull out a rather large box.

"Come over here." She said and pointed underneath.

Roy was in shock. There were stairs leading down beneath the hotel. Hughes' silently clapped at the cunning.

"It's secure. This will cost about 200."

Roy nodded his head, gave her the other key then pulled out a civilian credit.

The woman looked up and blinked.

She then pointed at the card and said, "Do you see a processor anywhere around here?"

Roy looked around and to his dismay, found nothing.

He sighed angrily and reached deep into his pocket.

He pulled out his brown leather wallet and placed a couple hundreds on the desk.

She greedily picked the money up and carefully examined them under the light from her ceiling lamp.

"Kay." She said and stood out of their way.

Before Roy allowed her to put the box back on the opening he asked, "What do we do if we want to get out?"

She knelt down and pointed to a button on the underside of the box.

Roy raised an eyebrow.

She then pointed to a wire going from the box into the desk.

She sighed and said, "It will make the phone ring."

She noticed the unimpressed look on the man's face and said, "There's a second phone in the other room."

Roy nodded his head.

She then pointed into the dark tunnel and said, "There's a light in the ceiling down there. It will go off when the light up here does."

She paused.

"The walls aren't soundproof so if this is your honeymoon, you're out of luck. This isn't a nice town as you have seen. But, this is one of the safest places to be."

She pulled out a third cigarette and placed it in her mouth.

She then said, "There's a wine cellar down there as well. You drink it, you buy it. I know what's supposed to be there, so don't even try."

Roy nodded his head and smiled.

"Thank you."

She nodded her head and said, "Don't forget bout stayin quiet." She warned.

"You wont be the only in trouble."

And with that, the box was back in its place and Roy was left in the dark.

The woman then sat down in a chair behind the desk and yawned.

"What strange foreigners."

Ж

Edward was surprised to find two clean beds and a pantry of water and a little food.

Roy raised an eyebrow as he looked around.

It was dark and small. The single light on the ceiling was nothing to brag about. It gave about as much light as a candle.

The walls were covered in old black and white photographs of lakes and mountains. Roy slightly smiled at the sight.

"Must be hers." He thought. He was surprised. They were actually pretty good.

"_She must have been a traveler once. " _

He then continued to look around and spotted a dark wooden door next to the pantry.

He pressed his ear against the wood and said, "Must be that wine cellar she was talking about."

Hughes nodded his head and yawned.

He then plopped himself down onto the bed closest to the pantry.

Ed rolled his eyes and sighed. _Same old Hughes. _

He then sat down on the other bed and yawned as well. It was contagious.

Why was he so tired again?

Roy then sat down next to the boy and stretched his arms above his head.

Ed glared then turned his head to look at the bed again.

It was a single. On it was a small peach blanket which seemed to be pretty thin and above that an under stuffed pillow.

Ed growled. There was no way in hell he was sharing a bed with the Colonel again.

Roy sighed sadly, already knowing what the boy was about to say.

He got up and knelt down to look under the bed for some kind of blanket or pillow for himself.

Nothing.

He sighed and looked over at Hughes who was already fast asleep.

"Oh well." He said and curled into ball on the cold stone floor.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

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Wow. It's raining outside. Ooo.. Scary. Lol. But yeah. If you liked this chapter, or even if you didn't like it, REVIEW! PLEASE! REVIEW!


	49. Chapter 49: Exploring

Whee.. Another chapter! Love me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. Thank you.

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Edward tossed and turned. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get to sleep. And he knew exactly why.

He rolled and leaned over the bed to look at Roy.

He growled.

"Roy." He whispered.

Roy turned his head skillfully and blinked.

"What?"

Ed growled and blushed a bit.

"Get your old man ass up here." He harshly snapped.

Roy smiled. "No thanks."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Roy continued to smile and said, "I'm not going to share a bed with someone who doesn't want to."

"Wha?" was all Edward could manage to say as Roy rolled back over.

"Fine!" He growled and rolled as well.

Roy just smiled and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, Edward."

Ж

When morning rolled around, the hustle and bustle of the people could be heard from all over.

Roy pulled his back off the floor. Sitting in an upright position, he squinted in pain as his back cracked a few times.

"Ed?" He whispered and turned his head to an empty bed.

"Ed?" He called again, concerned.

"You're loud." A sleepy voice mumbled from beside him.

Ed was curled up in a little ball right next to where Roy had been sleeping.

No pillow, no blanket. He had left it all on the bed.

Roy couldn't help but smile.

"Silly boy." He whispered under his breath and reached down to kiss the boy's forehead.

Suddenly there was a loud thump and Hughes groaned.

Roy laughed out loud and stood up to go and help his friend.

He extended his arm and Hughes grabbed it.

"That's the sixth time!" Hughes whined.

Roy smiled and helped the clumsy man back onto the bed.

When Hughes was comfortable, his eyes wandered to Edward.

He smirked.

Roy just sighed and rubbed his chin, "What can I say? I'm irresistible."

Hughes rolled his eyes and coughed out, "Yeah. You're somthin alright. But it's not irresistible."

Ж

"How long are we going to be here?" Ed whined.

Roy sighed as he put his shoes back on.

"I'm not sure."

Ed flopped onto the bed and sighed.

Roy turned to look at him and frowned.

The boy was miserable.

He had to do something.

"Alright, Edward." He said.

"I have an idea."

Ж

Edward's eyes teared as he tried to keep himself from laughing.

"What?" Roy asked.

"You." Ed sputtered out.

Roy had dressed himself all in black. On him was a tank top with a black jacket and tatty jeans. Around his head was a bandana and on his hands were biker gloves. He had on a pair of black boots which appeared to be leather. And around his neck were his would-be dog tags.

Hughes couldn't contain himself. He fell off his bed again, just from laughing.

"What are you trying to do? Make them laugh themselves to death?"

Roy growled.

Apparently his idea wasn't the best ever.

He sighed and sat down on the bed Edward was laying in.

Roy peeled off the jacket and sighed. This was hopeless.

Hughes suddenly snapped his fingers as an idea came to him.

"Take off the bandanna and the gloves." He said.

Roy raised an eyebrow, but did what he was told.

It was perfect.

"One last thing." Hughes said and took off Roy's belt.

Roy blushed as his pants slid a little and rested on his buttocks.

Ed pulled the tank top out and gritted it up a bit. He took some of the dust from the walls and threw it on the shirt.

Roy gritted his teeth and sneezed.

"Bless you." Ed said on impulse.

Roy nodded his head and took a look at himself.

"I look ridiculous."

Hughes laughed. "Exactly."

Ж

They had all decided it would be best for Hughes if he stayed in his baggy jacket. It was perfect for concealing his knives.

Roy did make him change into black pants and rough up his hair a bit.

For Ed, Roy made him wear his big black jacket.

Ed growled. "I look stupid."

Roy grinned. "Exactly."

Roy went over to the stairs and pressed the button.

He waited a few minutes then pressed it again.

Suddenly there was a loud thud and the box was pulled.

The woman laughed at Roy's attire and said, "Trying to blend?"

Roy nodded his head and she scoffed.

"Cute."

Ж

As they made their way through the town, Roy noticed that their appearance didn't stop the people from staring at him. They didn't stop staring at Edward either.

Roy growled. He felt his anger grow. If they laid one single little finger on him…

"Hey!" Ed yelled as he looked through a store window.

Roy walked over to investigate.

"Rocko's" It read.

Curiously enough, it was a store for auto mail.

Roy took in a large breath and decided it might not be that bad to go in. After all, it was a small enough store. And he'd have Hughes stand guard outside. It would be fine.

Big mistake.

Ed began looking at all the different tools and materials. His eyes glittered with interest.

The store clerk began eyeing him and licked his lips.

"So, you're interested in auto mail?" The man casually asked.

"Yeah." Edward said, nodding his head.

The man walked over to the particular material Edward was looking at and smirked.

"You like this stuff?"

Ed nodded his head again.

"It's some of the best stuff auto mail could ever be made of." The man pointed out.

"Yeah." Ed said, knowing that his own auto mail was made of it.

Suddenly the man knelt down next to Ed's ear and whispered,

"You know, I have stuff that's ten times better in the back. Called Natrum. And I'll let you look at it."

"Really?" Ed asked in disbelief, falling for the ploy.

Roy, who had been staring at some auto mail design plans pinned to the wall, was obviously not paying much attention.

When he had finally decided it was time to leave, he found no Edward.

"ED?" He yelled.

Suddenly he heard yelling and loud thumps coming from the back.

"Dammit."

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Yes, I know Winry is the Automail freak. But I thought it would be cute for Edward. So nyeh. Lol. REVIEW, REVIEW!


	50. Chapter 50: The Bar

Whee.. Chapter 50! And celebrate 130 faves! Oh yeah! I was dancing earlier. It was pretty funny. lol.  
Oh yeah, and celebrate almost 30000 hits! (Only for this story, mind you.) Woot! Yay for me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. (If I did, Roy would be 19 and Ed would be 17 and they would shag. Constantly)

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"BASTARD!" Ed yelled out as Roy dragged the teenager out from the back of the store.

The store clerk, who had foolishly tried to unbutton Edward's pants, was up sitting leaned against a box.

He was out cold.

Roy couldn't help but laugh.

"LET ME GO! IM GOING TO KILL HIM!" Ed yelled.

Roy just smiled.

He loved his little Edward.

Ж

"Natrum." Ed scoffed under his breath as they walked down the street.

"What an asshole."

Hughes threw his head back and laughed as Roy told him what the clerk looked like when he came upon him.

"That's our Edina." Hughes said with care, and patted the boy's shoulder.

Ed growled and clenched his fists.

"That bastard had it coming."

It was then that Ed noticed all the hungry eyes staring at him.

"What the hell?"

He was fed up.

He walked over to one man in particular. He wasn't bad looking, but had that scruffy air about him. As Ed walked up, the man got a devilish look on his face.

"Hey baby."

Poor, Poor, stupid man.

As Roy pulled the boy off another of his victims, Ed yelled out, "I AM OFF LIMITS YOU ASSHOLES!"

He then whipped around and kissed Roy, full on.

Hughes wisely turned his head away and stared at all the astonished faces.

He then turned back around to see another one.

Roy.

He couldn't say anything, couldn't move. Could barely breathe.

Ed had caught him so off guard, he didn't know what to do.

Ed snapped his fingers and said, "Snap out of it!"

As Roy came back from la-la land, he felt a pat on his back.

"Don't freak out, Roy." Ed said and smirked.

Ed then walked two steps away from Roy and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me! All lowlifes, losers and barbarians!"

Roy smacked his head. "Dear god no."

Ed continued with his announcement and yelled, "I AM OFF LIMITS! You touch me, my…" he paused.

"My husband will kill you!" He then held up his hand to show the ring.

All the townspeople were in a state of shock.

This was something …new.

"And if he's not around…" Ed continued.

"Umm…"

He paused and pulled up his pant leg to reveal his auto mail.

"I'll kick you where it hurts."

Roy saw a couple men hold their crotches with the thought of being kicked by metal.

He then carefully walked up to the enraged teenager, placed his hand on his shoulder and said, "I think you've made your point."

Ed nodded his head. "Good."

Ж

As they made their way back to the hotel, Roy noted there were several people talking in hushes voices. He glared at them and they immediately stopped.

He then smiled and looked down at his companion.

Maybe what he had done wasn't as stupid as he thought after all.

Think again.

Suddenly, an old tall burly man with a blonde mustache appeared. He had broad shoulders and looked like he might have been a wrestling champion. His eyes were crystal blue and crow's feet hung under them. The man's appearance was scruffy, but more refined than the others.

The man slowly waddled over.

Roy glared, pulled Edward behind him and politely asked, "Is there something I can help you with?"

Suddenly the man began to laugh and he patted Roy on the back, nearly sending him into the ground.

"What a trooper." The man yelled in a strange accent.

He then turned and yelled, "You heard the lady."

There was then some talking and before Roy knew it, he was being pulled into a bar.

"Come." The man said.

"Have a drink with me."

Ж

The building was dark and rank with the scent of body odor, cigarettes and well, beer.

The bar itself was fairly clean. A couple girls were manning the bottles. A couple… attractive girls.

"The name's Morgan." The man suddenly said.

Roy nodded his head.

"I'm…" he paused.

Morgan laughed. "Don't worry about it. We'll just call you trooper."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Wha?"

Morgan let out a hearty laugh and twirled his mustache.

"I know you're probably not here under the best of circumstances."

Roy smiled nervously and choked out. "Heh, yeah."

Suddenly, Morgan pounded the bar and yelled out, "Niana! Two Barros!"

"What's a Barro?" Roy asked, a bit concerned.

Morgan laughed.

"It's good rum from the south somewhere."

He paused and grabbed the bottle Niana had brought for him.

"It'll put some hair on your chest." Morgan laughed out.

Niana smirked as she poured a mug for Roy.

"Here you go.Try not to get too drunk, kay?"

Roy scowled.

Niana laughed and spurted out, "Morgan, maybe you should lay off on this one. He doesn't look too hardy."

It was then that Roy brought up the mug and took it all down in one shot.

He pounded it onto the bar and said, "Another."

Needless to say Niana was surprised. She grabbed the bottle and said, "Maybe I was wrong."

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After about four mugs on Morgan's tab, Roy was out like a light.

Ed, who had been playing cards, quickly rushed to Roy's side and yelled, "What happened to him?"

Niana flipped her black hair back and laughed hoarsely.

"Couldn't hold his liquor."

Morgan let out a hearty laugh and said, "You got a greenhorn there, Miss."

Ed rolled his eyes and clenched his fist.

"Of all times to be getting drunk… you asshole."

Morgan twirled his mustache and grinned.

"I guess you best take him to bed. It won't be good for him to sleep here."

Ed growled. "I can't carry him."

Morgan pointed toward Hughes who was dancing around like an idiot with a pan on his head.

"Right." Ed groaned.

Ж

When Ed finally tore Hughes away from his adoring crowd, they both dragged Roy back to the hotel.

When they got there, the woman laughed. "Greenhorn?" She asked, with a slight hint of criticism in her tone.

Ed nodded his head and groaned out, "They both are."

The woman just laughed and let them back into their room.

When Hughes threw Roy onto the bed, he took about two steps and fell onto his.

They were both out.

Ed growled.

"Idiots."

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Whee.. Yes, I know you're all mad at me for not going more into Roy being drunk. hehe. I did that on purpose. You'll see later. Oooo.. I'm bad. hehe. Oh, and be sure to Review for me pretty please and thank you.


	51. Chapter 51: Poor Roy

Admit it. You missed me. Haha. Yes, I am back. Sorta. I had no idea I had been away for so long. I hope you'll all forgive me. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. I wish I did. But I do not.

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The next morning, Roy had a massive headache. When Hughes and Ed left the room to search for medicine, the woman, whose name was apparently Dasha, just shook her head and smirked.

As they walked down the street, Ed noticed people were friendlier than before. The man that he had previously punched out even waved.

"Edina!" A loud voice then boomed.

"Oh no." Ed groaned and whined as the old man rushed over to give "her" a bone-crushing bear hug.

"Where's your strapping young love?" He asked with a laugh.

Ed rolled his eyes and mumbled, "He's got a hangover."

Morgan just laughed and shouted, "Poor man."

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When they finally got away from Mr. Morgan-who-talks-a-lot, they found a nice quaint little medicine shop right at the edge of town.

"Welcome to our store!" A little girl shouted from a chair next to the door. She wore her long black hair in pig tails that seemed to fall to her shoulders when she talked. She wore a long red skirt with a white button up blouse.

"Oh.. my.. god!" Hughes suddenly shouted.

He slowly walked over to the girl and picked her up.

"You are absolutely adorable!" He shouted and sparkled with joy.

"Yes she is."

A woman agreed as she appeared from behind the store. Her hair was raven black and was pulled back with a red ribbon which tied into a knot. The dress she wore seemed foreign. It was graced with the colors orange, black and red in beautiful designs with triangles and flowers. Hughes also noted that she seemed to be with-child. Although, to mention such a thing and be wrong would lead to a very puffy lip.

"My name is Kesmarel!" The little girl suddenly shouted with joy.

Hughes gleamed.. "My name is…" he paused.

"A secret!"

The little girl pouted as Hughes put her down.

"You're mean!" She said and puffed out her lips.

The woman behind the counter smiled and said, "Kessie, you know traveler's names are secret."

Kesmarel just nodded her head and smiled.

"It's okay Mr!" She shouted.

"I still like you!"

The woman smiled wide and said, "You seem to be good with children."

Roy gleamed with pride and beamed, "I have one of my own at home."

"You miss her?" The woman asked.

Hughes looked down at little Kesmarel who was pulling on his fingers. He then nodded his head slowly and sighed.

"Oh! We need medicine!" He quickly covered.

The woman nodded her head.

Ed stepped up to the counter, which was about an inch shorter than he was and announced, "We need something for a hangover."

The woman laughed.

"You're the ones with the greenhorn."

Ed smacked his head and growled, "Yeah, that'd be him…"

Ж

After they got the bottle of "Hangover Medicine" as Lydia, the store owner, called it, they made their way back.

"Edina!" A loud voice rumbled one more.

"Lovely." Ed whined.

"Here!" Morgan shouted. "Come meet my son!"

His name was Shane. He had blonde hair, like his father, but green eyes, unlike his father. Shane was about Roy's height, about the same build but more muscle. He didn't have the scruffy look most of the men had; he had a compassionate and loving one.

Ed would have preferred this Shane person over all these scoundrels any day.

"Don't be shy!" Morgan shouted and put their hands together so they could shake.

"Nice to meet you." said Shane.

"You too." Ed mumbled.

Ж

After the pleasantries, Hughes decided it would be best to get back quickly with Roy's "Hangover Medicine".

Ed waved, but before he could go, Shane asked if he could see him later.

Ed nodded his head and trotted off.

"She's cute." Shane admitted.

Morgan laughed a hearty laugh and pointed out, "You know that greenhorn is her husband, right?"

Shane glared.

He then smiled smugly and sneered, "We'll see about that…"

Ж

When they got back, Roy was fast asleep.

Hughes decided he would make Ed wake him up.

Ed scowled.

"FINE!" He shouted and marched over to the man.

He leaned over directly above him and whispered, "Roy. Wake up."

Roy moaned in his sleep and fidgeted a little.

Ed got impatient.

He placed a hand on Roy's cheek and patted it softly.

"Wake up."

Suddenly Roy's eyes fluttered open and he blushed.

"Wha? What?" He mumbled.

Ed rolled his eyes and growled.

"We have medicine for you."

"Oh." Roy mumbled and rubbed his head.

Ed pulled a small blue bottle and a little cup from a brown paper bag in his hand.

He filled the little cup all the way with the strange chocolate-smelling, clear liquid and said, "Take this."

Roy attempted to pull himself up, but only succeeded in making his headache worse.

Hughes then cleared his throat and ventured, "Have you thrown up yet?"

"No." Roy sighed out. "Thankfully"

After Ed helped Roy sit up right with the help of the wall, he gave him the cup.

Hughes then quickly grabbed the cup from Roy and snapped, "If he's this messed up, there's no way he has any depth perception."

"His brain won't know how to get the cup to his mouth. He'll end up with it all over himself"

Ed growled. "Well I'm not putting it down his throat.

Hughes sighed angrily and snapped, "Yes you will."

Ed scowled and pouted.

"Fine!"

He then put the small cup to Roy's lips and made him drink it.

Roy smiled afterward and sighed.

"What's got you so happy?" Ed snapped, annoyed.

Roy just looked up at "his little Edward" and sighed.

"You."

Ж

After a huge blushing fit, Ed fell backward and onto the floor with a thump.

Roy couldn't help but laugh, even though his head hurt like hell, he _had _to laugh.

Hughes laughed as well.

"What a silly bunch we are." He then said.

"A tough yet wimpy fire-guy who can't hold his liquor, a cat-loving, cross-dressing, half-metal, mega shrimp…"

Roy and Ed then looked at each other and said in unison,

"And a happy-go-lucky, picture-loving freak who can't keep his mouth shut."

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Yes, I am going to be writing again. I think. Possibly. I'm still busy with school, but I'll make time. I've missed writing this thing. :) Oh and review for me pretty please?


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